Kettles, Robots, and Swimming in "Post Racial America"....

I think it's safe to say that our infatuation with the promise of a "post-racial America" is officially way over. Not that I ever bought into it, for sure. Much about race is bubbling up these days, and while a tiny bit of it just has me shaking my head, the rest of it just makes me wanna kick somebody's ass sometimes. Like Field Negro said, it's just exhausting trying to keep up.

What leaves me going "whatever, dude" is pot/kettle Quincy Jones' non-revelation about Micheal Jackson "wanting to be white". "Have you seen his kids?" he asks in an interview. Wow. This from a man who I've never seen date anyone darker than a Sunset Spray Tan, and whose daughters can pass so well they actually get work in Hollywood. This is who he was with in Europe instead of attending the funeral of the man who made him zillions:



Speaking of Micheal, spotted this on my blogging buddy Eric Easter's site "Big Ideas" from Ebony/Jet.Com. It is a video of Sammy Davis Jr. comparing himself to Michael Jackson on Arsenio Hall, and ends up being something close to a confessional on race. Sammy goes in a few different directions, but you can see and feel the pain this immensely talented man went through, and he used that talent to navigate his way through a tragic life, just like Mike. It was his shield, just like Mike. Oddly Sammy was the only other celebrity besides MJ that made me cry when he passed.




What makes one want to put foot to ass is the situation in Philly that most have heard about by now, where a group of children were denied entry into a swimming pool because it was feared they may change "the complexion" of the pool area. Yes, the fools that run the joint actually said that.

I am not surprised, however, as the same thing happened to me as a kid. My family and I took a road trip to Canada, and in one hotel in Washington state we went swimming. When we went in, all of the YT's promptly got out. I saw one kid crying to his mom "Why can't we swim? I want to swim!" and his mother hissed at him to "shut the hell up". When I asked my mother if everyone got out because of us (it was even obvious to me as an 8 year old), she said "don't worry about it, there's just more room for us to swim now". And being a kid, I promptly forgot about about it. But now that I know better, I'm sure she felt all of the pain, hurt, and frustration those kids felt, and what made it more ridiculous is though Black, she is the same skin tone as those who got out. I am grateful she made light of it for my sake, so I did not feel what she felt too.


And finally, a cinema related statement on race; a post that my blogging soulmate Tafari did for The Afrospear, which he relayed got him a lot of heated haterade comments:

"Yesterday, I made it a point to go see “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” in IMAX. Ever since the last Transformers theatrical release I had been giddy for more.

Hours before I headed to the movies, I started reading posts online that discussed racism in the movie but still I pressed on to Showcase Cinemas and dropped $10.50 for my ticket.

Fast forwarding 2.5 hours later. I’m walking out of the theater with my mind blown for many reasons; 1st, the movie was so action packed I thought I was going to slip into a seizure. 2nd the movie was overtly sexual, which made it seem like an R rated movie instead of PG-13 and 3rd the racism that was built into the movie was billed as comedic relief.

As I drove home, I tried to reconcile the racism but I could not, so I decided to sleep on it.

So this morning, when I woke up, I actually got mad about what I saw in “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” The racism that I’m talking about in case you don’t already know is dealing with the Autobot twins “Skids” and “Mudflap” or the “ Little Black Sambo[ts].

1. Both of the twins talk like they are straight from a Lil Wayne video.
   
   
2. They play the dozens (crack jokes on each other and anyone else) in every scene.
3. They are seemingly proud of the fact that they cannot read. “Read?! Nuh-uh…” “No, we don’t really do much readin’!”
   
   
4. Skids has a GOLD front tooth. Yes, a big bucked out gold tooth
5. The names “Skids” and “Mudflap” imply darkness and or nastiness.
   
   
6. Do I really need to add a 6th, you should get the picture now.

(Wait, for extra measure, if you want to see another relevant countdown list, you have to read this. “7 reasons why Transformers 2 might be racist…”)

With all this now parsed out, I’m wondering why and how this stereotypical bullshit slipped past Michael Bay and Paramount Pictures. Did they care? Did they know? Did they think it was ok?

I feel bad and torn because I actually liked the movie a lot, but how could I in good conscious? Maybe it’s the kid in me remembering watching the cartoon way back in the mid 80s.

Although the racism pisses me off about this flick, I was also disturbed about the adult content and overt hypersexuality. But like I said, I liked the movie, so what does this mean about me?

I know I won’t see the movie again, nor will I purchase the DVD. I do not want my kids seeing this mess and not only that it’s so not a kids movie. Don’t let the PG-13 rating fool you!

Transformers used to be all about the kids way back when, but not so much now thanks to Michael Bay and Paramount Pictures. I’m just saying.

Side note: This post is not nearly what I wanted it to be. Not at all! My thoughts are with and on Michael Jackson. As I wrap this up, I’m chair dancing to “Off The Wall” while I try to control my urge to cry about a man that reached my soul through song, dance and beauty."

From IW: Why am I not surprised that Mike Epps was the voice one of those coontastic robots?

Update: OK, I was misinformed. It wasn't Mike Epps, but one of the voices was YT Tom Kenny, who also voices Spongebob Squarepants :-(

Movie Review: The Human Contract

I didn't write about this film "from writer-director Jada Pinkett-Smith" on my movie review site "Soul Sis-Star Reviews" as I don't really consider it Black Cinema, but wanted to comment on it because of it's director, Mrs. Will Smith.

Full disclosure: I am not the biggest fan of Jada--I am not even what you would consider a small one, but I tried to stay as unbiased and objective as possible while viewing this.

I am, however, a huge and devoted fan of those who do many things in their lifetime, and do it with confidence, swagger, and success. Transistions that a normal person would like to do even one of in their lifetime. People like Paul Newman for example, who was an actor, a race car driver, and a philanthropist. Fred Williamson who was a football star, TV star on Diahann Carroll's 60's TV show Julia, then went on to produce his own movies, making him arguably the biggest Black action star ever.

Then we have Mrs. Smith, though trying out everything in her heart's desire; book author, relationship expert, TV star, rocker, producer, philanthropist, and now director, seems to be a Jack of all trades and master of none. Well, except how to marry very, very, well.

That's not exactly fair, I guess. I have a begrudging respect that she actually does it, tho the results are usually not impressive to me. There is something about her that I find very disingenuous, and with this film I found myself bouncing back and forth from the begrudging respect back to my thoughts of pretension.

The respect comes from the fact that she wrote a film that isn't entirely bad--a story of a bored and suppressed rich and well connected executive, who finds an interesting and much needed diversion with Spanish star Paz Vega.

The story is not complicated, seemingly aiming to be a sexy noir-ish film on par with "9 1/2 Weeks" or "Basic Instinct", where a mysterious and sexy stranger shakes up the life up a formerly repressed and conservative protagonist, bringing out a freak inside they never knew existed, thereby freeing all other emotional, spiritual repression, blah, blah, blah.

There are several issues which prevent this film from reaching the annals of the movies I just mentioned....first of all let me state that I promptly fell asleep 15 minutes in, despite the fact there was a sex scene and Idris Elba using his real Brit accent 10 minutes in. Not a good sign.


There is also the lead, probably the most unsexy dude ever in a supposedly erotic film, Jason Clarke. He is unlikeable in every way, not that handsome or hot, only showing emotion when he is angry, and when he is angry, then someone always gets beat down. Badly. What executive goes around doing things like that? (It is part of the supposed "big reveal"). The pacing is very uneven, mostly deadly slow, with no tension or anything compelling to keep you wondering what will happen next. In fact, the film doesn't really even have a point until about an hour into it--surely a factor that will lose many a viewer. Jada Pinkett plays the executive's sister. Ummm...why is he white and she's Black? Why is absolutely no explanation given about that? (at least not one that I heard).

Great attention is given to a rice dish that Vega feeds the exec; it pans over the plate slowly no less than three times, yet a scene where the exec saves a homeless man from near death is given exactly 15 seconds. Huh?

Anyhoo, Paz Vega turns out to be married, but she and her husband have "an understanding" and apparently he is solidly behind her while she's out juking whomever, male or female. Is this art imitating life, Jada? Or just titillating stuff that you do with the press so well?

Turns out the exec ends up having a problem with the husband situation, even though she'd been quite clear and honest all along from practically the beginning. And despite the fact that all she does is look extremely beautiful and is extremely kind and understanding to him, even though he is self-centered, spoiled, whiney crybaby. Just a couple of the many holes in the story. He ends up learning about life and love through her, after it's just a bit too late.


What we have on our hands is not a 9 1/2 Weeks or a Basic Instinct, but something in the realm of their massively inferior sequels; "Wild Orchid" and "Basic Instinct 2", both also very unsexy "erotic" thrillers. But I must admit, even saying all of this, it is a pretty film to look at, and Jada has potential if she could focus on one thing. Maybe just writing, or maybe just directing. And no Spike Lee-ing by inserting herself in the film. Just my opinion.

This N' That....

Didn't watch the BET Awards last night, did you? I know there was a tribute to Michael J, which was nice, but did you know that Spike Lee and John Singleton both directed videos for the Gloved One? I didn't. (I posted the pic above cause I absolutely love these two together, so sue me.)


Speaking of Michael, The Reaper seems to be on a vendetta...Farrah, McMahon, and yesterday Billy Mays. Strangely I felt kinda bad about Billy---my co-workers had this joke that if they wanted someone to get their ass in gear they would imitate Mays and talk REALLY loud, saying that his shouting style seemed to motivate people. Someone was watching "Pitchmen" at my house (Billy's show) ironically the day before he died, and I felt an immense amount of respect for how he treated his family--they were so very loving, I'm very sad for them, he seemed like a very good man.


I watched, or half-watched, "A Good Man Is Hard To Find" on TV One yesterday, starring an array of very attractive and very C-List actors. Was that movie underwritten by Tyler Perry? All the elements were there...the gospel scenes, the child in peril, the woman getting her ass beat, and this seeming surplus of "good men" and all problems are completely solved by going to church. *yawn* But I have to admit that I absolutely adore the original series "Unsung", especially the profiles on Donny Hathaway, Minnie Ripperton, and Shalamar. What is up with Jeffery Daniel's upper crust semi-British accent? Weird.


The trash that is Transformers made a sh*tload of money over the weekend, being number one, of course. My Sergio had this to say:

"[Keep] this in perspective. The film cost $250 million to make and another $150 for advertising and marketing , so Paramount knew from the outset that they had to make the film the biggest opening ever if they had any shot to make their money back. Which is why the film already opened overseas almost two weeks ago and opened here in over 4200 theaters. And also keep in mind that the far and away superior The Dark Knight opened last year with an opening $203 million and it achieved that in three days while this racist piece of shit opened on a Wednesday."

A couple years ago I posted a piece about the first "Transformers" called "Racism And Robots" which you can read HERE. I didn't even write the actual article, yet I got some voracious hate mail and a good amount of traffic from it--still do. And yes, I still believe Michael Bay is a loser.



Speaking of traffic, why do I get tons from folks searching for Countess Vaughn of all people. Who can these people be and why do they want to know about her? The mind boggles.....


And listen to me and the majority of the contributors to Shadow And Act chop it up on a podcast tonight--get your details right HERE, my friend....5pm PST, 8pm EST.

Old School Music Fridays: Michael Jackson

I haven't done one of these in a long time...there was no way I could miss this week's theme, Michael Jackson.

When I first heard that Mike had a heart attack, I was a bit surprised but not really. I heard he was pretty frail these days, and with all the stress and pressure he's been under for the last 15 years, it would have worn down anyone, point blank...I fully expected him to recover. But then when I read he'd died, it felt like someone had socked me hard in my chest--I could not believe what I was seeing. I involuntarily began to cry.

Tho I have been side-eying Michael and his antics for quite some time, all I could remember was that my first real memory of music and dancing as a toddler was to Michael. My parents had these huge speakers in the den, the outside was made of real wood; completely old school. I remember dancing to Mike and his brothers facing those speakers, in my fuzzy bunny slippers and pajamas, my hair all wrapped up in the scarf I would sleep in to keep my hair neat and pretty--I loved that music so much! The first concert I ever went to was Mike and his brothers--I was so excited cause I got to touch Jermaine on his way by...

That's the only way I choose to remember Michael, for his music, for I believe he did the best that he knew how, and he never seemed to be able to mend his heart and overcome his issues and demons like say...Prince. I would have loved for him to enjoy what appears to be the peaceful, lavish, respected life Prince has, but I am also glad his pain is at rest.

Me being me, here is a mini-movie video that Mike made back in the day, with icons Eddie Murphy, Iman, and Magic Johnson. It is a fantastic tribute in my eyes to the beauty of Blackness, and I was very proud of Michael when he made it. Enjoy and have a blessed day:

Micheal Jackson - Remember the Time
Uploaded by R33f. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Please visit my Old School Fridays fam and folkses today for your fill of Micheal Jackson tributes and remembrances:

AJ - http://overanalyzeit.wordpress.com/Believer 1964 - http://ruhoffman.blogspot.com/BklynQueen’86 - http://vanitydark.blogspot.com/CC Groovy - http://ccgroovy.blogspot.com/Chocl8t - http://thechocl8tdiaries.wordpress.com/Cooper - http://wonderlandornot.net/Shawn - http://dallassouthblog.com/Danielle Vyas - http://modernmusings.com/Dee - http://donotcolorme.blogspot.com/DP - http://therealready.blogspot.com/Fresh and Fab - http://freshandfab.blogspot.com/Hagar’s Daughters – http://hagarsdaughters.blogspot.com/John - http://altjirangamitjina.blogspot.com/Kevin - http://slanttruth.com/Kim - http://thepunkin-patch.blogspot.com/LaKeisha - http://kreativetalk.blogspot.com/LaShonda - http://thee-biz.blogspot.com/Lil Creole Pimp - http://creolepimp.blogspot.com/Lisa C - http://lisacwrites.blogspot.com/Mahogany - http://www.mahoganydymond.net/Malcolm - http://popculturedish.blogspot.com/Marcus - http://marcuslangford.com/MarvalusOne - http://www.conversationswithmarva.com/ Mike - http://thehappygoluckybachelor.blogspot.com/Mrs. Grapevine - http://mrsgrapevine.com/MsLadyDeborah - http://msladydeborah.blogspot.com/Pjazzypar - http://www.tracesofastream.blogspot.com/Pop Art Diva - http://popartdiva.blogspot.com/Quick - http://thequickcatchup.blogspot.com/Regina - http://reginasfamilyseasons.blogspot.com/Shae-Shae - http://heyshae.com/blogSharon - http://thetrueurbanqueen.blogspot.com/SJP - http://sojournersplace.blogspot.com/Thembi - http://whatwouldthembido.blogspot.com/Villager - http://electronicvillage.blogspot.com/Vivrant Thang - http://songsinthekeyoflife.wordpress.com/Zenobia - http://from-the-battlefield.blogspot.com/

For My New York Folkses....

Got this is my email:

Hey

My name is Jonathan Hyppolite from Afropunk. I was wondering if you can put up the Afropunk poster on your webpage for promoting the entire festival. Musician and Poet Saul Williams, Grammy Award-nominated Janelle Monae, and Legendary 1977 punk band Pure Hell are just a few of the headliners for the 5th Annual Afropunk Music/Film Festival in Brooklyn, NY. UrbanX will introduce the BMX/Skateboarding competitions with the prize being two tickets to the X-Games. Can't wait to see you guys there. History in the making.

Event: 5th Annual Afropunk Music/Film Festival
Place: Brooklyn Academy Of Music
Time 11am-10pm (times varies)
Dates: June 30th ( Webster Hall) July 4th-6th, July 12th (Bloc party)

Much Love

Jonathan Hyppolite
http://www.afropunk.com

Movies Revisited...Mo Better Blues

This is a repost from my other blog "Soul Sis-Star Reviews" (Movies Revisited), where Issa Rae and I give our two cents on Black Film we've watched. Please join us over there and give your two cents as well :-)


Even though this movie was highly anticipated when it came out, and I did indeed see it then, there were only a few details I remembered...the beautiful clothes, how pretty everyone looked, slightly crushing on Wesley Snipes (long gone, of course). But watching it again brought me a bit past my original superficial thoughts on the film.

For those of you who don't know, the plot synopsis is this (from IMDB--not a very good one, sorry):
"Opens with Bleek as a child learning to play the trumpet, his friends want him to come out and play but mother insists he finish his lessons. Bleek grows into adulthood and forms his own band - The Bleek Gilliam Quartet. The story of Bleek's and Shadow's friendly rivalry on stage which spills into their professional relationship and threatens to tear apart the quartet."

Like many of Spike's films, I found parts of Mo Better Blues to be pretentious and cartoony, edging on corniness--the dialogue of the children in the scene where Bleek Gilliam, the main character played by Denzel Washington was a child, the overly studied and propped shots of "the hood" that would even be too much for a photograph, the very familiar moving dolly shots that were part of Spike's trademark.

For some reason this time around they were endearing to me, maybe because it was a woeful reminder that there is a severe absence in trademarks or style in today's Black Cinema. There are some up and coming directors that are notable, to be sure, but none of them have established a familiarity of like, say, a Spike, Tim Burton, or Wes Bentley. Earnest Dickerson, the cinematographer on this film, was also on top of his game here--the colors, the crisp, professional look of the film, the surreal atmospheres, the intimacy of the jazz club, the way he made everyone look so lush and beautiful...even Spike almost had a handsome look in this one.

I got lost in the beauty of the movie, and wondered why I never crushed on Denzel back in the day. When I worked for The Studio That Will Henceforth Remained Unnamed, Denzel's production offices were right downstairs, and I was never even remotely curious. After viewing this film, I wondered for the rest of the day what planet I must have been on....yes, he was deserving of the sex symbol hype he garnered in the 90's--Denzel was hot as fish grease on the sun in this.


If this film were made today it would do gangbusters--the different moods of the film, from brooding, to comedic, to romantic flow very well together. The storylines--Bleek's sometimes acrimonious relationship with his right hand and sax player Shadow (Wesley), the shenanigans and gambling issues of his manager, Giant (Spike), the two timing love relationships that he had with his women, Clarke (Cynda Williams) and Indigo (c'mon, really, Indigo?) played by the one mega-weak link in the film (besides Cynda's anticlimatic "big" singing debut), Joie Lee, Spike's sister...the storylines mesh and never overwhelm each other.

I understand Spike has love for his sis, but I believe this would have been an infinitely even better film if a stronger, or at least more interesting actress would have been cast in ger role. Joie's personality (and I use that term loosely) seems to fade into the background; her look is different and while attractive in it's own right, is not particularly big screen worthy. In her love scenes with Denzel she has zero sex appeal--she made kissing on him look like a chore...what was up with that? Maybe she was uncomfortable with her brother shooting her that way...if that was the case, someone really should have let the Assistant Director step in.

I must admit, because of the dearth of interesting Black film (interesting to me, anyway) I have found that lately, rewatching film that are 10, 20, 30 years old, that I have a much deeper appreciation for the work, time, and creativity for movies such as this one. Mo Betta Blues has moved up more than a few notches in my book--if you haven't seen it, rent immediately--if only to reminisce on the comedic stylings of the late Robin Harris, the house comedian in the jazz club and to enjoy the jazzy score. Here is the trailer:

WTF??!!! Volume 15

Please. please, PLEASE let this be some BS! From Dlisted:

Why did I have to read about Morgan Freeman allegedly Wood-Allen-ing his step-granddaughter?! If I dip my head in a pot of boiling bleach will it burn away that image along with 99% of the skin on my face? I might be willing to try it.

I hope the National Enquirer was just telling jokes when they wrote about 72-year-old Morgan Freeman's 10-year-long affair with his 27-year-old step-granddaughter E'Dena Hines. Please let them issue a statement that they thought April Fool's Day got moved to mid-June for some reason.

A source tells the Enquirer that E'Dena is the granddaughter of Morgan's first wife Jeanette. Morgan and his second wife Myrna raised E'Dena ever since she was a little girl. The affair reportedly started when E'Dena was a teenager. The source went on to say, "Myrna said E'dena told her that when she was a teenager, she and Morgan went to dinner at a friend's house one evening. Both had been drinking, and when they returned home, Morgan attempted to have sex with her. They stopped just short of having intercourse. E'Dena explained to Myrna that she stopped Morgan from going any further."

Myrna told Morgan to step off E'Dena and he promised he would. Without Myrna knowing, Morgan's relationship with E'Dena continued for years.

The source wants all to know that it's technically not incest since they aren't blood relatives,
"but Morgan is trying desperately to keep his divorce out of open court so all the shameful facts won't become public."

I know most of you stopped at "National Enquirer," but they sound serious about this one. Maybe we should all just pretend this is a work of creepy fan fiction and then slowly back away until we get further evidence? Okay, I won't dip my head in bleach just yet, but in the meantime.....

MustthinkofkittensMustthinkofkittensMustthinkofkittensMustthinkofkittens

From IW: Oh hayell to the naw!!!

Terrence Watch!: Massive Stupidity Edition

There are those in life that should never speak and keep a low profile, but for some reason seem to be unable to do it. O.J. is currently paying for his runningus mouthus, and Sarah Palin seems to be incapable of even slightly perceiving what a complete and total moron she is. Case in point, fighting a war of words with David Letterman, whose mind can run around the earth's equator five times before Palin's tiny bird brain can process a simple sentence. Will she ever learn? Probably not--arrogance is a treacherous thing.

The treachery of arrogance can lead to several things; like thinking that you are completely desirable to everyone in your path, or that you are a Mensa scholar with everyone hanging on to your every word as if it were gold. Or both. This same arrogance also apparently makes you blissfully unaware that you are an idiot; Palin, Trump, Spencer Pratt, Jon Voight, Republican head Michael Steele, Miley Cyrus...I can go on and on. But the only one that makes me really take notice is the one who always brings me out of my Blog Hiatus, my beloved Terrence Howard.

Since I've been on hiatus, my darling Terrence has gotten engaged *sniff*, saved a baby bird from certain death in Beverly Hills (which miraculously made many news and blog outlets--kudos Baby Wipe publicist!), and recently had this golden nugget of wisdom for us lowly earthlings:

"I don't think President Obama has been that revolutionary in reaching out to ethnic communities. President Reagan did a lot for the black community that people don't realize."


Well, I must admit, I sure the f*ck didn't know that. Ol' Ronald sure was hiding it very, very well. You learn something new every day, yes? Maybe one day Terrence can share even more of his ethereal sage wisdom and let us know exactly what those things were. Until then, I'll watch the kids in deep East Oakland play with rocks instead of being in the after-school programs Reaganomics snatched away. Thanks once again, my Prince, for waking me from my blog beauty sleep! Back to my Billy Wilder marathon on TCM....

Sarah Palin's feet and toes at a recent appearance--speaks volumes, don't it? I think Dave was on to something about the "slutty flight attendant" look

Psssst....

Hey guys...I'm back for a sec to tell you about a site that me and my girl Issa Rae from Black Film Academy started up...its called Soul Sis-Star Reviews, and it's all Black Cinema reviews for films old and new--from two minds that are probably just as twisted as the other, haha! Check us out HERE...we are still under construction so bear with us--love you!

PS: I am not leaving this blog, don't worry :-)

OK, Y'all....

While the rest of the world is trying to figure out if Oprah really wears a weave (she says no), or why your cousins minstreled it up to the highest power over some Popeye's for Earth Day (hilarious post!) and for some KFC last week, and why any type of moisture whatsoever is kryptonite to Gary Coleman (see picture above), Ms. Invisible tries to stay sane through the arts, but even I have succumbed a bit. But even as I try to stay afloat these days, please believe that I will never, ever, be as crazy as this chick right here:



Because of the changes I have been navigating, I wanted to be fair and let folks know what is going on. When I started this blog, I compiled a 'Negro Justice League' of bloggers, which consisted of me (of course), Undercover Black Man, Afronerd, PurpleZoe, and Supernegro, with Just Judith as our loyal Gal Friday. Well, two folded up their capes to do wonderful things; Supernegro aka Jeffrey L. Wilson, also a tech writer, went off to write a book, and Undercover Black Man, aka David Mills, just shut down shop to write with David Simon (The Wire) on a new HBO show that was greenlit called "Treme" (watch for it next year, read about it HERE).


Anyhoo, I thought about taking their route. If you want to be strong and leave the blogosphere, it is almost like quitting drugs, honestly. But I am not able to do it cold turkey. I love and enjoy my readers too much, and y'all know I love talking about film too much. So rather than have you guys keep checking for a new post that isn't there, I will be going on hiatus with this blog for an extended period.

Thank you to the readers that have encouraged me to keep it open and not shut down-- specifically the wonderful commenters, those who have started "following" my blog even in the absence of fresh posts, and my amazing brother and sister bloggers--big up to 4 of them who all gave me a "SPLASH AWARD" (yes 3 separate ones! see the award pic above) in the past 2 weeks--Professor Tracey of "Aunt Jemima's Revenge", Ms. Marvalus of "Opinionated Black Woman" and "Conversations With Marva" (who ALWAYS has my back through thick and thin!), and Aaron and Alaine from "A Political Season". All of these bloggers are super-duper intelligent Negroes on every level, so it was quite the honor, to say the least.

But fear not, while I am away from this blog, I will be contributing to another wonderful Black Cinema blog--"Shadow And Act". It is collaboration of me, Tambay Obenson from "The Obenson Report", my beloved Sergio from Ebony/Jet, and my Black Cinema comrades of "Must Love Movies", "Black Film Academy" and "The Black Box Office". Please join us daily over there, because unlike me, there are some overachievers there that actually have the nerve to post more than once a day, every day. Can you imagine?


Keep those martinis flowing... and stay woke! :-)


I WILL be back....until then......SHADOW AND ACT

When It All Falls Down....

I think I ruffled a few feathers not too long ago when I stated that "age was the enemy" on the post I did on Jimmy "J.J" Walker and Boy George, alluding to their rapid deterioration and alarming visages. Some said "It's not age, it's lifestyle!" True, that is a factor, but you can be the exercisinest veganist vegan, and it all hits the end of the road somewhere. I started thinking of this subject for several reasons...the first one being this:


That these two that practically anyone, at any time, at any place, would have smashed in the 90's end up looking like Michael Jackson's unholy apprentices. I just don't get it. NOTE TO HOLLYWOOD: Make a beeline to whomever works on Halle Barry and Jennifer Lopez and call it a day! Those two should be the only working plastic surgeons in the world. Period.



Yes, age is devastating, as was witnessed on the "American Idol" disco medley the other day. Much has been made of how "ancient" the guests were, but if any of the readers of this blog look like Freda Payne (67 in Sept), or Thelma Houston (63 in a yellow dress showing a massive amount of leg) at their ages, please let me know. As for KC of KC and the Sunshine Band....well, let's just say he is dealing with a numerous amount of the white man's burdens.





Another example of the perils of aging is the disappointing film I watched the other day, "Original Gangstas". I was very happy to live with the memory of the fine-ass (and I do mean ass) Fred Williamson, aka 'The Hammer' from the 70's, and this film was an unwelcome jolt of reality. It is a vengeance movie that brings together Williamson, Jim Brown (wearing this life's most unfortunate kufi to cover an even more unfortunate bald spot), Ron O'Neal (Superfly, looking like the cashier/weed dealer at your nearest bodega), Richard Roundtree (Shaft), and Pam Grier (Foxy Brown, with hair looking like it hasn't seen the working end of a flat iron for several decades). You would think bringing together the most iconic icons of 70's Blaxploitation would be the sh*t, but sadly, I was left wishing everyone would have just rested on their laurels, and all I wanted to do was hand out Restalyne and Ab Rollers to everyone involved :-(




But there are other things that can cause it to all fall down, most prolific being stupidity. Rapper/actor Xzibit is about to lose his house to foreclosure, after 100 years of "Pimp My Ride" and it's reruns. Terrence Howard is still whining about losing his part in "Ironman". Ummm....T? Everyone involved with this film has been a professional for years. You mumble, sleepwalk, and use your "quivering voice" at dramatic pauses, then proceed to jack your price up sky high? That is exactly why you are in some fucked up movie called "Fighting" with the other weirdest Black man in Hollywood, Roger Guenveur Smith, who is probably your doppelganger, and playing second fiddle to Channing Tatum, whoever that is. Maybe you can pick up where Wesley Snipes left off.

A loooong way from wearing Ironman's suit of armor, yes?



Stupidity coupled with being low budget is definitely the way to make it fall down. Idris Elba now refuses to do press junkets and attend the premieres of his masterpiece "Obsessed". Negro, you were on "The Wire". Did you even read the script for this POS? I'm assuming not, as it surely would have ended up in "the circular file" as my grandfather used to say--aka the wastebasket. Don't act all brand new now. What did you possibly hope to accomplish starring opposite Beyonce and Ali Larter, in a film that was produced by the dude that did "3 Can Play That Game?" Falling down, dude. Hard.



But nobody has fallen as hard in my recent memory as this next one. I watched a bootleg (yes, I'm going to Heck) of "Single Black Female", which is without exception the very worst film ever made, ever. It looked like it was filmed on a 1999 Nokia phone, yet I was could not stop watching it. I was completely transfixed by it's unbelievable horribleness--I think I was hypnotized. Beyonce can make a thousand "Obsesseds" and it wouldn't even come close to the stench of this flick. It "stars" Farrah Something Or Other, who used to be in Destiny's Child, and obviously that will forever be the zenith in her life till the grave. Yes, age is no joke, but combine being stupid, low budget, AND talentless and there is nowhere to go but down. Behold:




So I stand corrected, age is not the only enemy, but it is still definitely in the top five!

Not So Blind Item....

Hard-Nipple Nick is the hottest star, both bod-wise and at the box office. His wife’s figure and professional goings-on aren’t too shabby, either, as both Mr. and Mrs. Nick enjoy fame and fortune regularly up on the big screen—though his paychecks dwarf hers, big-time.

Yep, everything’s pretty cozy Chez Nick, even the bisexual couple’s agreement to have lovers outside the marriage. Instead of his-and-hers towels, they have his-and-hers sex partners!

And you guessed it, there’s a girl for Mrs. Nick and…

A boy for Mr. Nick! And like the smart have-it-all couple they are, the Nicks chose other famous people to be their closeted lovers. Too crafty! Only problem being Hard-Nipple’s boyfriend is married to an established actress who’s growing increasingly peeved over the clandestine arrangement.

“He’s starting to go out and fly him with him everywhere,” a good friend to the Nicks told yours truly about Hard-Nipple taking the BF a few too many places as of late. “They’re turning up everywhere together, and [the boyfriend's wife] is getting really pissed about it. It’s going too far. It’s only a matter of time before she spills.”

Guess all those pricey little gifties to the wife for borrowing her hubby aren’t as attractive as they once were?

Must say I’m a tad surprised to hear this latest development, as H.-N’.s always been one of the best in the Biz about keeping his preferred love life on the down-low. And now that it’s flyin’ high, guess a tabloid revelation is only seconds away from takeoff!

And It Ain’t: John Travolta, David Beckham, Jerry O’Connell**


From IW: Holee sh*t! And folks are saying that the other one is Tom Cruise...

**source: ted casablanca

This N' That...

Hey all...I am free from a contract gig that was taking up an immense space of my time and energy...but hallelujah, I free! Which in turn, leaves me more time for my precious blog--aren't you lucky? lol

How about a little movie news, yes?

First up, I don't know what to make of Isaiah Washington. He was kicked out of his house for non-payment of rent. He was on Grey's Anatomy for a few years, wasn't he? What do these folks do with all of those juicy dollars? Damn. But things are looking up for him--he is doing a biopic on the life of Lou Rawls, which I think is wonderful, cause I never felt Lou received his proper due. I think Isaiah is a very interesting choice.


What isn't interesting to anyone, apparently, is the halted biopic of Lionel Ritchie, who was deemed too boring. Dang! He must have had a couple of interesting moments leading The Commodores and getting a karate chop beat-down on his ass by his wife. I'd like to see that.



Ntozake Shange’s play, “For Colored Girls Who Considered Suicide …” is being made into a film. I saw this play when I was a little girl, and don't really remember it, so I am looking forward to it. The film also has a Black female director, Nzingha Stewart. Kudos!


In YT cinema news, I saw "A Haunting In Connecticut", please don't ask why. Perfectly awful, of course. What is even more awful and disturbing is a big screen "3 Stooges" movie with...wait for it.....Sean Penn as Larry (?!), Jim Carrey as Curly (not a stretch), and Benecio Del Toro as Moe (??!!) I mean, really, WTF! This idea just makes me sad inside, especially the part about Sean Penn...just one more in the long line of making stupid choices after winning an Oscar.


Speaking of sad, King Latifah will be in yet another romantic comedy, "Just Wright". **sigh**



I received a note from the head of the Wichita NAACP, Kevin Myles. He said:

Hey Sis, You may want to check this out... The NAACP is asking people to rate the 100 most influential films of the last century. As I was looking through the nominees it was exciting just to go back and watch the trailers from all of my favorites from the last 40 years... Here's a link; check it out: http: / / www. wichitanaacpblog. com/ 2009/ 03/ naacp-top-100-films- of-century-1909_17. html


Check it out folkses, and vote as you see fit. I want to give some Oaktown love to filmmaker Mateen O. Kemet, whose work I will be following closely. He was on the series "On The Lot" and has this lovely trailer for a film he's working on, called "Oakland B Mine". Let me know what you think:




And finally, check me and my comrades out on last night's Obenson Report podcast. It was a bloggers roundtable on what else? Black Cinema. I joined Daryle Lockhart at "The Black Box Office", my beloved Sergio from Ebony/Jet, Solshine from "Reel Artsy", and of course Tambay Obenson. If you'd like to hear us chop it up, click HERE.



Thanks to the wonderful Issa Rae for some of these tidbits...

Things That Make Me Laugh....

--Willona Woods aka Mary J. Blige in Tyler Perry's "I Can Do Bad By Myself"

--Aunt Jemima's Revenge

--This blog based wholly on loony-tune blogger Sandra Rose (thanks sergio) lovingly referred to as "Crusty": http://sandraroseisahater.blogspot.com/

--This unfortunate trailer for the low budget, not even DVD worthy movie "Peaches" (thanks sergio):




--"Others" who wander onto this blog by some happenstance and say: "You and everyone on this blog are a bunch of racists!" And then proceed to break down how "inferior" we are in so many ways, and how we are just a bunch of ignorant apes, monkeys, or some other variance of primate. Folks that are also obviously completely and blissfully unaware of the term and meaning of "irony".

Obama Fingers. With curry dip. In front of the Golden Gate Bridge. Just why?

7 Questions With Black & Sexy Director Dennis Dortch...

There is one thing that really burns me, and that is folks that put down or discourage the dreams and aspirations of others. There is nothing more disheartening than sharing your thoughts and ideas with someone, only to be told that they are ridiculous and unattainable. To which I say this: Completely consider the source: A) Is this a person you would gladly trade lives with? OR B) Does this person lead a life that you admire and/or respect? If the answer is no, grains of salt, my friends, grains of salt.

One of my favorite things to do on this blog is to interview those I find interesting. The people interviewed here wholly deserve the attention and accolades they receive, as they are independent thinkers, free from the constraints of the conventional world. They learn from mistakes and experiences, and, most importantly, they are willing to share what they've learned with others. They are hustlers and sages, and I learn amazing life lessons and get inspired by each one of them; I hope you do too. Here is the latest--"A Good Day To Be Black and Sexy" director Dennis Dortch, a definite welcome addition to the halls of the new Black Renaissance in film...check it.

Question #1

The landscape is so barren on Black love/sexual situations in movies. I know you have been asked this many times over, but what gave you the idea to make this film? Who or what has been your inspiration in filmmaking? (That is really two questions--I'm cheating a bit)

Life. Real life. Our daily pursuit for happiness in love and sex drives and affects most of our decisions in life. We are living it everyday. These are basic human needs that find our white counterparts with oogles of quirky movies on the subject. When it comes to us, suddenly it's different even though we are all human beings with the same desires and needs. When you do see us in any sexual situation in a movie (especially a mixed cast movie) - we are either raping, overly sexually charged, or getting no ass whatsoever. Nothing but the extremes and nothing in between. Keep in mind that anytime you put a black person on the screen (esp. a black man), whatever they are doing or portraying holds much more weight. Put a gun in their hand, show them dead, show them running from the law, in court, or playing the President of the US or God, or Jesus, or simply having sex, it's suddenly a little bit heavier. Where our white male counterpart is just doing something as an action, the black counterpart becomes that *something* they are doing.

I think the second part of that is black folks are kinda prudish. I mean the West is sort of prudish overall compared to our European counterparts, but we all love sex but we just don't want people to know we love it. That's why the porn industry is booming. It's all about secrecy, so it carries over to the big screen and the lack of content on the subject. I've been asked plenty of times, why would I want to make a film just about this stuff? Like a porno or something. This usually comes from a woman. Deep inside, I'm thinking this person is probably a freak in bed, but a lady in the streets. Simply, I wanted to just get at the things we are doing and feeling today and tomorrow, and the next day in a realistic presentation.

To answer the second part of your question, it's almost the same answer... Life. Real life. Women are an inspiration especially. Sometimes I just want to talk to you. And film is an extravagant way to communicate. You ever had an argument with your significant other and you wish a third party was present so that they could validate your point of view or judge who is right or wrong in this situation? Cause you feel the other person is clearly not listening to reason. You just want someone fair and non-biased to call it. Making a film is like creating that opportunity for a third party assessment. I'm simply telling on someone, including myself.


Question #2

The visuals were wonderful in the film, and the performances from the actors are truly on point--very natural and affecting. What is your primary focus when you direct a film? What emotions and thoughts are you trying to elicit from the audience?

My primary focus is sensuality and naturalness. To capture those fleeting real moments in life that we all have experienced but never have captured on film. The actors are bringing a piece of themselves to the set. We discuss their own experiences related to the subject and pull from there. My cinematographer Brian Ali-Harding is by heart a documentary filmmaker. His style is pure cinéma vérité. We have been making films together since college focusing on real human emotion and moments not artificial movie moments and over-dramatic fake movie emotions. You put these two factors together and like peanut butter and chocolate, you got black and sexy.

My goal for the audience was to create some connectivity. If you watch the film and identified with something that's happening on the screen either by knowing this person in real life or applying a past experience you, yourself had, it feels real. You then feel connected.

Question #3

The title of your film "A Good Day To Be Black And Sexy" was sure to stir up attention. Was the intention to make people take strong notice? Were you pressured to change the name by anyone?

Yes, I wanted the marketing of the film built in to the title and live on beyond it. It was always a brand to me. More than one film with many spin-offs and connected lifestyle products (clothing, music, etc.).

Yes and no to your second question. Someone very close to the film tried to convince me to change the stories to match what they perceived the title to mean.


Question #4

You made some unknown casting choices and filmed on a limited budget, and your film turned out to be one of the most interesting pieces I've seen for some time. As advice to some of the filmmakers who read this blog, how does one get a feel that they are moving in the right direction on a project? How does one garner support from those inside the film and outside of it?

The first question is what is the definition of the right direction? For me it is when something affects you or intrigues you. You have to be your own guinea pig and be affected before it can transfer to someone else. Trust yourself and your instincts and the people who are supposed to be attracted to your project will find it and support it. It's just energy and there is not trick in it. Just truth and honesty.

To go further, don't pay attention to the haters. There will be a lot of them. It's not that they mean you direct harm, but they have so much self doubt in themselves, and misery loves company. I was told that I was crazy to take the money out of my house to finance this feature. I was told that my script was a porno and no one would want to see this. I was told that no company would want to distribute a "black art film." Those types of films are reserved for white people. If you have a strong vision and it truly makes you excited just thinking about it, then there is a good chance that excitement will transfer to someone else watching the film that you made from that inspiration. Everybody may not like your film, but your job is not to please everyone. That is an elusive goal.(from iw--amen!)

As far as gaining support, just do your thing. Most people just talk, very few actually do. It's not easy. It's takes a tremendous amount of focus, perseverance, and unwavering faith. Making a film and expecting a company to buy it and in turn people pay to watch it is not a solid business plan. It's crazy actually. So, when someone does it and breaks through, the law of attraction takes over and the support trickles in. It's still a struggle after you initially get that attention. Support is a fickle thing, trust me. It's really up to you to build on it in a timely manner.


Question #5

A subject that comes up here quite often is the dissatisfaction with what "The Hollywood Machine" is producing in the way of Black Cinema. What, in your opinion, can the public at large do to change things? (Everyone gets asked this question, btw)

If we collectively stop supporting the bullshit, the bullshit will disappear. It's about natural selection. Hollywood is not against making money any way they can. But really, you have to ask yourself, why would white people collectively give a damn about what we want as black folks? They are too busy trying to get what they want. Our wants and needs are our problem. And we dictate what gets put out there every time we spend money on it.


Question #6

Tell us what projects you are working on now. Anything we can look forward to in the future?

The big project launching next month is what we are calling Black & Sexy TV. An online portal for black content from my team. The first out the gate is a spin-off web series from the film called BLACK & SEXY B-SIDES. We are basically expanding on the world and characters created in the film in 2-6 minute episodes online. Plus we are creating the sequel to the film tentatively called A GOOD DAY TO BE BLACK & SEXY: NEW YORK CITY.

Outside of Black & Sexy, I have a feature I'm currently writing that I'm real quiet on, but I'm real excited about. That's why I'm not saying anything really. You gotta stuff all that excitement and desired to blurt out the story into the script.


Question #7

Any thoughts or advice you would like to leave for the readers?

I guess this would go to the filmmakers...Distribution. Most filmmakers (including myself) look at obtaining distribution as the end-all and be-all goal. But that's really just the beginning. And we spend a lot of time stressing on the things that don't even matter in the end, when the real important things have slipped past us a long time ago. The great thing about making your own film from your own money is you have all the control. Suddenly when you get distribution, you see most of that control taken away. The biggest beef a filmmaker will have is how his/her film is marketed. And really it's just a divide between your goals and your distributor's goals. If you can identify what their true goal is, then you can better manage your expectations if you decide to sign with them. And you need to figure out what it is you want and how that fits in the current climate of the film industry. I stumbled upon a quote in a magazine on an airplane trip one day that said it all: "You don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate."


From IW: "You don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate." Truer words were never spoken, for reals! A phrase to live by folkses, and completely consider the source. Below is the new trailer for "A Good Day To Be Black and Sexy"--please add to your Netflix cue or get out to your nearest video store and support our new Renaissance....

This N' That

I have just come out of a "Throwback Heaven" stupor. TV One is just all about the Black Cinema, and today I watched the Blaxploitation flix "Three The Hard Way" and "Friday Foster". I have been meaning to write about the evolution of Pam Grier for some time, as she was a singularly awful actress back in the day and has come to something a lot more substantial. But what did that matter in the 70's when you looked like Pocahontas with perfect clear skin, white teeth, a small waist and perfect big tits (all before the boon of plastic surgery)? Not a lot, I tell ya, and not too much has changed in 3 decades. I will do a proper post eventually, as she is the gatekeeper of this blog. Here is the trailer:



The same with "Three The Hard Way". I'm sure at the time this was an explosive movie of Black Power and puttin' foot to ass on "the man", but now one is just bemused. And though it was directed by one of my faves, Gordon Parks Jr., the plot and actions scenes are wholly ridiculous at best. It is the story of some Aryan/Nazi power group that has invented some type of poison that kills only Negroes. It looks like Kool-Aid, so I guess that was smart. The target cities? D.C., Detroit, and Los Angeles and their water supply. All they needed was NY and Oakland and 99% of the Black population would have been goners.

Jim Brown stomping around saying he has to find "his woman" (who the bad guys kidnapped) seems positively caveman and archaic now, as well as Jim Kelly mowing down a whole police force that have guns by just shouting "OU-EEE!" and karate chopping and kicking. I really didn't pay attention to how they were taking everyone out with simple handguns, while the bad guys outnumbered them 10 to one and had machine guns, cause I was hypnotized by Fred Williamson's ass. I could eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner on that thing...haha!


Check out TV One tomorrow. Though they showed the hot (but watchable) garbage that is "Trois 2, Pandora's Box" today, tomorrow they have Maya Angelou's "Sister, Sister", starring Diahann Carroll ("Claudine)", Rosalind Cash ("Uptown Saturday Night"), and Irene Cara ("Fame") as sisters dealing with interfighting, jealousies, and baggage. Also offered tomorrow is "Funny Valentines" starring what seem to be favorites of this blog's readers, Alfre Woodard and Loretta Divine. It is directed by Julie Dash, who also directed the wonderful "Daughters of the Dust", and is described as this : "A woman returns to her home town to sort out her troubled marriage and finds new happiness in the rekindling of a broken friendship with her cousin."


Now on to a few things. Have any of you picked up on the podcasts over at Tambay's "Obenson Report"? Interesting discussions going on over there on Black Cinema--the last one featured up and coming director Pete Chatmon. Did you know that Jackie Robinson was in the 761st battalion, which is the subject of one of Chatmon's film? Jackie is an icon of inspiration for reals, for reals. Go on over to his blog and click on the links to listen.


Speaking of new-jack directors, Dennis Dortch (whose interview with me will be up in a few days) has a site up that consists of his Black & Sexy merchandise...tees, boy shorts, etc. are to be had, along with the amazing soundtrack from the film. Get you a piece my Black and sexy readers (you YT's too!, haha). Click HERE to see his stuff.


Are we ready for a new generation of Wayons? Hmmm...I dunno, as this generation is still grating the nerves a bit---i.e. "Dance Flick". Saw this on Black Film Academy:

'The prolific Wayans clan has begun to turn out a second generation of multihyphenate comic performers. UTA has just signed Damien Dante Wayans — nephew of filmmaker Keenen Ivory (”White Chicks”) — for representation in all areas, and Craig and Damon Jr. are set to co-star in Damien’s directing debut, “Dance Flick,” a Paramount comedy to be released May 22.

Damien is a co-writer (along with Craig, Keenen, Shawn and Marlon) and executive producer of the movie as well. Older-generation siblings Shawn, Marlon, Kim and Keenen all appear in the film.'

From IW: Alrighty then. At least the genes aren't bad in the looks department in that family....can't speak on the comedic one tho.


Have seen this trailer floating around the blogs---it is a documentary of the life of Mike Tyson. His life really needs to be a straight up soap opera, for real. I wonder if Jamie Foxx is still going to play him in a biopic as was rumored last year? Here is the trailer:




There seems to be an interest in things Henry Lennix these days. I never paid that much attention, one way or the other. I remember him as being very low key in the "The Five Heartbeats" and not much else. But based on the posts and comments on "Must Love Movies" ruminations "Roger Guenveur Smith vs. Harry Lennix" and "The Black Snob" who writes "I Suffer for Harry Lennix's Art" (and also turns it into an absolutely perfect commentary on the state of Black Hollywood and it's actors--to read click HERE), he definitely has a fanbase. Maybe the light skin-ded dudes are making a comeback. Hollywood, are you listening? Of course you aren't.



And a very, very heart felt thanks the beautiful Naturally Sophia (ATLians stand up!) , and the only person that I know that watches more movies than me, Reel Whore (I love his blog). They awarded me with the Kreativ Blog Award and The Dardos Award, respectively . The Dardos Award is given for "cultural, literary, and personal values in the form of creative and original writing. These stamps were created with the intention of promoting fraternization between bloggers, a way of showing appreciation and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web". Of course you are supposed to give these awards to others, but....yes...I'm slacking again. What I can say is that when I get these, they positively make my day; there is nothing quite as great as being recognized by your blogging peers---Thank You So Much!!!




PS: Thanks to all of those who have started following my blog in the past few days...don't think I haven't noticed and read your blogs as well :-)

Rainy Day MMM (Mini Movie Marathon)

The rain has finally broken here in the Bay, but it is still grey and bleak. I've been holed up like a winter bear in hibernation, as I completely detest rain. Honestly, I would rather be in snow. It was so bad that earlier in the week I had tickets to see Raphael Saadiq at the Fillmore, and didn't even go, and I always see Raphael. Is it possible to look cute in the pouring rain? I think not, unless you have an entourage like Kimora Lee Simmons.


Besides the weather, one thing I miss about LA. is the diversity, and the randomness of the celebrities I would spot. A favorite game I would play while waiting in the horrid Sunset Strip traffic from work was "spot that random celebrity". It would veer off in all different directions; Jessica Biel, Alfonso Robeiro, Ryan Reynolds, Vanessa Bell Calloway, the dude from Korn (don't ask me how I knew that), The Empress Of Lucite (my fellow D-Listed readers know that one). While watching the movie "Cover" over the weekend, it made me almost feel like I was playing that game. More on the later. And yes, I am still a bit grouchy, and the following Black Cinema films did nothing to help.

Starting off my MMM were several just as random YT films--"Final Analysis", a thriller that was made when Richard Gere was still semi-hot*, "The Prime Gig" a sleep inducing movie about a big ticket telemarketing scam starring Vince Vaughn, when he was still semi-hot*, and a film that I highly recommend called "Dogtown and Z-Boys", which is a semi-documentary with great footage about the very beginning of the skateboard movement in Santa Monica, CA. Don't confuse it with the weak, fictionalized, commercial version "The Lords Of Dogtown". "Z-Town" made a very pedestrian subject extremely engrossing, and I wear my Vans a little prouder now (for those who don't know, Vans are a sneaker that first became popular by being favored by the surfer and skateboarding cultures in L.A.).

But I seriously digress...on to Black Cinema, yes?


The first one I saw was a perfectly awful movie called "The Last Stand". You watch the strangest things when you can't get back to sleep...is there anyone more unlikeable than Guy Torry? Oh yes, Kevin Hart, who also happened to be in the film. Just grand.

The "movie" premise was about 4 Black comedians trying to rise to fame, overcoming the various challenges in their personal lives. The challenges are wholly contrived, as if they were ripped from the pages of "How To Write Your First Screenplay 101". The guy just out of jail struggling with credibility in the civilian world, the woman abused by her mom's boyfriend, the dude with the unsupportive wife who tells him he's living a pipe dream...ho-hum. Kevin Hart and a very loud Anthony Anderson are secondary characters. Also involved is the strange calamity that is Red Grant (who I wrote about HERE), always a sure sign that you are involved in a z-grade movie.

Then there is Guy Torry as the unfunny comic (the only part of the film that rang true), who runs away from his family life to prove to Daddy he can make it. Oh, and he has a drinking and drug problem that causes him to self-destruct. Why does Guy Torry get more work than Joe Torry? Guy plays the exact same character, the exact same way, in everything I see him in. Never engaging, never funny, always laughing at his own jokes, and never easy on the eyes. And Russ Parr (who "wrote" and directed)? I think dude might seriously want to stick to radio.

So--Kevin Hart, Guy Torry, generic plot, and some arbitrary secondary story about how one of the comedians jumped to their death. The film begins with that, and the body is covered with a sheet. It keeps flashing back to the crime scene throughout the film, and we are supposed to guess who it is. The only problem? The first story is so weak you don't give a flying fig.

Not even worth buying at the barber shop from Hustle Man. Here is the trailer, which makes it look much better than it actually is, believe it or not:





The next is "Cover". Hmmm. I passed on this film at a Black film festival when I had to choose between it and "Three Could Play That Game". Can you believe I chose the latter? Even more so, can you believe I attended a festival that would show it as a selection?

I really wanted to like this film, as I have always been a big fan of Bill Duke, the director. But he is definitely starting to get the telephoto side-eye from me. Between this and "Not Easily Broken" I think he might be paying for his children's Ivy League education or something. Surely a man of his caliber can create his own projects? Or are these films something he actually wanted to do?

This isn't a spoiler, as all of the film descriptions and publicity tell ahead of time what the film is about. It is about a couple who moves from Atlanta to Philly, the husband being some sort of successful doctor. Many of his long time friends are there, all of them extremely shady and suspicious. The husband is hiding a secret, which we all know 10 miles before the clueless wife--he is on the "down-low". Because there is no mystery, and the "twist" is so obvious, you get fed up with the build-up. "Just get to it already!" you want to yell, waiting for the supposed big reveal.

Instead, I busied myself by looking at the most random cast since....ummm....well, ever. Though you may be mildly surprised at who's in it, you definitely won't be at their performances.


Roger Guenveur Smith: weird, creepy, and wild eyed as usual

Paula Jai Parker: ho'n it up and acting crazy, as usual

Patti LaBelle: sassy and for real gal not takin' any mess, as usual

Clifton Davis Junior: bland and boring, as usual

Leon: preening, arrogant, vain, and self-involved, as usual

Vivica Fox: plays the "mmm-hmmm, girlfriend!" role, lip twisted and with one eyebrow raised, as usual

Louis Gossett, Jr.: serious and no-nonsense, as usual

Mya: contributing as much to this movie as she does to the music industry.

Fun fact: the preacher's wife from the Richard Pryor classic "Which Way Is Up?" is in it, and she is still pretty funny. At least I think it was her.

Besides the tired theme of "forgiveness", the main problem is with one half of the leads. Aunjanue Ellis plays the wife, and she does the best she can with what she has. She is accused of murdering Leon, the husband's HIV positive lover, which is the other mystery in the plot. She is the only reason this film has any credibility at all, and I really wish she would get a lot more work...say substituting her for everything Gabrielle Union is in. She is also from San Francisco, a big plus in my eyes. It is Razaaq Adoti who plays the husband, Dutch Maas, that is the bad apple that spreads to the rest of the film. He is supposed to be the object of affection for at least four people in this film, yet he is not very good-looking, and is completely charm and charisma free. He didn't even seem that bright. I think he won this part on a bet, as even in the most dramatic scenes in the film--crying, fighting, scared, whatever--he is massively and totally unbelievable.


He was in another film that I saw on another mini movie marathon a while back, "Haven", with Anthony Mackie and Zoe Saldana. Even though that film wasn't that great, he did pretty well in that one, so I guess there's hope for him in the future. Ms. Invisible says rent this one when they are out of everything else at the video store. Here is the trailer--it takes a second to start:





And last (and least) is "Madea Goes To Jail". Ummm....yeeaaahhhh.....you're gonna have to read about that elsewhere, as I don't want to dedicate another drop of my precious posting space to that mess of a movie. Guess this picture's from the play:



So there you have it. Basically nothing to see here folks. Except "Dogtown and Z-Boys". I might have some movie news later, as I'm in a writin' mood today.




*i say semi-hot, cause i was never that attracted to these guys in the first place

F*ckery All Around Me...

I know my posting has been spotty. The truth is, I've finished a transition back to the Bay Area to be closer to my parents, and I miss L.A. terribly...I will probably have to have residences in both places to keep everyone happy, the main person being me.

The weather has been atrocious in the Bay; cold, rainy, windy--the kind of weather that puts me in a deep, grouchy funk, as I am very, very much a sunshine person. I think my blogging has been affected as well...but fear not--I have come out of my cave for a moment to comment on some of the f*ckery that keeps slapping me in the face, haha.


How can I not say anything about the severe and unmitigated f*ckery that is Samuel Jackson? After being the super-overexposed version of Beyonce in the movie biz, he seems to want to dare us to hate him. He has signed on to do 9, yes nine, yes IX more pictures as the character Nick Fury. Is there anyone in life we want to see that much? I would saw off someone's foot to get close to Dwayne The Rock Johnson, but even I wouldn't want to see him in nine freaking pictures playing the same character. Just boo!


Also on my grouch radar is Tyler Perry. I said to myself that I wasn't going to dedicate anymore space to his projects except for straight reportage, but gawtdayum, a movie version of "I Can Do Bad All By Myself"? What next--Stepin Fetchit on Parade? I mean, that play was all sorts of funny, but it puts the chitlin', fatback, and hog maws in chitlin' circuit.


Speaking of chitlins, for some crazy Black History f*ckery, check out Thembi's post on white (and Black) America's tributes to our so-called history and tastes. True WTF?!? shenanigans if you ever saw it!


I kept silent about Slickback's stupid statement about the Chris Brown/Rihanna debacle (my advice still stands to only speak through a publicist, Terrence), and it is even more stupid as he was arrested for the exact same thing a few years back.

But what is this that Chris Brown was to star with Fantasia as Harpo in the Washington D.C. stage play version of "The Color Purple" (which he has been dropped from)? Remember this line? "You told Harpo to beat me!" Ummmm...ironeeeee....


Just setting my grouch/disgust factor off the charts is Marlon Jackson's complete lunacy about building a slavery theme park, complete with golf courses, spas, etc., coupled with a Jackson family museum. How much do we really know about Marlon? I mean he has never really said much before....how do we know he might not have some mild form of autism or something like that? All signs point to it with an idea so stupid I can dedicate 3 posts to it.


And finally, just the type of f*ckery that wears one to the bone--why, Whoopi, why?


Not that her wardrobe of choice should be any surprise. Let's take a look at some of her other Oscars dress choices, yes?





Clearly this woman has never been introduced to, or been within a 50 mile radius of a stylist, ever.


Okay, rants over. Just to balance out my mid-winter crotchetiness is some good news. I will be starting a sort of West Coast version of Reelblack, showing screenings of yet to be released independant and rarely seen throwback films, along with talks with actors, directors, etc. this summer called "Black Cinema At Large". Those of you in the Bay are very welcome to hang with yours truly. Each event will be posted on this blog so stay tuned, and stay blessed :-)

Random Movie News....

Even tho the Oscars annoy the beejesus out of me, I wouldn't be a proper film blog without at least mentioning it, and the two Black actresses nominated, Taraji P. Henson and Viola Davis. One, I've never been a fan of and her tired, overacting style, and the other--well let's just say I saw her on a talk show recently and found her to be wonderful; intelligent, humorous---a serious actress worthy of nomination and more high profile roles. I'll let you guess which is which.

Sergio televised his Oscar predictions below. I have none, cause if it has nothing to do with Mickey Rourke or "The Wrestler" I really don't have much to say on it. Even the clothes don't interest me this year. Here is Sergio--check him out:





Did you know John Singleton directed the Oscar promos this year? I guess he might as well be directin' somethin', cause as of late, it sho ain't movies. What's up, John? And yes, that is Taraji with him in the picture above. What she is wearing I can't even venture to guess...


Martin Lawrence will be starring in a kind of reverse "Coming To America". No title yet, but the plot is described as this:

'The film centers on a working-class man from Queens who discovers he is heir to the throne of an African country and travels there to claim his birthright'.

From IW: Martin is obviously not interested in breaking new ground, but I ain't mad, that mortgage is staying paid. And at least it's not what I blogged about a couple years ago--a big screen remake of his TV show "Martin". Someone must have finally woken up and put the brakes on that wonderful (not) idea.


Happy Birthday to Danny Glover's Robey Theatre company, turning 15 this year. Robey "Is a professional theater dedicated to developing and presenting plays that raise the social consciousness of audiences with work that explores the global Black Experience."

All my folkses in the L.A. area, please try to support Danny and his endeavors. He never gets enough props for dedicating himself to our art and community for decades, imho.


Barry Michael Cooper, writer of New Jack City among other things, who I interviewed for this blog, let me know that he has a new film, "Blood On The Wall$", which you can view in the form of 21 webisodes....perfect viewing while the boss is not looking at work! lol

Make sure you scroll down to see all of the webisodes...you can begin watching this gritty drama HERE.


This is old news now, but Halle Berry might finally do something interesting, while maybe proving once and for all that she actually has acting talent:

'Halle Berry has become attached to star in the Eunetta Boone-scripted film, "Who Is Doris Payne," based on real events. Berry will star as the title character, Doris Payne, an international jewel thief whose career spanned five decades.'

From IW: This is the story of a Black woman who stole fine jewels for decades, at a time when just being Black and in a store that sold them was cause for intense suspicion. The plot sounds fabulous--I hope Halle can pull it off. For a great post related to this film, click HERE for Obenson's thoughts.


Did you know that Preston Whitmore has been financing up and coming filmmakers? One of the films has made it to BET:

'BET has acquired broadcast rights to"Dough Boys," the debut film from Preston Whitmore's Give Back Raise Up Program wherein he finances and produces low budget pictures to give newcomers in front and behind the camera an opportunity to showcase their talent. BET will air the film in May. Paramount Home Video will distribute the DVD.'

From IW: Nice. And speaking of newcomers, received this in my email:

"Good afternoon! My name is Princeton Holt, and I decided to contact you humbly and see if you would at least be interested in seeing my first feature, "Cookies & Cream".

Cookies & Cream is a character piece about a racially mixed single mother, who maintains an adult entertainment job in order to take care of her daughter and herself. The film has seemed to make male audiences feel a bit helpless, which I think has a lot to do with a subtle sexism in the sense that love from a man alone is not enough to dictate this female character's destiny, which I think has been unsettling to several male viewers, although the overall reception from men has been favorable. I would be very interested in hearing a female reaction to this subject.

Again, I really appreciate what you are doing; it is necessary for the survival of true art films about our past, present and future generations. Thank you for your work, as well as your time and consideration. "

From IW: Hmmmm.....it was shown at "The Sexy International Film Festival" (whatever that is), so at the very least, it must be sexy, haha. Here is the teaser:




Last but not least, I really will be reviewing Diary Of A Tired Black Man later today. I was going to do it last weekend, but it really wasn't Valentine's Day fodder. I have to admit, I've been watching and rewatching a lot of stuff on TV lately....did anyone catch the mini movie marathon on TV One yesterday? "Double Take "(blech) with Eddie Griffin, "Hollywood Shuffle", and a low budget independent film called "Traci Townsend" which involves a reporter (Jazsmin Lewis) examining her failed relationships. The movie is trite, and as as I've said before Jazsmin Lewis' acting skills seem to be limited to her innumerable hairstyles, but it is a good segue to my review later. **sigh** A lot of Black male/female relationships seem to be on permanent "fail" lately.....more on that later....



Oh sh*t! I almost posted this without putting this in (thanks sergio). There is an on-line petition against Sasha Fierce playing Angela Davis. For those commenters on my last post, and for the lurkers who also feel that even the mere thought is beyond ridiculous, you can click and sign HERE.

Dis N' Dat....

Yeah, I know, spotty posting. What can I say? If I was paid to blog in a real way, I'd blog every day...I just don't have the wherewithal like someone like The Black Snob...I'm a slacker and semi-proud of it!

For terrific movie news, join Tambay Obenson at the "Obenson Report", which had a veeery interesting dustup on Black Film Festivals HERE (be sure to read the comments), or hop on over to the great Black Cinema blog "Black Film Academy" which also faithfully lists calls for submission for filmmakers and screenwriters.

Onward....

Some of this you probably heard already, but you know I must always add my two cents.

Y'all know how I feel about Bey, so there is nothing more I can add to that. But Beyonce as Angela Davis? Just plain wrong. And Stupid with a capital "S".

What I do want to see is Wesley as James Brown in Spike's bio-pic. Me no likey Mr. Snipes for the past few years, but I am extremely intrigued to see what he and Spike will come with.

A friend of a friend of mine Cheo Hodari Coker, who wrote "Notorious", is now penning the bio-pic for Run DMC. Hmmm...all I know is that going to Stanford University seems to open a lot of doors, no matter what you choose to do in life.

This just in from Planet Duh: Will Smith is now officially the most valuable and highest paid actor in the business, in the world. Who woulda thunk?

Saw this clip of Gabourey Sidibe's audition for the movie"Push", by Lee Daniels, and thought it was interesting. What I don't find interesting, however, is that the film is being fought over by Lionsgate and the infamous Weinsteins. Just give it to Lionsgate you greedy fuckers and let us see a decent Black film for once!



I have been on deck to interview one of the film's producers and Lee's partner, Lisa Cortes, for some time now...I guess I'll have to wait for the final verdict to do it.

Am trying to stay out of the Rihanna/Chris Brown fray, but there is a lot of personal emotional involvement on the part of the general public. Should women be allowed to go ballistic on men with no consequences? How many breaks do you get being famous, even beating someone with the whole world watching? And so on. All I know is that this is just another sad case in Black male/female relationships, where there is already plenty of anger on both sides. Speaking of which, I will be reviewing "Diary Of A Tired Black Man" this weekend.



And speaking of relationships, lovely reader Ms. Lady Deborah (email me your address, girl) wins a copy of "A Good Day To Be Black And Sexy" (I will be interviewing the Director Dennis Dortch very soon so stay tuned). She thought the best Black Cinema love scene was Angela Bassett and Wesley Snipes love scene just holding each other all night after meeting in a hotel was terrifically romantic. She said: "When I think of what scene in a movie provided me with a realistic satisfying moment-it was in Waiting to Exhale. When Wesley and Angie met, cuddled and did not have sex. I believe that came across that way because the real need they had at that moment was being met."

I would tend to agree that sometimes the best sex is sexless. On second thought, maybe just rough and dirty talk sex. Ummm...Ms. Invisible will investigate and report back, haha!


Speaking of Angela Bassett, saw this on Obenson's blog:

Angela Bassett will be stepping behind the camera for the very first time, as director of a film based on a book by Percival Everett called Erasure, stating, "I always thought that I had a third eye, but it's frightening and I always wonder if I can pull it off... It's a good story. I've had opportunities in the past to direct smaller, independent movies and television shows. I never want to do it just for the heck of it."

Erasure has been sitting in my ever-growing pile of books to read for about a year now. It's about an African-American writer who "overcomes" his intellectual tendency to "write white" and ends up penning a parody of ghetto fiction that becomes a huge commercial and literary success.

From IW: Sounds great to me, with a tad of "Bamboozled" in it, it seems....now maybe Angie can give that strong jaw a rest for a while, lol.




thanks black market index and c&d for the bey, wesley pix

Movie Review: Black, Sexy, Love--- Finally!

It has been discussed on this blog several times how Black sex/love/intimacy is rarely shown in films, especially in a realistic way.... really maybe not since the Blaxploitation of the 70's. Well, the film I am reviewing in this post certainly leaves those longings in the dust.

Had the pleasure of seeing "A Good Day To Be Black And Sexy", and wowee. I. Freaking. Loved. It. I don't even know where to start.

It is a series of vignettes that show the perils and beauty of love and sex with several Black couples; the adulterous situation, the selfish lover, the love relationship that hits you out of the blue.

It opened with an "O" face shot, and a scene I wasn't too crazy about called "Reciprocity", in which a woman gets hers (downtown ifyaknowwhatimean) and doesn't want to reciprocate. "Oh boy, here we go", I thought, rapidly losing interest and thinking that this must be a typical, low budget outlook on Black male/female relationships...but after that--just wow. The next story, called "Her Man", involves a couple--the man being married, and the woman--being the mistress--making the mistake of starting to care too much, and making the inevitable demand for him to spend more time with her and being jealous of wifey. It is so real, so natural, and rang so true you it makes you think "damn, they really got this". It made me super curious to see the rest....and no matter who you are, you will find a strong affinity for at least one of these vignettes.

Some of the movie shows the beautiful, powerful side of Black love, some of it shows the ugliness, which is just as powerful, sometimes even more so if you let it be so. It is intelligent, humorous, and yes, sexy and erotic. Sometimes it was so sexy that it made Ms. Invisible hot in her seat, but I won't go much further into detail as sometimes Poppy Invisible, my father, peeks in here once in a while. My favorite is the story "Tonight, Part II", and I immediately had an hour long crush on both the male and female leads. It was absolutely affecting in it's magnetism...it shows how the power of silent, unknown attraction can be so mighty in it's power and emotion, it just makes all logic go out the window. You are completely out of your realm and comfort zone, but you are almost Zen in your focus that all you want is this person, and nothing else is really as important.

It made me remember one comedian, who I was meeting for the first time to set up a styling session, was at a radio station giving an interview. While I was sitting there in reception listening to him talk, I found myself becoming immensely attracted to him, I don't even know why. He looked out of the glass a couple times, but nothing seemed to register on his face--I didn't even think that he saw me. When the interview was over, he promptly came out, walked straight over and laid his body on the back of the sofa I was sitting on, and just started touching my neck and arm, real soft. In a normal situation that would have completely freaked me out, but at that time it felt like he should be doing it--and he did it before he even said hello to me.


"Tonight, Part II" is a story like that, and you drink in all of it with all of your senses. Director Dennis Dortch has one hell of an amazing eye for just beautifully sensual shots, focus, and colors that make you just feel it in your bones. Even the sound of beads clicking in someone's cornrows, or the way someone's t-shirt fits looks/sounds/feels sexy. You smell the leather in the seats of someone's car, feel the texture of the sheets on the bed. Even the music is completely on point. The characters were all amazing, in natural acting ability and to look at. I just hate when some people say "oh, they're light, or have good hair, or whatever else, so they must be 'mixed'". Black people are the most diverse in looks on earth, sometimes even in the same family, and Dortch shows us in every shade, color, and hair texture, which I loved. The girl in "Tonight", Mylika Davis, was particularly beautiful to me; young, petite, with a perfect jewel of a dark brown face. Her love interest, Jerome Hawkins, just might be my sixth husband :-)


The last vignette "American Boyfriend", focusing on interracial Black and Asian culture, was sort of a weak finish, but is still miles ahead of any Black Cinema I've seen for months. From what I've read, the stories are supposed to take place in Los Angeles, but everything had the look, feel, and flavor of New York to me.

This is a breath of fresh air movie about real Black love and sexual situations, sometimes almost graphic in it's rawness. It opens you up like a flower, and makes you think about past, present, and future love/lovers. Unless you are just the biggest prude ever, once you finish watching this movie you will be ready to smash anybody with a pulse, haha! It was released yesterday on DVD, Ms. Invisible says check it out, stat.




ANNOUNCEMENT: Black Cinema At Large is giving away a bootleg-free DVD copy of "A Good Day To Be Black And Sexy" in a little, bitty contest. Tell me what you think is the sexiest Black Cinema scene ever and why--my favorite will win this wonderful movie (we may have to vote!) just in time for Valentine's day. Leave it in the comments folkses-contest ends Saturday at midnight, PST!

Really, Vivica?

Is there ANYTHING this woman won't do for a check? No one can have this many bills to pay...just damn.


Update: Michael K. from D-Listed says this:

"In the meantime, maybe Vivica can ask one of her Psychic Friends where her damn hairline went!"

LMAO!


UPADATE #2 from Sergio:

NEWSFLASH!

Viv now has important announcement regarding the video:

"After an infomercial video and flyers for her alleged campaign with The Psychic Friends Networks hit the web on Monday, actress Vivica A. Fox contacted BV Buzz exclusively to address the matter.

In a statement that the star of ‘Two Can Play That Game’ and ‘Soul Food’ sent via e-mail late Monday night, she declared: “Vivica A. Fox is no friend of The Psychic Friends Network.” Fox is alleging that the footage circulating online “is using her unauthorized likeness, footage, voice and photographs as an endorsement of their service.” Additionally, the actress is demanding that The Psychic Friends Network “cease and desist immediately” with use of the video and images.

Details about why the video was shot or how the images were obtained by The Psychic Friends Network were not explained. In the early 1990s, The Psychic Friends Network was a telephone psychic service hosted by Dionne Warwick that offered a call-in service where viewers could call psychics for $3.99 a minute. The parent company, Inphomation, took in profits of over $100 million within the first few years of the Network’s operation. In 1998, profits for The Psychic Friends Network had plummeted substantially and the company filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy before ultimately closing."

So I'm confused. Is she saying that she didn't make the video and that somehow they took footage of her from something else and put it into this video

OR...

Is she simply embarassed by all the comments she's been getting about how low her career has slid and is trying to regain some diginity?

What say you all?

This N' That....

I have a lot to talk about, but will only post about a few things, cause I don't wanna spend 3 hours on a post.

Did you know that Idris Elba was joining "The Office"? From Eurweb (thanks Sergio):

"While details are being kept under wraps, NBC did say the actor will play a no-nonsense hire at Dunder Mifflin's corporate office who rankles Scranton branch manager Michael Scott, played by star Steve Carell."

From IW: Considering the unfortunate film choices Mr. Chocolate makes, maybe he should make TV his home. We'll see how he does on the small screen again. Here is the tired poster for "Obsessed":



For those of you that are curious to see "Medicine For Melancholy", a film I reviewed and in addition did an interview with the director, Barry Jenkins, here is some news:

'IFC Films is still working out the details of our theatrical release. We open in New York on January 30. San Francisco, Los Angeles, Detroit and Seattle will follow in February. Check our website in the next couple weeks for details. You can also catch M4M at home with IFC In Theaters (Video on demand) starting Feb. 4.'

From IW: If you've had the blues regarding the state of Black Cinema, you must see this movie. This week I will also be posting about 2 other indie Black films, "Diary Of A Tired Black Man" and "A Good Day To Be Black And Sexy". To read Sergio's reveiw of Medicine For Melancholy from Ebony/Jet.Com click HERE.


I want to get serious for a moment and say a peaceful journey to the founder and director of The San Francisco Black Film Festival, Ave Montague (that's her in the middle in the picture above). She passed away last week. For a very, very, very brief time, I was the Assistant Director of this festival. While Ave faced many personal challenges, she genuinely lived her life trying to give exposure to little known Black Cinema, as well as giving awards and accolades to our established greats. I hope the festival will be able to carry on, as Ave was the festival....I wish it well.


On to some other type of fodder. Here is the trailer for Eddie Murphy's new one...the story is described as this:

"Eddie Murphy stars as a successful financial executive who has more time for his blackberry than his seven-year-old daughter (Yara Shahidi). When he has a crisis of confidence and his career starts going down the drain, however, he finds the solution to all his problems in his daughter's imaginary world."



Sergio said this about the trailer: "maybe I'm getting senile in my old age but this one looks like it might be cute. I recall the original title was Nowhereland and it was shot almost two years ago".

Ms. Invisible says no comment. But that little girl is all kindsa cute.


And finally, thank you ever so much to Ugly Black John who gave me a helping hand award (as well as 6 others). Mine was for helping him to understand Black Cinema...hmmm...UBJ seems pretty smart to me--I don't think he needs my help. By the way, I am curious to know just how Black and ugly this John really is...I have the sneaking suspicion that he's not so very ugly at all, haha :-)

Fuhgeddaboudit.....

Of course I saw many a movie while on my hiatus, a lot of which I'll be talking about over the next few days. One I saw while having a bout of insomnia: "Homie Spumoni".

You're probably like "wha?". It is the story of some Black dude whose Black parents lost him as a baby while vacationing in Italy. He is found by an Italian woman whose husband can't have kids, so she keeps him. Fearing racism in town, they move to America, name him Renaldo and raise him in little Italy, all the while the Black dude thinking he's Italian, but just dark-complexioned. His Black parents find him, starting off by telling him his real name is Leroy--"hilarity" ensues.

Yes, it is just as weird and ridiculous as it sounds. I read about this film a couple years ago, and saw that Whoopie Goldberg and Paul Mooney (!) played the parents, and Tony Rock the brother, so I was pretty curious to see it. I looked for it, but never saw anything from it, so I forgot about it, till the other night.

Donald Faison plays the "homie". Can I say what is the deal with him? He was charming in "Clueless", but after that I can't really decide what to make of him. I can't tell if he might be funny, or is just goofy, or just seems like he never has any direct contact with any other Black folks, ever. What I do know, however, is that in this movie he has a very big and mutating mole above his lip--and in the film sometimes it was covered with make-up, sometimes it was sweating, and sometimes it looked like a roach was chilling under his nose. And me being me, of course I was wholly distracted by it in almost every scene.

Anyhoo, getting past the fact that it is utterly ridiculous that this guy has absolutely no clue that he might be Black, and speaks like a Paulie Walnuts from the deepest part of Brooklyn, this movie kinda made me laugh. Sometimes I have a weakness for flat-out dumb humor, explaining my love for Friday and Friday After Next (NOT to be confused with Next Friday or First Sunday). Homie Spumoni is filled with completely un-PC humor about Asians, Blacks, Italians, and Jews. It was almost like it was written in the 60's by Don Rickles...I laughed when others would probably wince, but it was 4 in the morning, maybe I was punch-drunk.

Jamie Lynn Sigler (Meadow from the Sopranos) plays Faison's newly acquired girlfriend, tho she is Jewish in this film. There is less than zero chemistry between them. He sings and dances (completely entrancing in it's awkwardness), volunteers in an animal shelter, and works in his father's deli until his parents Goldberg and Mooney show up.

I must say, I have never found Whoopie so loose and funny before. It was like she said "I know I'm in a low budget movie, so I'm gonna ack a fool", and she does. There is one flashback that she narrates that was just so silly and hilarious to me, where she explains how they lost Donald in a basket while on the river in Italy while Daddy Mooney was drinkin' wine out of a leather pouch. Too funny!

Anyway, Joey Fatone (!) plays his best friend, Tony Rock as the brother makes attempts to bring Faison to his Blackness (one way of course is to bring him to some niggaratti house party; yeah, that won't scare him away) and Faison has to figure out where his place is in the world--especially after the 2 moms have a knife fight (don't ask).

While I got a few guilty laughs out of this--trust me, this is for insomniac viewing only.


Here is scene with Faison, with an outfit that looks like a reject from Coming To America, and his supposed new dad, Paul Mooney. I have and always will love Paul and his dry, wry humor:




And speaking of Faison, he seems to have an affinity for making dumb stuff. My blogging sis Wanda (and Sergio) sent this trailer over to me, tho I had heard about it weeks ago. It is a movie called "Next Day Air" described as this:

When a misguided UPS driver inadvertently delivers a package containing concealed bricks of cocaine to the wrong address, it sets in motion a desperate search and battle for the coke between the furious dealer that sent it, the fearful intended recipients that missed it, and the conniving accidental recipients that plan to flip it. Time is running out and everyone's trying to get their hands on the package that's been sent.

From IW: Gosh, we've never seen that before, have we?

Here is the trailer. Oh yeah, by the way, Mos Def, Lauren London, Mike Epps, Wood Harris (The Wire), and Debbie Allen are in it too:

Here I Is...

^To quote the late, great, Notorious B.I.G.

Thank you so very much for my birthday wishes. Between my fasting and prosperity journey with my good pal Sistah C., my job, personal boring responsibilities, my quest to triple my fundage, and my new found E-Bay addiction for low priced but hellacious clothing (yes, I'm late on that), I haven't really felt like blogging. I always say if blogging feels like a job, or a duty, no es fun anymore. If I take breaks from time to time, Ms. Invisible can keep rollin'. I love Black Film, and I feel lots of good things are coming this year, so I want to be here with you to discuss most of it....

Anyhoo, after an unplanned absence I usually come back with an Old School Music Friday, which I haven't done in eons. This week's theme is Originals Vs. Remakes, and I'd like to take it back to my origin of making mine Black Cinema related.

Here is the first, true original one, and the one that I really enjoy most. The remakes get progresionally...ummm...questionable, but it is always an amazing song no matter who is singing it:



The next is of Aretha Franklin singing it. She is skinny, with some short blondish (sort of) nappylicious hair, and she has seemed to maintain her apparent complete and total disdain for any type of boobage support for decades. But girl can sing, what can I say?



The last is En Vogue, who actually did a wonderful homage to the original in their 90's video of the remake. I always feel an affinity to them cause I went to school with Dawn Robinson, and we admitted years later that we had always admired each others style, even back then. Unfortunately, the original video is nowhere to be found on youtube (and I was too lazy to look elsewhere), but I did find many different versions shot on many niggaratti cell phones. Here is one--peep the wardrobe as well; how the mighty have fallen.... :-(



PS: Who are the people supposed to be in the poster above? Awful! Please visit my other OSF fam for their choices on this meme:

AJ - http://overanalyzeit.wordpress.com/Believer 1964 - http://ruhoffman.blogspot.com/BklynQueen’86 - http://vanitydark.blogspot.com/CC Groovy - http://ccgroovy.blogspot.com/Chocl8t - http://thechocl8tdiaries.wordpress.com/Cooper - http://wonderlandornot.net/Shawn - http://dallassouthblog.com/Danielle Vyas - http://modernmusings.com/Dee - http://donotcolorme.blogspot.com/DP - http://therealready.blogspot.com/Fresh and Fab - http://freshandfab.blogspot.com/Hagar’s Daughters – http://hagarsdaughters.blogspot.com/Invisible Woman - http://invisible-cinema.blogspot.com/John - http://altjirangamitjina.blogspot.com/Kevin - http://slanttruth.com/Kim - http://thepunkin-patch.blogspot.com/LaKeisha - http://kreativetalk.blogspot.com/LaShonda - http://thee-biz.blogspot.com/Lil Creole Pimp - http://creolepimp.blogspot.com/Lisa C - http://lisacwrites.blogspot.com/Mahogany - http://www.mahoganydymond.net/Malcolm - http://popculturedish.blogspot.com/Marcus - http://marcuslangford.com/MarvalusOne - http://themarvalusview.com/Mike - http://thehappygoluckybachelor.blogspot.com/Mrs. Grapevine - http://mrsgrapevine.com/MsLadyDeborah - http://msladydeborah.blogspot.com/Pjazzypar - http://www.tracesofastream.blogspot.com/Pop Art Diva - http://popartdiva.blogspot.com/Quick - http://thequickcatchup.blogspot.com/Regina - http://reginasfamilyseasons.blogspot.com/Shae-Shae - http://heyshae.com/blogSharon - http://thetrueurbanqueen.blogspot.com/SJP - http://sojournersplace.blogspot.com/Thembi - http://whatwouldthembido.blogspot.com/Villager - http://electronicvillage.blogspot.com/Vivrant Thang - http://songsinthekeyoflife.wordpress.com/Zenobia - http://from-the-battlefield.blogspot.com/

A Good Day To Be Black And Sexy....

Hi all. I know I've been a bit absent this past week, but promise to bring you some movie news tomorrow. I am kicking my New Year off in a major and fantastic way with a new health regime (really just a step up from what I've been doing before) and celebrating this past week-end and today with all of it's glory and significance.

Today is my birthday, and what better present can I have than what's going on today? Obama knew what I wanted, lol. Note to George Bush: PLEASE let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya on your way out!!

Ahhh, yes, such A Good Day To Be Black And Sexy....**

Y'all enjoy it all day long...as for me, I will be on the highest mountain ranges of limoncello heaven!





**i'll be reviewing this film soon...

Disturbing Picture(s) Of The Week....

Not so "Dy-no-mite!" anymore, huh? A looooong way from Bootney Farnsworth.



And Georgie, Porgie, Porker Pie:

A looooong way from Karma Chameleon yes?





note to self: age is the enemy...

T. Jakes Vs. T. Perry; 6 Of One, Half A Dozen Of The Other

Which means to say, what's the difference?

There are way more similarities then differences, for sure, but there are some distinct separations that make me prefer one (albeit only very slightly!) over the other...more on that in a bit...

Received this from Kim over at the Punkin Patch in my email:

Hey IW:

A friend of mine just sent me a link to the trailer of Tyler Perry's next movie "Madea Goes to Jail" (http://www.madeagoestojailmovie.com/). I don't know if you've seen or not but it looks like standard TP fare. I am beginning to wonder if Tyler Perry likes women. In all his movies some distressed, abused, down on her luck woman always has to be saved by a "good man". Usually the good man is 'light-skinded'. But this time he chose a chocolate brother Derek Luke to be the savior. And why do all these women have to either be a drug-addict, single momma with babies by different men, and now a prostitute??? Between him and the good Bishop TD Jakes (his new movie looks like its putting down professional black women who choose career over poppin out babies for their poor, long-suffering good man), I don't think these men have much love for the sistas. I'd love to hear your opinion. Thanks!

Kim

From IW: Hmmm. Let me begin by saying this...I have to admit, Perry playing Madea usually doesn't bother me (tho it seems to infuriate a lot of men), but for some reason these pix were positively creepy to me. For the first time I got a flash of repulsion that the most vocal men on the subject must be feeling...it seemed...downgrading in some way.

I know, I know--we have discussed Perry many times on this blog, and for the new readers, I have made it clear that his films do not move me. I don't know if it's because I was raised Catholic that I can't relate, as I find his stories simplistic, trite, formulaic, repetitive, unrealistic, and ultimately just plain boring. I have no problem with others enjoying them, tho, and I let it lie there....but if he never made another project ever again, I would not be one to miss him for a second.


I have never really discussed T.D. Jakes and his films (well, I've only seen one until this new one). I thought "Woman, Thou Art Loosed" was absolutely awe-inspiring in it's awfulness; besides the cinematography and editing equating to the works of an 8 year old. But the storyline, a woman who is the victim of incest by her stepfather who is made out to be the villain instead of him, until everyone, (including said sick raping pedophile) comes to forgiveness and redemption, without anyone--except for the real victim-- suffering or being punished at any point. I found it disgusting and irresponsible, further perpetuating the "act like it never happened" protocol in the black community.

But at least T.D. Jakes' situations are based in realism, which is a lot more than I can say for Perry, and his films give pause for thought here and there. Yes, Tyler and Jakes' movies have a very faith based gospel flavoring, and the "good man can cure all" morals are getting very tired, cause we all know very well that it usually isn't that black and white. It is also possible for a single Black woman not to have multiple social and personality issues, which are central themes in both of their projects. And I don't know about y'all, but sometimes I just don't feel like forgiving some folks, and I don't want it hammered in my head over and over again that I must do it at all costs.

But I almost (and almost is a big deal for me) enjoyed "Not Easily Broken". I went in with low expectations for my typical superficial reasons--I knew Taraji P. Henson's weave was going to be way off the wack-o-meter, and I cannot emphasize enough in this lifetime how much I can. not. stand. Kevin Hart. Who the f*ck told this dude that he was funny? If anyone out there thinks he is, please drop a comment about why you do--I'd be very, very interested to know.


But I digress....the other thing that made me skeptical is that Taraji's acting most of the time rubs me the wrong way...it is sometimes just...too much. Her black chick yelling makes me want to leave the theatre at some point. She is in all of her glory with that here, and it is starkly noticeable against Morris Chestnut's (looking foin as hayell!) very low-key steelo, but she makes up for it at the end with some quieter, thoughtful moments, so I forgave her. Bill Duke (who directed), a huge fave of mine, also made me a bit more hopeful.

For those of you that don't know, "Not Easily Broken" is the semi-classic situation of a married couple growing in two separate directions, one having boo-jee ambitions, while the other one preferring a simpler life. A car accident changes their relationship and stretches it to the breaking point, though the injury was pretty slight in my opinion to cause all the drama.

But at least there were realistic situations that I could relate to, always absent with me with Perry. Mother-in-law blues (played with an off the hook hilarity and realism by Black film staple Jenifer Lewis), keeping up with the Jones', hiding behind appearances, the importance of knowing most of us are exactly the same (even the ones we hate the most) are all addressed here. And yes, forgiveness was the key theme and moral in this film, but at least this time I didn't feel like gagging up my Raisinets when it was brought about, despite all of the hellacious cheap soap opera music abound on the screen.

I say a definite rent, if you're into this sort of thing.


Here is the trailer for "Madea Goes To Jail"; proceed at your own risk....

Adventures In Palookaville...

There was this guy that I used to date back in the day, Thomas Monagham (very Irish, right?). I use his real name, cause if he ever happens upon this blog I would be very glad to see/hear from him.

Anyway, Thomas and I met on the subway in New York. Actually he just really mashed on me and charmed me to death in just 5 minutes (till my stop), so I just had to see him at least one more time. He was an actor, and on our first date we went to a Greta Garbo Festival. I wasn't really into it at all at first, but then I actually really enjoyed it.

Thomas was always showing me new things in film, and he was very much the actor in style and looks in the vein of the holy covenant of the Mickey Rourke (when he was hot), Gary Oldman (when he was hot), Eric Roberts (when he was hot), and Sean Penn (when he was hot) mold, and he really exposed me to the works of all four actors. So when I saw 3 movies starring each one of them over the weekend, it led me to think of him and compelled me to post about them.


First up was "State Of Grace", which I had always mistakenly thought was a military film. Not at all. It's Penn as a deep undercover cop from Hell's Kitchen who comes back to his old neighborhood, with his old gangster cronies (including Gary Oldman), and basically has to be a rat fink.

Man, Sean used to be hot to death--I could see why Madonna married him. He wasn't handsome in the traditional sense, but the way he wore his hair, the way he dressed, even the way he smoked; his bad boy swagger was off the meters. The movie was pretty much a by numbers crime story, but Oldman and Penn are so charismatic it keeps you transfixed. There is a beautiful juxtaposition at the end between NY's famous St. Patrick's Day Parade, and Penn's bad ass high-noon style showdown, all in slo-mo. Rent it just to see that sequence alone.


I also rewatched "The Pope Of Greenwich Village", which I hadn't seen in years, starring Mickey Rourke and Eric Roberts. For those of you that don't know, there was actually a time when Eric Roberts was a much bigger star than his sister, Julia Roberts. How the mighty have fallen. It was a bit distracting to look at him sometimes, cause they look so much alike, but I digress.

Rourke and Roberts are cousins that get fired from a restaurant for Roberts' stealing. Roberts, though a complete and total airhead, comes up with a scheme to rob a safe, which they find out (too late) belongs to a mobster.

This movie has been a fave for many cause the characters are so memorable, and it is a real slice of New York life in the 80's. I say see it if you like films about New York, mobsters, and lovable losers.



I saved the best for last, which is Mickey Rourke as "The Wrestler". Holee sh*t this man can act. If you didn't know it was Mickey, you would swear you were watching someone's life. Since this is a Black Cinema blog, I won't go on and on the way I'd like to about this film.

Suffice it to say that between Darren Aronofsky and Rourke, there can't help to be some amazing sh*t. There is a scene where Rourke begins work as a deli worker in a supermarket, and for the couple of minutes before he starts his very first shift, it is just as taught, anxiety ridden, and fraught with anticipation as when he goes into a ring for a match. If a movie can convey that linear polarity, you know you have something very special before you on the screen.


The commonality of these films was that in the working class tribes of the Irish and Italians hoods and the Wrestling World, being loyal and working together came first and foremost. Before anything. And having dreams, and seeing them slowly die, and coming to the harsh realization that you may actually live out your days as a loser, compels people to do extraordinary and desperate things--some good, but a lot of it...not so much.

Here is the trailer for State Of Grace:



And for "The Pope Of Greenwich Village":






ps: if you don't know the term "palookaville", ask an old new yorker

When, When, When, Will It End?

I was going to post some more about the movies I saw over the weekend, but it's difficult for me to talk about frivolous things when I'm right here in Oakland in the midst of the aftermath of the murder, yes, murder of Oscar Grant. In case you don't know, Oscar Grant was shot and killed, while laying face down, in what some say were handcuffs, in Oakland by the Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) police. Yes, transit police.


It is ironic that just a few weeks ago I posted about my own experience with the BART police slamming my newborn son's head on the trunk of a car here.

During that time, I met a man whose son was also murdered by the BART police. His son was sixteen years old, and was falsely accused of stealing a Walkman because "he fit a description". When the police officer questioned him, the young man, knowing his innocence, walked away from the officer, and was shot from the back by the cop, killing him.

He was also unarmed, minding his own business, just as I was, when these animals came upon him, just like they did to Oscar Grant, scarring families and lives for eternity. The father always carried around this huge scrapbook of his son under his arm, filled with newspaper articles, letters, pictures, and depositions. I was so filled with sorrow for him every time we met, because I knew that book was his own personal cross to bear. It brings tears to my eyes even writing about it now. As far as I know, the father never received any type of justice for his son, just as BART wrote a letter regarding my baby's slammed head and stint in foster care as "justified" because "the officer felt threatened". I couldn't talk about my experience until very recently, and a part of my life was taken away from me that day, never to return.


Was this piece of shit that shot Oscar Grant "threatened" as well? I'm sure if there were no real witnesses, that would have been the lie told for the thousandth time by those dogs. Thank the Most High for video phones and YouTube. This gross abuse of power is absolutely sickening, and is just one of many examples of how far we have to go in equal justice. I learned through a police-watch group that the BART police are monitored by NO ONE, and therefore ARE NOT held accountable for ANYTHING that they do.

Until now. Why the fuck is anyone killed, or having their children taken away, just for riding a public train? The BART police are, in essence, a bunch of wild cowboys in uniform in my opinion, and it is way past time for a rebellion like this to happen regarding the suffering they have put on Black riders for years.

Yes, there were fires, and protests, and a damn near riot, and I'm sorry for anyone that suffered because of it. But I am also, to be very, very honest, almost gleeful that the whole country can finally see what has been swept under the rug, and covered over with dirt for so very long.

And oh, Mr. Murdering Cop? Mr. Johannes Mehserle? Sorry honey, resigning is not nearly enough. No freaking way. You should be in jail, even as I write this, never to see the light of day again, just like Oscar Grant, who begged you not to harm him for the sake of his young daughter, will never see the light of day ever again. May you burn forever.



Here is some footage of one of the protests, cause I couldn't find it in me to post the videos of his murder, but you can find it all over the net:



UPDATE: Spotted on Slant Truth from RaceWire:

5 Things You Can Do Right Now About the Oscar Grant Shooting

1. Digg the story so that the national media can pick up on it

2. Contact BART Director Carole Ward Allen and demand that 1) the officers involved be taken off duty without pay and charged and fully prosecuted; 2) there be an independent investigation of the shooting that includes a review of training and hiring practices; and 3) BART establish an independent residents’ review board for the police Call her at 510-464-6095 or email the BART Directors at BoardofDirectors@bart.gov

3. Call the BART police to complain about the officers’ conduct and demand immediate action: Internal Affairs: Sergeant David Chlebowski 510.464.7029,dchlebo@bart.gov; Chief of Police: Gary Gee 510.464.7022, ggee@bart.gov

Call them toll free at 877.679.7000 and press the last four digits of the phone number you wish to reach.

4. Talk it up on your blogs, networks and talk radio shows (call Michael Baisden 877-6BADBOY or Rev. Al, etc. to get this on the national radar)

5. Stay tuned for other actions, protests, etc., especially if you are in the Bay.