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Thursday, January 1, 2009

End Of Year Celebrity Shenanigans.....

Good day to y'all. Ms. Invisible never thought she'd make it this far when she started this blog...I was so afraid no one would read it that I almost didn't start it. Now the traffic I get in these parts in a couple hours equals the traffic I got in my entire first month of June 2007, and I notice that I still have a lot of the same readers, along with a sweet influx of new readers...thank you everyone and welcome, welcome! I will try to step up my game this year...well, at least that is my intention.

Ok, enough with the sentiments. Before going out last night I perused the internets with a choco-tini....holy sh*t folkses were trying to send 2008 out with a bang, for reals. I know that this mess is not really Black Cinema related, but you guys know I get down like that sometimes...I just have to share and hear your thoughts on some of this undiluted f*ckery that I come up on....the best way for you to see what I mean is through a pictorial. Some of them left me with almost a loss for words. Almost.

How bout some questionable fashion choices? First up is Macy Gray, whom I'm becoming extremely concerned about. One blogger says she's been showing up to celebrity events "looking like she'd do some 'ho sh*t for a cheeseburger and a Mountain Dew" I would have to agree...I mean she was never what you'd consider a fashion plate, but what has been going on with her as of late is just plain wrong.


Speaking of completely wrong, can someone tell me why, why, why, Star Jones insists on dressing like a 110 pound 22 year old? Frankly I am sick of it, and don't want any more of it assaulting my eyeballs--it's just plain rude of her. I mean, the slack skin, the scars, WTF?


And in case you didn't get enough, here is the view from the back. Do your thing, girl. I guess.

Note to Star Jones (Reynolds): You are not, and never will be, fab. Just deal with it!


Another questionable fashion choice...I can't even guess what could have been on her mind with this ensemble.


And what is the explanation for this winter wear?



Venturing into Macy Gray territory is former (severe emphasis on former) hottie Joaquin Phoenix. He makes the fact that Diddy is also looking a bit ghoulish in this pic a complete non-factor. Did Joaquin quit show biz to become a mountain man? That's the only plausible explanation for this new and disturbing look.


And speaking of disturbing, ummmm....Charles Barkley? If you are wondering why he looks like Uncle Fester jonsin' for a heroin fix, this is his mugshot from his pre-New Year's shenanigans. I can't understand why he was arrested, cause as he told the police officer, he was speeding because "he was on his was to get a blow job". He had gotten one from this trick the week before and "it was the best one he ever had in his life". Yes, he actually said that. Like the officer was gonna say "oh, why didn't you just say so in the first place?" I hope it was worth it, cause he is just as crazy as he looks in this pic. Or maybe he really is on heroin. Or maybe he thinks he's this guy:



Let's cleanse our palate with my first email from Sergio for 2009, shall we? It is a note from him regarding the trailer of Bey's new "movie":

[IW]

Some obvious things:

1) It's one of those lousy trailers that gives away the ENTIRE film. There's no need to see to see it now

2) Bey obviously didn't use any speech coaches this time and uses her own sharecropper country ass accent (from iw-and she had the audacity to intimate that the jacksons were country and ghetto, and said she was raised "upper class")

3) So I guess Kerry Washington wisely passed on this or do they really think Beyonce is going to bring people to the theater?

4) It looks like a real unintentional laugh riot



From IW: Wow....this movie looks so innovative...I know none of us have never, ever, seen a film like this before!

Update: Oh, I forgot this one....make of it what you will.

30 comments:

Marvalus said...

Happy New Year, IW!

Star Jones...my eyes, my eyes!! Why does she insist on trying to be something she is not!?

I'm shocked and appalled at the pic of Jada...she usually does not step out of the house short of fierce!

I saw the pic of Charles Barkley and just busted out laughing...and then I read the story and laughed even louder...this dude needs an intervention!

Lastly, I like Bey, but if she keeps making these movies, I swear I'm going to cross her off my list. But as long as you are able to say her name and the cash register opens, we will all have to suffer through...

Peace and blessings to you! I'm looking forward to what you bring in 2009!

Urban Thought said...

Macy G was never right in the head. I think she has now found her drug of choice and has been dipping into it often.

A lot of this is a result of having yes men in their corner or having no friends who would speak up against the disaster that represented in these pics.

Star Jones needs an intervention. She also needs to take some of that cash and get some of those scares removed.

But I have to appreciate her confidence. It takes a lot of it to do what she is doing and not be insecure about it.

Wesley it too dark to drown himself in that much yellow... A tie is cool but not an entire suit.

I better quit while I'm ahead. I feel like I sound mean yet I have a smile on my face. Let's hope they leave all of this in the disaster 2008. Hopefully they will step their game up and make 2009 the year to drown all these images out of our memories.

Happy New Year IW!!!

I'm glad you started your blog and am pleased that it has been a success. Step your game up or keep doing it the way it is... either way it is greatness.

SolShine7 said...

That Beyonce film is your basic Lifetime movie. For some reason that story never gets old, they'll be repackaging psycho stalker co-worker until kingdom comes.

Anyhow, Happy New Year!

V-Knowledge said...

Those Star Jones pics shorted out my monitor. Thanks a lot, IW.

Ahh, so Stringer Bell & Sasha Fierce are starring in Fatal Attraction '09, eh? Idris Elba is capable of so much more, but for now, we'll always have "The Wire" (I just got into the show recently & am in the middle of season 3. THIS is television!).

Lastly, Happy New Year, IW, and keep the writings flowing!

uglyblackjohn said...

An Affirmative-Action Fatal Atraction?
Damn... you HAD to start the New Year off with those Star Jones pics?

Midnight Raver said...

That Beyonce film -My Eyes, My Eyes, My Eyes.

Ehav Ever said...

To quote the Hamster in Dr. Doolittle. I have just been violated!" I can't believe that with the end of 2008 you would assault my senses with these....these....travesties of justice. Okay, I can believe it.

Concerning the Bey movie. With this hot compact composed garbage, heavily cremated, 2 day old falafal encrusted, why not do a real love story, I never listened to Destiny's Child, (breath breath) 2 cent, please don't give Bey another line "Bardak/Stuyot" (Mess and joke in Hebrew) like that, why didn't they simply flip the script. Like the Temp goes after Bey's character, or their son. Or bey's character goes after the Temp, the CEO, and the mail room clerk. Or the Temp and Bey are twin sisters separated at birth and they married the same man. (Hey if Arnold and Danny could do it why not?)

The whole affair movie is really tired. They always have the same kind of story. Well, what can you do? If this is the direction Hollywood is good I feel a lot safer in a war zone. lol

madame z said...

I am fain to say this is Hollywood. This feature feels so, Lifetime, b-movie, f-movie, horrible-movie to me; but whatever.

And I agree with the poster above, Idris....we'll always have The Wire; FANTASTIC TELEVISION. SUPREME, even.

Star Jones hasn't been giving a damn about showing off her 'cakes' for some time now. I remember seeing pics of her when she was 300 pounds waddling at the beach; at least she wore a one-piece then.

Macy Gray...is she preggers?

Charles Barkely, you too old for this shit man. SMH.

I can't do anything but laugh at that Puffy/Joaquin pic. Something about Joaquin's eyes...it's like he's looking straight into my soul!! LOL

Wesley...please do not wear the banana suit out in public again.

Happy New Year to all :)

madame z said...

Oh one other thing, if Idris can erase HIS accent....ummm, Beyonce? Can you...can I get you to...ummm...yeah, look to that for your next film. Mmmkay? ;)

S. Cooper said...

Happy New Year! IW, you have a great blog...looking forward to reading it in 2009...

Well; now that I got that out of the way, let me move on to the photos...

Star Jones - you are violating the rules...please STOP...

Charles Barkley - just SIT DOWN...now! You've embarrassed yourself, your WIFE, and ruined your chances running for governor.

Macy Gray - looks like she's been smoking more potent stuff than usual...

Beyonce & Idris - good luck the movie, I won't be going to see it. RE: her accent - I've been saying for years that she needs a diction coach...I'm tired of her say witchew instead of "with you"

Eddie Murphy - I went back to his old song "Put Your Mouth on Me" when I saw the pic....lol...

clnmike said...

Man I really did not need to see Star jones in a swim suit for the start of the new year.

Divalocity said...

Now why do you and the rest have to go and knock Star Jones? She may not be one of your favorites but the lady is brilliant. I don't think many of us are perfect are we? She is Fabulous to Star and you know how that goes? Our opinions, comments and thoughts are insignificant when you self-define who you are. And I personally think Star Jones self-defines.

Wishing all of you an inspiring, prosperous and uplifting New Year, free of negativity and denial!

boris said...

-Bey Movie: sometimes hollywood has shitty cheap crap movies and they use 'stars' to help em make more than a few pennies at the box office. that Bey movie will be KO'ed by all them comic book movies. xmen4 > bey's shit

-Macy: i like her music and used to like her swag now its gone downhill

-Star Jones: puuuke. look at that flat ass. in this era of botox and surgery......she needs to ask angel lola luv(is it her?) and kim kardashian for surgeons

-yo boy Blade: *sings* "hop on out tha beeeed, tuuurn my swag oooooon. took a look in the mirror said wassup" - Souljah Boy

-Joaquin Phoenix: * imdb's Joaquin Phoenix*. oooh him. aha yeah he was good lookin. Ciroc Obama doesnt like his new look

-CHarles Barkley: yo uncle can kiss his political dreams goodbye. how r u gonna snitch on uself and try 2 be president. SMH

PS: who's the guy with the E shirt

sdg1844 said...

Charles Barkley is a fool.
Joaquin has always creeped me out even with his talent. He is now even creepier.
Poor Star Jones
Eddie Murphy is just done.
As for Bey and Idris, I'll pass on the film. Her petty snipe about the Jackson family was "low class" for all her high brow aspirations.
$$$ can't buy class and she needs to get that point or she will continue to embarrass herself.

Mes Deux Cents said...

Hi IW,

First; I was eating when those Star Jones pics poped up on my screen. Please warn us next time! lol

And I think I read somewhere that that Beyonce film is going str8 to dvd?

Tha Connoisseur said...

Happy New Year lovely!!

Ok, all I will say is - perhaps Eddie is singing the acoustic version to "Party All The Time?"

Regina said...

Happy New year to you & yours IW!!

Star Jones - hey whatever works for her! If she has the confidence to wear it, than do your thing!

I was stuck trying to guess who the homeless looking person was and then I saw that Marva mentioned JADA!! OMG! I had to go back and look at it again and again...

Wesley knows he is too Da__ black for all that yellow!
Barkley - no words...just laughter!
Macy Gray - no one even cares.
Phoenix - Charles Manson.

Bey - something else NOT to go see, I'll just watch fatal attraction, you know a movie with real actors...

Vérité Parlant said...

Ugh. These pictures are horrible. Thank you. They snapped me out of a temporary inferiority complex from the beautiful people. Airbrushing must really work miracles.

The Jada pic was a shocker. And I'm concerned for Macy too, looks like classic depressed woman.

Shelia said...

Happy New Year IW!!

I "glanced" over those photos. I couldn't stay long because I need a shot of something 100 proof to pay strict attention to these images.

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Hey homie! {daps}

I know I am late doing my drive-bys to give "Happy New Year!!" greetings!!

Well, it's the 6th so at least I'm still in the first week of the new year!! (smiles)

Star thinks she looks so good now that she's not a size 24. She may not be a tone size 12 beats a size 24. I'd have to agree with her on that.

(smiles)

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Lisa

P.S. Just a teensy reminder...I am the only sista in my blog category in The WEBLOG Awards and the polls are open! So jump in and vote! One vote per computer per day is allowed. Ya got about three computers at the crib right?? *LOL* *LOL*

charcoalink said...

Peoples, I'm going to need you to leave Bee alone!

Don't make me bring the stan out of me :)

Love this site, IW. I'm always checking 4 you and Orville in my feed.

Stay black!
--aulelia

must love movies said...

how are you

Invisible Woman said...

@ms. m: happy new year girl! I have been reading your blog every day, but haven't left a comment in a long time--I resolute to change that in 2009! haha

@UT: aw shucks **blushing** i am glad that i made you smile--but even when you join me in my gossipy moods, you still manage to sound so positive! how do you do that?

I love when you come around--thanks for being here, and i hope this year is a billion times better for you than the last one :-)

@solshine: you're right it never gets old, and i always end up watching it :-(

@v-knowledge: happy new year! :-) i am slowly beginning to wonder if "the wire" was just a fluke for idris, cause honestly, i haven't seen him do anything truly decent since...

@ubj: sorry about that--but thanks for hanging in like a trooper, lol. happy new year; i enjoyed your post about your ummmm....interesting new year's meals. (yuck!) :-)

Invisible Woman said...

@midnight raver: agreed!

@ehav: "With this hot compact composed garbage, heavily cremated, 2 day old falafal encrusted" DAMN! haha!

you are completly right tho, why not do a Black love story? one with nudity and some sex scenes to spice things up? i haven't seen anything like that since blackexploitation, for reals.

@madame z: "it's like he's looking straight into my soul!!"

right? that sh*t almost hypnotized me into submission, lol! as for bey, you can take the girl out of the ghetto, et. al.

happy new year!

@s.cooper: you are too funny! put your mouth on me? i forgot all about that one...nasty! lol

@clnmike? but didn't you say you love all sizes of women? especially those with confidence? lol!!

Invisible Woman said...

@divalocity: hi there...don't know if you are a regular reader, but i do gossip from time to time, and i absolutely enjoy it. it mixes things up a bit.

in one way, i have to give it to star for trying to project what she wants to be, but sommetimes you have to accept your limitations and parlay them. star makes herself the object of fodder--going to the very, very high profile ivy, cannes, st. bart's--in short, she is a media whore...we all saw that with her wedding. and if put yourself in that position, all is fair for speculation...and she very obviously WANTS to be talked about, good or bad.

@boris: i so agree with you about Macy--she had this "i don't give a f*ck attitude that i used to adore, but now she seems to have slid off into a deep, dark, and scary territory.

@sdg1844: re bey, "$$$ can't buy class and she needs to get that point or she will continue to embarrass herself"

can someone PLEASE put up a neon sign for her to read?

@mes deux: hi there! happy new year, hope all is well :-) sorry about the star thing, but i was just dumbfounded. the bey movie should def go to DVD, but they might think Bey will sell tickets...who knows, america can be so fickle sometimes :-(

Tha Connoisseur: happy new year to you! i don't know what eddie is singing, but he is obviously feeling himself...good for him, haha.

Invisible Woman said...

@regina: happy new year beautiful! you thought jada was homeless? lmao--but there really is NO excuse for someone with that kinda money looking like that...i wonder what was going on?

@Vérité Parlant: airbrushing is the business! if only we could all do it in real life, ya know?

@mustlovemovies: girl, you know how it is--real life gets in the way sometimes! happy new year.

@shelia: hi sweetie, happy new year! :-) make sure to pour a very stiff one in honor of your favorite cocktail lovin' blogger, aka me. haha

@lisa: hi there! happy new year, haven't seen you in a while--good to see you :-) i will most def vote for you, of course!

@charcoalink: you know i love ya girl--i promise to keep my bey ish talking to a minimum in 2009---maybe once a month instead of once a week, haha.

Cheron L. Hall said...

Funny as hell!

Wonder Man said...

lay hands on Star and Macy

Invisible Woman said...

@cheron: hi there...thanks :-)

@wonderman: i think macy needs an exorcism at this point...

belledame222 said...

per the bikini pic: I dunno, I kind of feel like--before gym culture and especially airbrushing, that was just what women -looked- like. Look like, mostly. 22 or not. I think she looks fine, normal, really; wtf, people have scars and don't all have six-pack abs, I don't see why only .0002% of the population should ever get to bare skin, yanno?

The fashion choices downthread, though...yeah, no, really...no.