What tha?

These two ummm "films" have me perplexed with my lips extremely pursed. All I can say is: 'Who?' 'What?' and most definitely 'Why?' Also 'Huh?' and "The F**k?"

To wit, first up is Tichina Arnold (Pam in "Martin", aka 'BDB') in a dramatic role that seems to be a race reversal of "Black Snake Moan-The Sketch Drafts". That's the most I can say.




The second one is beyond description. When I saw it on the blog "Long Live The Message" I must have stared at the computer screen for a full minute after it was over.



The "star" of this "movie" is Ryan Leslie, the supposed manager of "singer" Cassie, who is also maybe probably Diddy's fiance. Since Ryan has the head- throbbing vanity to make this butter-fried mess, I am quite sure he is vain enough to Google himself on the daily. So Ryan, listen up-you are made to act like Cassie is meant to sing. Nuff said.

Today In B'Days....

Laurence Fishburne is 47.

Vivica Fox is 44 (cough). Her hairline is 82.*

*you saw that one coming didn't you?

Hello There...

Hi all. I guess it's safe to say I'm back for awhile for 3 good reasons:

1) I was moved by the concern of my safety in the quake via email (btw, it scared the sh*t out of me, and I was in the big one in San Francisco).

2) If I die in a quake, I don't want my last blog post legacy to be a week old "today in b'days post", haha.

3) Your girl is monetizing her blog a bit, which means I have to get my slacking self together and actually write on my own blog a bit regularly (the nerve). I even answered your recent comments (!).

So, there has been a lot of little, unimportant news...I'll get to some of it. Thanks for all who emailed me about the Black Cinema stamps. I actually wrote about them a while ago in February HERE. I usually write about things way ahead of time, so if it seems like I'm late or not aware of something current, use my searchbar to check the archives.

First up. a funny story Sergio emailed me about the Oprah/Tyler Perry "romance" (lmao):

“He just kept complaining to Oprah that he’s this successful film director and yet the paparazzi ignore him,” said a source close to Perry’s camp. “So [while on vacation in Italy] Oprah took him by the arm and said, ‘come on, let’s go take some pictures.'"

According to the source, Oprah made sure the paps got all the shots they needed of the pair while they vacationed with Oprah’s BFF Gayle King in Portofino, Italy last week.“Apparently, he complains a lot to Oprah because she did the same thing for him while they were in L.A. together last year,” said the source.

From IW: Damn, just sad.

Did you know that Charles Dutton served some serious hard time? I didn't. My man has overcome some serious odds. From Variety:

Random House's Crown Books will publish multihyphenate Charles Dutton's memoirs in 2010. The book's working title is "From Jail to Yale.''

In 1968, at age 17, the Baltimore native was convicted of manslaughter, and he served 7½ years in prison.

Less than two years later, he went back to prison after being convicted of possession of a deadly weapon. During his second stint behind bars, he became involved with prison theater groups and after his release went on to college and the Yale School of Drama.

From IW: Interesting.

This is very random: Sanaa Lathan and Nia Long will be two of the voices on "The Cleveland Show" a spin-off of the cartoon "Family Guy". This should be interesting as I am usually not amused by the "satire" of Blacks on that show. At all.

What I am amused by, however, is a new blog I discovered called "You Know You Dead Azz Wrong". It is crazy, hilarious, and extremely mean and ignorant. Keep that last part in the forefront of your mind if you click on the link, and view sigh inducing pictures like this one (sorry folkses):

Today In B'Days....

Eriq LaSalle is 46.

Marlon Wayans is 36 (wasn't he 36 last year?).

Omar Epps is 35.

I'll be honest, all three of these dudes kinda annoy me, but for different reasons. It's their day, so I won't elaborate--plus I know plenty of you have crushes on at least one of them.

An Open Letter To Eddie Murphy....

Dear Eddie:

I'm not much for writing these, as a matter of fact, I haven't written one in 7 months. But after viewing "Meet Dave" for over an excruciating and mind boggling hour, I felt it was that time again. I haven't really been a fan of your film or personal life for a very, very long time, but watching this movie made even me feel sorry and sad for you.

While relaying my Meet Dave watching experience and the fact that this film did 5 million in it's opening weekend, a friend of mine suggested that maybe director Brian Robbins has pictures of you and Johnny Gill in a very compromising position. This theory does seem to make a lot of sense; first he directs you in your post Oscar embarrassment "Norbit", then this current insane debacle, and next up the sigh inducing "Thousand Words" in which you are only allowed to say 1,000 words before you die. Which also seems to be the definitive death knell in your career as well.

I've been around Brian Robbins while working at the studio That Will Henceforth Remain Unnamed (TWHRU). He is a very charming guy, granted, but certainly not worth losing the respect of the general public. If he has pictures of you and Johnny, come clean--I promise you'll feel so much better once the heat wears off. If not, please consider 2 things:

A) Getting a restraining order against Brian Robbins

B) Putting this acting thing down for good, and producing some films that will make us care about you again.

I say this with love,

Invisible Woman

Did You Know....

That 'The Pursuit Of Happyness" was pretty much BS? This from Sergio via "Cracked":

The Hollywood Version: Chris Gardner is a hard-working man with a pain-in-the-ass wife and an adorable little son boasting one of the greatest afros we've ever seen on a child. All Gardner wants to do is make enough of a living to provide for his son.

Through what we assume is black magic, he solves a Rubik's Cube in record time, wowing an employee at Dean Witter and he apparently passes the only test needed to qualify a man to become a stock broker. He toils for months, sleeping in subways and churches with his son at his side, but in the end it all pays off when he claims the one and only opening at Dean Witter, crying tears of joy and getting jiggy wit it in the streets of San Francisco.

In reality ... Gardner did get a chance to show his stuff in the Dean Witter training program (though we're sad to report his acceptance had nothing to do with solving a colorful puzzle game). But, as the more honest book version points out, he apparently wasn't quite the father the film made him out to be.

First, he was so focused on getting a job and earning his first million that, well, he actually didn't even know where the hell his son was for the first four months of the program.

Chris, Jr. was apparently living at this point in time with his mother, Jackie. Did we mention that the boy had been conceived when Gardner was still married to another woman?

In addition, instead of being arrested just before his big interview due to parking tickets ... well, it seems that Chris was actually arrested after Jackie accused him of domestic violence.

Don't get us wrong, Chris did indeed get his life turned around after landing the job as a broker. There were just some things in Gardner's past that they couldn't quite bring themselves to have Will Smith do on screen. Like selling drugs (as Gardner admits he did briefly), or doing cocaine with his mistress, with little doses of PCP and a hearty helping of Mary Jane tossed in for good measure.

Adulterous sex? Cocaine? Neglecting your child for months at a time? It says something about the man that he didn't drop the pursuit, despite having pretty much found happyness already.

From IW: Interesting. It seems those "small" real-life details are maybe what put dude in his downtrodden position in the first place, not just generic bad luck.

Speaking of Sergio, his "Black Harvest" film festival is coming to Chi-Town, aka Chicago. Here are the details:

14th Annual Black Harvest International Festival of Film and Video

The Gene Siskel Film Center welcomes you to the 14th edition of the "BlackHarvest International Festival of Film and Video," from August 1 through28

The Midwest¹s biggest and best celebration of the black experience on film,Black Harvest highlights talent from around the nation and around the world,with a special emphasis on our own Chicago-based filmmakers. An array of special events, personal appearances, and filmmaker discussionskeep this year¹s festival exciting from beginning to end.

Filmcritic/cultural commentator Elvis Mitchell is our special guest on Tuesday, August 5, at 8:15 pm, with an advance screening of HBO¹s THE BLACK LIST,VOL. 1, presenting dramatic insightful portraits of influential African Americans. A special advance screening on Wednesday, August 6, at 6:15 pm,of TROUBLE THE WATER, set in post-Katrina New Orleans, provides a sneakpreview of one of the most acclaimed documentaries from the 2008 SundanceFilm Festival. The festival panel discussion "How to Get a Movie Made," on Saturday,August 9, is a valuable free workshop for filmmakers and aspiring filmmakers.

Five Black Harvest directors provide detailed advice on how toget your production off the ground. New this year, we feature a freevendors market in our gallery/café from 1:00 pm to 5:00 pm, providing information and demonstrations of production equipment. In recent years, Chicago has become a notable center for black independent filmmaking. This thriving scene includes producers, directors, writers, and many actors. We are pleased to present a stellar crop of newly completed features and shorts by local directors, several of whom have presented work in Black Harvest in the past.

There is tons and tons more happening and screening. For more info: Gene Siskel Film Center 164 N. State Street Chicago, IL 60601 phone 312 846 2075 fax 312 332 5859 email mrubin1@saic.edu Visit our website at: http://www.siskelfilmcenter.org/

Old School Music Friday...

This week's meme is "Break Up Songs". This is an interesting one for me, as I've only really felt two of the break-ups I've had in my whole life. I know lots of my old school crew are going to post something sad and serious, but for the most part, my attitude is pretty much like this hip hop group's right here; "NEXT!"



Believer 1964 - http://ruhoffman.blogspot.com/Cassandra - http://celeb-blitz.com/CC Groovy - http://ccgroovy.blogspot.com/Chocl8t - http://thechocl8tdiaries.wordpress.com/Danielle - http://funkyfingaproductions.blogspot.com/Danielle Vyas - http://modernmusings.com/Dee - http://donotcolorme.blogspot.com/DP - http://therealready.blogspot.com/Fresh and Fab - http://freshandfab.blogspot.com/Hagar’s Daughters – http://hagarsdaughters.blogspot.com/LaKeisha - http://kreativetalk.blogspot.com/LaShonda - http://thee-biz.blogspot.com/Lisa C - http://lisacwrites.blogspot.com/MarvalusOne - http://www.themarvalusview.com/Mrs. Grapevine - http://mrsgrapevine.com/Quick - http://thequickcatchup.blogspot.com/Regina - http://reginasfamilyseasons.blogspot.com/Shae-Shae - http://shaedoves.blogspot.com/SJP - http://sojournersplace.blogspot.com/Villager - http://electronicvillage.blogspot.com/Vivrant Thang - http://songsinthekeyoflife.wordpress.com/AJ -http://overanalyzeit.wordpress.com/Mike - http://thehappygoluckybachelor.blogspot.com/Thembi - http://whatwouldthembido.blogspot.com/ Kim - http://thepunkin-patch.blogspot.com/

If I've left anyone off, please let me know!

WTF??!!

This one is too intense even for my WTF Volumes....it stands head and shoulders above the rest. Here is an update on my story the other day on the Nixon/Jeffrey Wright bar fight. From D-Listed:

As you know, Josh and Jeffrey were arrested in Shreveport this past weekend for their involvement in some bar brawl. A part of their arrest was caught on cell phone video and it shows some gross shit.

The video reportedly shows Jeffrey getting tasered and pepper sprayed several times by the cops as he lay on his stomach in the street. TMZ reports that several officers cursed Jeffrey out and used the the "N" word towards him. Josh was trying to control the situation, but ended up getting pepper sprayed in the eyes. The video hasn't been released yet, but you know it's coming.

This is why the cops always scare the fuck out of me. I talk a big talk, but when the cops come around, I become a 4-year-old girly with a speech impediment.

And how the hell are those cops going to taser, pepper spray and curse at Jeffrey?! Obviously they never saw Basquiat.

Expect a groveling, fake ass apology from these dumbass cops in 3...2.....


From IW: I am speechless.

*sigh*

Lord Jesus...."DRAMA!" as my 'zesty' pals usta say.

The wigs alone make me want to lay down and take a long, long, nap.

Today In B'Days....

The always lovely Whitaker is 47.

The usually annoying Eddie Griffin is 40.

Their birthdays were actually over an hour ago, but this is the first chance I had to post. I also wanted to post a related story....

Remember that debacle Eddie had about a year ago at the ultra boo-jee Black Enterprise 14th annual Golf and Tennis Challenge? If not I wrote about it HERE.

Well, Afro Nerd posted this story about the new version of this with the Bernie Mac/Obama function, and I could not agree more. Don't expect champagne when you buy Colt 45, I'm just sayin'!:

Must everything relate to Senator Obama? I think for the moment, the answer will be a resounding, "yes!" First off, please excuse the expletive laden stand up routine as performed by the incomparable Bernie Mac. It appears that Senator Obama's staffers were unaware or had a lapse in judgment by hiring a blue comedian such as Mac and then expecting Walt Disney corporate humor-don't let his recent work on the family friendly, Bernic Mac Show fool you! Eddie Griffin received a similar comeuppance last year when hired to perform in front of the Boule/Jack & Jill set (Black Enterprise members/supporters, more specifically) and his microphone was snatched from him by Enterprise publisher, Earl Graves. This time it was Obama coming to the "rescue" and denouncing. Word of advice to the good Senator-you can't denounce everyone. Check out this excerpt, courtesy of the Huffington Post:

CHICAGO (AP) _ Comedian Bernie Mac endured some heckling and a campaign rebuke during a surprise appearance Friday night at a fundraiser for Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.

Toward the end of a 10-minute standup routine at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in downtown Chicago, the 50-year-old star of "The Bernie Mac Show" joked about menopause, sexual infidelity and promiscuity, and used occasional crude language.

"My little nephew came to me and he said, 'Uncle, what's the difference between a hypothetical question and a realistic question?'" Mac said. "I said, I don't know, but I said, 'Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd make love to the mailman for $50,000.'"

As the joke continued, the punchline evoked an angry response from at least one person in the audience, who said it was offensive to women.

"It's not funny. Let's get Barack on," a man shouted from the crowd, which paid $2,300 each to support the Illinois senator.

About 15 minutes later, Obama tried to smooth things over with a joke of his own.

"We can't afford to be divided by race. We can't afford to be divided by region or by class and we can't afford to be divided by gender, which by the way, that means, Bernie, you've got to clean up your act next time," Obama said. "This is a family affair. By the way, I'm just messing with you, man."

From IW:

A) I thought that ish was hella funny (I know Obama did too) and wasn't offended at all.

B) Ummm....Obama; you might want to calm down with the "denouncing", homes.

How Bernie probably side-eyed this foolishness

Weekend B.O.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE
July 11–13, 2008 Studio Estimates (thanks Sergio!)

1) Hellboy II:The Golden Army Uni. $35,885,000

2) Hancock Sony $33,000,000 Total: $165,034,000

3) Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D NL $20,580,000

4 ) Wall-E BV $18,509,000 Total; $162,772,000

5) Wanted Uni. $11,586,000 Total; $112,045,000

6) Get Smart WB $7,105,000 Total; $111,468,000

7) Meet Dave Fox $5,300,000

8) Kung Fu Panda P/DW $4,300,000 Total: $202,043,000

9) Kit Kittredge: An American Girl PicH $2,357,000 Total; $11,046,000

10) Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Par. 2,250,000 Total 310,477,000


From IW: Okay I'll go through these one by one...

1) Hellboy: Zero interest

2) Hancock: After fiending to see it for months, I finally saw it this weekend. Sorry, I don't care what folkses say, I liked it very much, as I do with all Will Smith movies. When I first saw the director was Peter Berg I thought "this can't be the same dude that was in Corky Romano with Chris Kitean". But lo and behold it was. WTF? A him-bo trusted to direct a blockbuster?

Like I said, I liked it very much, and I think people are way too critical of it--wanting a Will Smith failure badly,, or something like that. It is better than 85% of the films I've seen in the past year....for real. The ending wasn't so hot, and the cinematography was pretty awful (they should have hired the "Spiderman" dude), but I definitely think it's worth checking out and enjoying a matinee.

3) Journey To The Center Of The Earth: Next! At least Brendan Fraser found a decent lacefront wig.

4) Wall-E: Normally I love Pixar movies (the only kids movies I like) but I have absolutely no desire to see this for some reason.

5) Wanted: I wrote about this ish HERE in "WTF-Volume 5". Maybe now that St. Jolie has the twins with the f**ked up names, she will concentrate on other things besides playing characters that are supposed to be Black. From reader Leo Of Borg:

"Having just read WANTED the comic, and NOT having Fox in the movie as a black anti-heroine, this just pissed me off. All this really looks like is yet another chance for Angelina to show off more [permanent?] ink. Feh.

Blogged here with my sentiments and with links to the comic."

6) Get Smart: Don't feel one way or the other. Like Steve Carrell and the original show...will probably see it one day.

7) Meet Dave: Holee shit!! Can somebody say nuclear bomb? I think only "Basic Instinct 2" opened this bad. Note to Eddie: Reality check!

8) Kung Fu Panda: Hmmmm. Don't have much to say about this one either; will probably see it eventually.

9) Kit Kittredge: Ummmm....guess Willow inherited the star power of her mama Jada and not Poppy Smith.

10) Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull: Is this mess still hanging around?

Get On Down Jeffrey!

SHREVEPORT, La. - Actors Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright, along with members of a crew filming an Oliver Stone movie, were arrested during a bar fight Saturday morning, police said.

Shreveport police Sgt. Willie Lewis said Brolin, Wright and five others were arrested just after 2 a.m. at a club called the Stray Cat bar.

A call to deal with a rowdy patron drew interference from other patrons, Lewis said.

The Times of Shreveport reported that Brolin was booked and posted $334 cash bond to be released. Police could not say Saturday night whether he or the others had been released. The paper said they are part of the crew on an Oliver Stone film, "W," about President George W. Bush.

From IW: Ultradignified Jeffrey Wright in a barfight? Yeeeehaw!!

thanks sergio!

Today In B'Days....

Bill Cosby is 71. Damn!



Lisa Nicole Carson says she's 39. Where you and your boobage at girl?!


Here's Bill in one of my favorites of all time--"Uptown Saturday Night". I posted this clip once before, but what can I say? Love it!




Bonus clip: I also loved this hip hop group from back in the day...they were constantly paying homage to everything Black and 70's from Ernie Barnes/"Goodtimes" to the lovable "Uptown Saturday Night" and "Coolie High"---this is one of my very, very, very, very favorite songs of all time...let "luchini fall from the sky!":

A Good Day To Be Black And Sexy....

What day isn't? lol

Actually, this is the name of a film I've wanted to see for some time....a subject that comes up here quite often is why genuine Black Love isn't shown on screen (I mean really, wtf? I know our sh*t is intense, but damn!). "Medicine For Melancholy" was the first glimmer of hope, here is another---spotted on The Obenson Report:

For those of you living in the Philadelphia area, Sundance 2008 selection, A Good Day To Be Black And Sexy, (directed by Dennis Dortch) will be screening at the the ReelBlack Presents showcase on Thursday July 31st, at The Bridge Cinemas on 40th and Walnut Street.

No info on specific times. Go to REELBLACK for more info as the day approaches, or call the theatre.The film was picked up by Magnolia Pictures at Sundance and is scheduled for a fall 2008 theatrical release.

From IW: Love ReelBlack--they are always doing great things!

Here is the director talking about the film:

The Big Rip Off!

Big cars.......big hats.....big guns.....big boobs.....Ed McMahon.

Oh. My. God.

If this isn't the most classic, classic, classic Blaxploitation, I don't know what is!


btw, I agree with Sergio, Will Smith would never have the balls to do this...then again, who would?

Sorry Forest....

OK, I know I was a bit rough on the Whitaker the other day...so I'll make up for it with this newsy news from The Obenson Report (which, by the way, is the most amazing blog dealing with Black Cinema out there.....I would say as good as mine, haha :-) ):

Who knew Forest Whitaker was such a busy man? Not me! According to Variety Magazine:

HBO has greenlit the pilot for a program called Fat Sells which is set in the world of the $46 billion herbal weight loss industry. Forest Whitaker will produce AND potentially direct.

The project will center on the head of a weight loss behemoth (and his family) and how his life starts to unravel when the FDA begins investigating the company's claims.

No word on casting yet.

Whitaker will next be seen in the upcoming Hurricane Season, the post-Katrina, Tim Story-directed film, playing a high school basketball coach in Louisiana, "who assembles a team of players who had previously attended five different schools before the disaster, and leads them on the path to the state championships."

He's also developing a Showtime project about the rise of African-American organized crime in the 1970s, AND an FX show about arms dealers.

All sound very interesting to me. His name attached to each project certainly helps. More as each story develops.

Go Forest, go!

From IW: I agree with Obenson, all of it sounds interesting, and different.... about time! Finally, a Negro with an Oscar putting it to good use.

tried to find an unpainful pic--this one is almost ok....

Today In B'Days....

The hotness, the fineness, the lick-able (okay I'll calm down) Chiwetel Ejiofor is 34.

Eff Off Dave....

Got this funny note from Sergio:

"How bad is 'Meet Dave?' I just found that even Eddie Murphy didn't bother to show up at last night's Hollywood premiere of the film. THAT'S how bad".

From IW: Damn! I was gonna go to that premier (last minute invite tho)...if Eddie didn't show up, I'm sure glad I didn't. I wrote about this debacle HERE in "WTF? Volume 2" when I started my blog a year ago (maybe 25 people read it, so you can read it now). I feel exactly the same way about this ish as I did a year ago.....

by the way, can Eddie please be serious about retiring from acting? why the f**k doesn't he use the gobs of money he's drowning in to produce something that matters? SMH

OK Enough....

OK, I am SICK of not posting, so I'm gonna have a bunch of random posts thru the day today, just to get the information out out there. Thanks so much for your patience and always checking in. You may not get all of my wonderful amazing wit and humor today, but you'll get some Black Cinema news and tidbits.

First up: I talked about this film and this creative sister a while ago....received this in my email from her:

We are please to announce that Best Kept Secret (BKS) has finally made it's way to television. BKS, most recently being named a finalist in the BET J's Best Shorts contest, will air repeatedly on the BET J channel over the next two weeks. The winner of THE BEST SHORTS contest, awarded by a committee of reviewers, receives $20,000.

Best Kept Secret is written, produced by and stars Karimah Westbrook and Erin Norman. The film centers on the impact of infidelity within relationships. The short drama was developed to help expand the reach of prevention efforts and reduce the spread of HIV amongst African American women. The film is directed by Malik Booth.

From IW: Below is the trailer:

Best Kept Secret

Listen Up!

Received this email--just wanted to pass on the info for you Martin Lawrence lovers....

'I grew up watching Martin Lawrence on TV with my family. To this day, I can't meet anyone named Martin without automatically thinking Mahr-tin. His groundbreaking show paved the way for so many African American comedians to have their own sitcoms. And now his series "Martin Lawrence Presents 1st American Stand Up" discovers underground and, yes raunchy, comedians and gives them a chance to shine.

The 3rd season of "Martin Lawrence Presents 1st Amendment Stand-up" is premiering on Starz July 9, featuring host Doug Williams & 35 of the nation's edgiest up-and-coming star comics, including Luenell and Rickey Smiley.

Here are some just-released preview clips that you can feel free to share on Invisible Cinema--

http://starz.mediaroom.com/index.php?s=66

The show is tonight Wed. July 9 at 10:00pm ET/PT on Starz.'

From IW: Readers of this blog know I love Luenell (Oaktown love!) and I know many of you love Rickey Smiley....show Martin some love tonight and check it out.

Hello There...

Hey y'all. I know my posting has been beyond wack, and I apologize. My counterpart at work is in Europe, and I have been buried. I planned on catching up over this past holiday weekend, but since I was visiting San Francisco, and the Invisible Poppy and the Invisible Friends are cocktail lovers and classic sh*t talkers like yours truly, I didn't get very far.

I want to say thank you so very, very much for leaving your comments, tho I haven't been able to respond to them. I love, love, love getting your feedback---I cannot stress that enough. Please be patient with me; I should be back to normal starting next week.

There's so much news that I want to write about for you guys--I am even dreaming about Black Cinema and it's offshoots. Last night I had a dream that I bummed a ciggie from Forest Whitaker, which is so very wrong for 2 reasons: 1) I would never bum a cig in public and 2) I would never, ever, have the nerve to get that close to Forest's face! haha!