Happy Holidays, blah, blah, blah....

Ok, I'm a bit of a Scrooge about Xmas. I just think most of it is kinda ridiculous, and I do my best to stay out of the way. But I do take full advantage of the aspect of folks going into complete slack mode, hence-my lack of posting. I will be back this weekend to give some real movie news (there is some good stuff) as well as a terrific interview I did with "Premium" director Pete Chatmon, that I believe you'll find a good read.

Until tomorrow, I'll leave you with some reposts of the reviews I did last year on "The Perfect Holiday" and "This Christmas". Read while drinking egg nog with lots and lots of brandy...peppermint schnapps in hot chocolate also allowed! On a side note, the picture above is from a real film, with the taglines "One man delivers hope...with a vengeance!" and "He Knows When You've Been Naughty". The plot is described as: "A down-and-out Santa is robbed of all the toys for all the poor kids in town. He searches for the thugs responsible and serves up his own brand of holiday cheer." Hmmm...don't think I'll be reviewing that one...

BLACK CINEMA AT LARGE

Your Black Cinemist At Large was on her j-o-b this weekend, having seen both "The Perfect Holiday" and "I Am Legend". Since I am not up to 100% yet, I'll write about the former one today, as I'm sure it's still a little too early to give spoilers on the latter. Plus I have a lot more to say about "I Am Legend", so I'll wait a couple more days.

I went into "The Perfect Holiday" with zero expectations, to say the least. I mean, I'm not afraid to say it, I am not the biggest Latifah fan, and the director's last handiwork was "The Cookout", what I consider to be possibly the most abysmal black film ever made in history. Lance "Un" Rivera started his career as a rap mogul, whose most famous claim to fame was being supposedly stabbed by Jay-Z....but I digress.

I find it very unfortunate that this film had a dismal showing at the box office, (early predictions were less than $3 million total), 'cause to my very great surprise, I actually enjoyed it. Seriously. No one was more surprised than me.

Since it's easier for me to give observations as opposed to reviews, I'll just do that. It is, I guess, in a way, a sort of capsule review....and also kind of a lazy mini cop-out, haha.

-One thing that bowled me over was that Charlie Murphy, playing a self centered Jay-Z type rapper, is now officially funnier in every way than his brother Eddie. Who saw that coming?

-Speaking of funny, Faizon Love is finally returning to his earlier promises of hilarity he touched on with "Big Worm" in "Friday". My man got in some serious zinger time.

-Gabrielle Union is not much of an actress, but she is starting to grow on me, and sometimes I find her pretty charming, and definitely a pleasure to look at...she has the most marvelous skin I've ever seen. Pass that secret on, girl!

-There were only a couple instances of side-eye; the soundtrack could sometimes get very loud and out of place (a la "The Cookout", work on that, Lance), and also the stylist in me noticed and was distracted by a couple of wildly inappropriate outfits...but when I saw the "Costume Designer" was Misa Hilton-Brimm, Puffy's first baby's mama, it made more sense. She is singlehandedly responsible for the whole 'ghetto fabulous' look, beginning with Lil' Kim and continuing on from there.

-Morris Chestnut is so fine, he is almost painful to look at. Gawtdayum! Nuff said....it doesn't even matter what came out of his mouth or how he performed (satisfactorily, by the way).

-I really, really, like Rachel True (Half & Half). She seems so cool, sweet, and "peace and love". You can even believe her being cool enough to get with Faizon Love, which she does in this.

-Gabrielle and Morris had real and genuine on-screen black love chemistry...VERY refreshing to see.

-The kids had just the right amount of sassiness, without being brats or getting on your nerves; (can anybody say "Are We There Yet?"-yikes) they almost seemed like real-life children.

-My man Katt Williams was in it, with only one or two hair processes instead of six, haha.

-King Latifah and Terrence Howard seemed to be there strictly for marquee value only...they had absolutely nothing to do with the story, tho Terrence was just as surly as ever....and he literally had about 2 lines of dialogue. I mean, why bother?

Lance Rivera either went to film school after that "Cookout" travesty, or he sat down and watched every holiday and Doris Day film ever made back to back, and copied their look and feel verbatim. And lo behold, it worked.

I was talking to someone the other day about how I would absolutely love to see a film with an all black cast, that didn't make a whole big deal about being "BLACK". That it just told a story, but the cast could easily be replaced by any ethnicity. This is one of those films; it reminded me of any garden variety Doris Day/Rock Hudson film that I used to watch growing up, and I loved it. All of the characters of this film were interchangeable with any of those in Doris' movies, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

That is the exact reason why I feel so bad about how this film is performing....there was a crystal clear bootleg copy available to the public the same day it opened, and since this movie doesn't have the crossover appeal of "American Gangster", it was doomed to fail, as a whole household can pay to see it for $5.00.

Bootleg can be the devil folkses.

I mean, we have a film that is charming, minimal coon, fairly intelligent, that looks like some actual money and effort were put in. A film that has good looking, positive, articulate folks; a family oriented script with a little sexiness thrown in, with a production value that is crisp, clean and beautiful, not to mention well-edited. Isn't this what we've been saying over and over we want to see?

And guess what? It's going to do buttkist at the boxoffice.

So next time those of you who buy bootleg before paying box office, think about where the problem lies when we can't get the "YT" studios to support and distribute black film. It called C.R.E.A.M.**

And it's as simple as that.


**c..r.e.a.m.=cash rules everything around me



"This Christmas"

I neglected to write about "This Christmas " yesterday, which actually did a very respectable 2nd place over the holiday weekend behind "Enchanted" (??!!) a movie I only heard about the day before it came out. How did a film like that break records? But I digress...

When I first saw "This Christmas", I wasn't exactly bowled over by it. To me, it was an extra large helping of "Soul Food" (even Mekhi Phifer was in it!) with a side of "Mo Betta Blues" with "Waiting To Exhale" for dessert. But in hindsight, there were some elements that did bring some thoughtfulness (spoilers ahead):

- Why does every movie like this have a long suffering matriarch that always says "family is family, no matter what"?

-Why is there always so much drama at one family dinner? I don't know about y'all, but on a typical holiday get-together with my family no one is being chased by thugs for money, no one is AWOL from the armed services, no one is secretly married to a white girl with a baby on the way, no one gets caught having an affair within two days of said event, no one pushes a car off a cliff, no one pulls a gun out on somebody at a club, two siblings don't have a knock down drag out fight in the rain on the front lawn, and nobody gets caught trying to have sex in the closet. (Yes, all of these happened in a 2 day span in the movie). Even one of these factors would be enough for my family to talk about for the next 10 holidays.

- Was it wrong for me not to feel sorry for the YT secret wife when she showed up and her AWOL man was in jail? He ruined his whole military career over her, and from what I could tell, she had no discernible attributes that seemed worthy of ruin. She didn't seem to have a job, much less a career, no money, not particularly charming or charismatic...she wasn't even that pretty...I mean, could they have cast someone else? Even Paris Hilton would have been more interesting.

- Was it wrong that I thoroughly enjoyed the scene where Regina King hands down whupped her husband's ass with a belt and a ton of baby oil? (Sorry guy readers, haha)

-Lauren London is so very, very pretty....wow. Keith Robinson (Dreamgirls, Half & Half), on the other hand, always seems stiff and uncomfortable to me, tho this is the loosest I've ever seen him. Regina King has obviously been working out a lot--her body looks great.

-Who knew Sharon Leal could be so sassy and actually hold screen time? She seemed like an entirely different person. In "Why Did I Get Married" she was like a lump on a log. Maybe cause she had to kiss Tyler Perry in that film, instead of Mekhi, like in this one. I would've been sour too. LMAO at her line "You decided to be with that fraction of a man!"

-I love Chris Brown and all (as I stated in my Omarion comments the other day), but why do they keep sending a boy to do a man's job? First, a remake of a Donny Hathaway song, which is admirable, but let's be real, no one can eff with The Don. Then they have him sing "Try A Little Tenderness" originally sung by Otis Redding in the film? Painful! That song is to be sung by someone that looks like Idris Elba or Delroy Lindo (both in the film), not some teeny-bopper that makes it sound like a pop song. And what is up with the older women attraction for him? He looks like someone's 16 year old kid brother. Damn, Gabrielle Union.
-Speaking of Chris Brown, why is it in the first scene where he had his shirt off, all I could hear was WOOOOOO!!! By all males by the way. Interesting.

The positives are that everyone had something valuable to contribute to the world (except YT), the film looked crisp and professional, and there were no bad wigs and weaves (the make-up was on point, too). Cooning was kept to a bare minimum...as a matter of fact, I don't remember any to speak of. People had nice cars without rims, and no one seemed to live in the ghetto.

If anyone had time to see this, I would really like to know what you thought of it....sucio!



P.S. Everyone: A peaceful journey to Ms. Eartha Kitt.