Subscribe

RSS Feed (xml)


Powered By

Site Design By:
Blogs Gone Wild!

Powered by Blogger

Saturday, April 25, 2009

When It All Falls Down....

I think I ruffled a few feathers not too long ago when I stated that "age was the enemy" on the post I did on Jimmy "J.J" Walker and Boy George, alluding to their rapid deterioration and alarming visages. Some said "It's not age, it's lifestyle!" True, that is a factor, but you can be the exercisinest veganist vegan, and it all hits the end of the road somewhere. I started thinking of this subject for several reasons...the first one being this:


That these two that practically anyone, at any time, at any place, would have smashed in the 90's end up looking like Michael Jackson's unholy apprentices. I just don't get it. NOTE TO HOLLYWOOD: Make a beeline to whomever works on Halle Barry and Jennifer Lopez and call it a day! Those two should be the only working plastic surgeons in the world. Period.



Yes, age is devastating, as was witnessed on the "American Idol" disco medley the other day. Much has been made of how "ancient" the guests were, but if any of the readers of this blog look like Freda Payne (67 in Sept), or Thelma Houston (63 in a yellow dress showing a massive amount of leg) at their ages, please let me know. As for KC of KC and the Sunshine Band....well, let's just say he is dealing with a numerous amount of the white man's burdens.





Another example of the perils of aging is the disappointing film I watched the other day, "Original Gangstas". I was very happy to live with the memory of the fine-ass (and I do mean ass) Fred Williamson, aka 'The Hammer' from the 70's, and this film was an unwelcome jolt of reality. It is a vengeance movie that brings together Williamson, Jim Brown (wearing this life's most unfortunate kufi to cover an even more unfortunate bald spot), Ron O'Neal (Superfly, looking like the cashier/weed dealer at your nearest bodega), Richard Roundtree (Shaft), and Pam Grier (Foxy Brown, with hair looking like it hasn't seen the working end of a flat iron for several decades). You would think bringing together the most iconic icons of 70's Blaxploitation would be the sh*t, but sadly, I was left wishing everyone would have just rested on their laurels, and all I wanted to do was hand out Restalyne and Ab Rollers to everyone involved :-(




But there are other things that can cause it to all fall down, most prolific being stupidity. Rapper/actor Xzibit is about to lose his house to foreclosure, after 100 years of "Pimp My Ride" and it's reruns. Terrence Howard is still whining about losing his part in "Ironman". Ummm....T? Everyone involved with this film has been a professional for years. You mumble, sleepwalk, and use your "quivering voice" at dramatic pauses, then proceed to jack your price up sky high? That is exactly why you are in some fucked up movie called "Fighting" with the other weirdest Black man in Hollywood, Roger Guenveur Smith, who is probably your doppelganger, and playing second fiddle to Channing Tatum, whoever that is. Maybe you can pick up where Wesley Snipes left off.

A loooong way from wearing Ironman's suit of armor, yes?



Stupidity coupled with being low budget is definitely the way to make it fall down. Idris Elba now refuses to do press junkets and attend the premieres of his masterpiece "Obsessed". Negro, you were on "The Wire". Did you even read the script for this POS? I'm assuming not, as it surely would have ended up in "the circular file" as my grandfather used to say--aka the wastebasket. Don't act all brand new now. What did you possibly hope to accomplish starring opposite Beyonce and Ali Larter, in a film that was produced by the dude that did "3 Can Play That Game?" Falling down, dude. Hard.



But nobody has fallen as hard in my recent memory as this next one. I watched a bootleg (yes, I'm going to Heck) of "Single Black Female", which is without exception the very worst film ever made, ever. It looked like it was filmed on a 1999 Nokia phone, yet I was could not stop watching it. I was completely transfixed by it's unbelievable horribleness--I think I was hypnotized. Beyonce can make a thousand "Obsesseds" and it wouldn't even come close to the stench of this flick. It "stars" Farrah Something Or Other, who used to be in Destiny's Child, and obviously that will forever be the zenith in her life till the grave. Yes, age is no joke, but combine being stupid, low budget, AND talentless and there is nowhere to go but down. Behold:




So I stand corrected, age is not the only enemy, but it is still definitely in the top five!

27 comments:

Tafari said...

OK, I choked mid post after reading "...let's just say he is dealing with a numerous amount of the white man's burdens."

This post is why loves me some you! But you need a kick in the ankle for even getting a bootleg of SBF. Who bank rolled that shit???

Tafari

msladydeborah said...

IW,

I'm a BBB. (Black Baby Boomer)Let me share my thoughts with you about aging.

If you live long enough your body will show time on it. How you lived as a young woman or young man will tell its story when you mature. Not every aging person is in bad shape. But genetics have a lot to do with that process as well.

This is a society that pastures out its older citizens. Some of them really need to go sit down and rest. They have worked their bodies into bad health over the course of their lifetime. While other older people are still able to be physically fit and look good for their age.

This society is obsessed with youth. How much money is spent annually on looking younger than you are? 40 is the new 20. 50 is the new 40. etc. etc. Why? Because now that the younger generations of hip hop, rock and pop are in those groups, they discovered what we did. It isn't like any of us thought it would be.

The Entertainment Industry is a glamour profession. It is also an ageist profession. Some of the best actresses and actors are now older. If there was no such thing as a make-up artist some of the most attractive people on screen would not be seen that way.

I have three good friends who didn't make it to my age-55. They all died of natural causes. If I had to make my choice-growing older and not looking like I did in my younger years is fine with me.

My mom is 76 and she has banging legs still-they hurt like hell-but shape wise-they still turn heads. She also looks good for her age. Which is more realistic than going around having yourself chopped, diced and sliced up to try and maintain a fake sense of security about growing older. Once you start that crap you have to maintain it. Joan Rivers looks like a plastic doll without a pull string. She is more unattractive than attractive. She looks unnatural and that is the key in my mind. To just look decent for your age.

As far as bad career choices are concerned-everyone makes those errors. Some more often than others.

I never liked The Hammer. He will forever be an A-Hole Supreme in my personal opinion. He was always arrogant and anti-woman. I have no love for Jim Brown at all. He was once a serious woman beater and terrorizer. He got ghetto passed too damn much for my taste. Their movies were not that great. And I never considered either one of them to be actors. They were celebs who were selected for parts in a movie.

Invisible Woman said...

tafari: me loves you too! :-)

boy, you know i didn't buy that bootleg--i watched someone else's. as for the financing, have you heard the term "f*ckin' for tracks"? i'm sure there must be a term for it in the movie biz...oh yeah "casting couch!"

@ms lady: all just jokes, girl. that's why i brought up the AI thing, i thought it was ridiculous that the younger folks thought that the artists had no cause or merit to be there, simply because of their age. also alluded to the fact that most plastic surgeons just ruin your face for the worse.

trust me, i am no spring chicken myself, and in my world of exercising, eating right, taking supplements and applying creams, it IS a battle every day to keep looking good, for reals.

Very agreed on Jim Browm, and the misogyny of he and Williamson's movies. Every era goes through a theme, and in the 70's, Black women lost out. But that ass of the Hammer's was a classic all the way.....as for the acting--a lot of people that are in films today are definitely not my definition of "actor" Common, anyone?

LadyT said...

Umm, Idris did give press junkets and attended the premiere of movie! Google him for press on Obsessed and then Wire & Getty Images for premiere night photos, HE WAS THERE! You and or your sources haven't a clue.

Also, that is the beauty of being an actor or actress, you adapt to the role/script that you are doing! He can't always play the gangster role!

Invisible Woman said...

welcome lady t. if you noticed I stated "premieres" as in plural. maybe daddy knowles talked him into an 11th hour appearance at the one you are referring to, but it has been widely reported that he has been very resistant to future premieres and current publicity.

if anything the readers of this blog know, is that i definitely have a clue when it comes to all things film. can you name a decent film that idris has been in since he left the wire? maybe i missed one. no one is asking him to be a gangster, to be certain, just in a movie with some merit.

btw, does "t" stand for tina, as in tina knowles? just askin'.

madame z said...

@ IW,

Girl you know I love your posts. Been missing you! So glad I clicked on the site today.

But there are other things that can cause it to all fall down, most prolific being stupidity. Rapper/actor Xhibit is about to lose his house to foreclosure, after 100 years of "Pimp My Ride" and it's reruns. Terrence Howard is still whining about losing his part in "Ironman". Ummm....T? Everyone involved with this film has been a professional for years. You mumble, sleepwalk, and use your "quivering voice" at dramatic pauses, then proceed to jack your price up sky high? That is exactly why you are in some fucked up movie called "Fighting" with the other weirdest Black man in Hollywood, Roger Guenveur Smith, who is probably your doppelganger, and playing second fiddle to Channing Tatum, whoever that is. Maybe you can pick up where Wesley Snipes left off.CTFU. I can't. I won't! This had me rolling. And girl it's just so true...love this.

Stupidity coupled with being low budget is definitely the way to make it fall down. Idris Elba now refuses to do press junkets and attend the premieres of his masterpiece "Obsessed". Negro, you were on "The Wire". Did you even read the script for this POS? I'm assuming not, as it surely would have ended up in "the circular file" as my grandfather used to say--aka the wastebasket. Don't act all brand new now. What did you possibly hope to accomplish starring opposite Beyonce and Ali Larter, in a film that was produced by the dude that did "3 Can Play That Game?" Falling down, dude. Hard.Word on the skreet is that the movie is actually making money. Reviews (from fans) that I've read view it as a comedy though it's billed as a thriller. I think the draw for this film is the eye-candy and the girl-fight at the end and also a chance for folk to snicker at Beyaweh's "acting skills". And to the filmmaker/producer/director's credit, he had something to do with Stomp the Yard which personally I viewed once and thought was okay...

Racialicious.com did a post about this feature, highlighting the interracial aspect as a draw for the film. But back to what I was saying, supposedly it will do 20 million this weekend. I think it'll be both a blessing and a curse: a blessing in the Beyaweh and her "machine" (Idris's word, not mine) will have the opportunity to bring about another travesty starring the annointed one. And it's a blessing because it gives the co-stars some exposure: Ali Larter, more famed for her role on "Heroes" and of course, Idris Elba, who some are treating like he's never acted in a film before. He's done "The Wire" as you mentioned and other films and is a damn good actor; unlike Ms. Carter who I wonder if she even 'tried' to get rid of her slow, drawl, 'accent'....let me stop; bish didn't try at all. That's not "Robin" or whatever her character's name is on the screen, that's BEYONCE through and through. Acting much? No, not really. LOL. It'll be a curse because it will swell "The Machine's" head even further.

Films Idris has been in, one that notably sticks out for me since I watched it like a month ago, RockNRolla that Guy Ritchie production which was overhyped and which I only marginally enjoyed. And bummer, he was a 'gangster' in that one. LOL. For what it's worth he and Gerry Butler had great comedic chemistry. *shrugs* Or maybe I'm just reaching...

And yeah, he only showed for the 'one' press junket. Boo on you, Idris. LOL.

In my humble opinion, the true stars of this film were: Ali's body, Idris' sexy sans the facial hair, and Beyonce's wig. LOL.

God bless you for watching Single White Female there's no way I'd ever touch that shit. LOL.

Oh and by the by, took me a year but I watched To Be Young, Black and Sexy and I really liked it. It was...interesting. :)

Keli said...

I don't know if it's age, or more so them trying to fight the inevitable...I mean, look at Vivica Foxx...trying to stay young...now she looks like Madam.

Idris hopped on this train for the check...or maybe, just maybe, he thought he would be the big star and this would be his breakout big screen role...not sure what he was thinking, but Obsessed looks like one of this made for TV movies of the week.

charcoalink said...

IW,

You better leave Bey alone!

Obsessed made $28M! Now, I'm not american but I heard that was good, right?

I think B needs to do less films that her father has co-produced etc. And I heard that Idris was sick as well as to why he didn't do press for the film.

LadyT said...

Exactly Charcoal, 28 mil is lot for opening and garbage doesn't make money! Idris was sick, but he came out for the premiere!

Invisible Woman, if u know about film industry, then you know THERE IS ONLY ONE PREMIERE night for any given movie!! There isn't more than one. You might know films, but I try to stay abreast of all and anything Idris, I have a group club about him on yahoo and try to stay informed and up-to-date on whatever he is doing to keep my members informed! He was sick, but he did make the premiere for movie and he gave more than ONE press junket!

Fyi, T stands for Tonya! NOT Tina, lol I wish I could have her duckets, but that is all! LOL I love being me!!

If you read some of his interviews from in the past, he doesn't like premieres, interviews, HE LOVES MAKING MOVIES, but not all that Hollywood high class shit that goes with the territory! Like to be low key!! Read his interviews!

And Daddy Little Girls had much merit! There aren't too many movies of Black men shown in the positive light like Monty was!

I like your blog, have visited before, just felt the need to comment on my boy!! Thanks and have a wonderful day!

Keep up the great work!

Issa Rae said...

Damn are people REALLY standing up for "Obsessed"?! Yes, it made $28.5 million but that does NOT make it a good movie!

And I'm SO curious to see 'Single Black Female' now. LMAO @ "It looked like it was filmed on a 1999 Nokia phone" -- hilarious. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment and suffering? And maybe members of Destiny's Child (past and present) just shouldn't make films. How 'bout THAT.

Invisible Woman said...

@charcoal and lady t: yes, it made 28 mill, but a) it had virtually no competition b) garbage makes money all the time

the premieres i was referring to are the future ones in other countries, as well as the talk show circuit. and even someone who doesn't know the industry should know by now that "sick" is a catch all for the hundreds of situations in which an actor is not feeling a project or obligation. trust me.

anyhoo, always glad to have you ladies here, and i value your opinions...just be aware that sometimes a huge publicity machine is at work :-)

Invisible Woman said...

Hey Issa--i wrote that comment above before I saw yours--girl thanks. i was starting to wonder what was going on in the world...

see SBF at your own risk, don't say i didn't warn you! lol

omar said...

"...Karrrmmmaa..." LMAO!!

eeaster said...

This post is too funny. Thanks for outing Roger G Smith and his weirdness. Just what the fuck is his deal anyhow? The man seems incapable of transitioning his overwrought stage moves to a camera that's THISCLOSE to his face.

LadyT said...

I guess we can agree to disagree! Individual results varies, what some find good, others might find it to be garbage and vice versa! There are some movies I think he should have given "NO PRESS ON", but he did, so when you say sick is a "copout" so to speak in the industry, I beg to differ! Thanks for the welcome, looking forward to more greatness from your blogs! Peace~T~

Tafari said...

LadyT mentioned Daddy's Little Girls & I almost threw up in my mouth. It has to be on my top ten list for worst black films this decade.

Idris/Monty was a week man & poor father. I was pissed start to finish for many reason.

Keli - you killed me with Viv looking like Madame. She sure does & that is so damn sad!

And 28 mil is good but like IW said, the movie came out with a crop of shit (excluding the Soloist) so the competition was not there. Black audiences in large don't support intelligent films. I don't see hear many people talking about it & that too is a shame.

Im done!

Tafari

SDG said...

Look who's back with all her sass and vinegar! Funny post and so much "fail" going on on Hollyweird right now.

I can't even speak on Idris and his film choices. I did enjoy him in Guy Ritchie's "RocknRolla".

I didn't see "Obsessed" because I've already seen "Fatal Attraction" which is a classic. Terence and Roger are strange as hell. It's not even good strange.

Damn! Xzibit done lost his house? What in the hell is going on? I give up on Negroes sometimes. I really do.

eby said...

LMAO at SBF. By the look at the cover, it looks like pure foolishness. Why did one of your friend's have this bootleg? And Idris does really need to step up his movie game. I think he's talented enough to hold out for movies better than Obsessed. I've never been crazy about Terrance Howard's acting, so if he goes away, I'll live.

Mz.Bria2U said...

at first when watching the preview of Obsessed, I got caught up in the 'Ronnie/Diamond' fight scene they kept showing. However, all that has died down and I thought, before I drop my hard earned $$ I need to see what you had to say about Obsessed. thanks for helping me to Recognize!! And Idris know he's wrong as hell-he better chill b4 'Yonce's no acting azz has his azz blacklisted!!

Reel Whore said...

I can't believe you called out Roger G Smith - I loved watching that guy back in the day.

Dunno why, I used to think he and John C. McGinley were brothers from different mothers when they first hit the scene. Sadly, McGinley has become a hilarious must-have character actor and Roger G is, well, still Roger G.

Single Black Female!?! Words can't begin to express how horrid that looked...Can't believe you sat thru the whole thing!

Daro Rupiawan said...

see any posts you style is very unique, I am happy with the way you present article so interesting to read

Regina said...

Roarke is a hot, nasty, mess! when I saw him on some tv show I almost died (with laughter), he really aged badly.
I love Idris and will give him a pass until things get really ugly!
I love Single, White Female, that was one of my favorite movies but I would not touch SBF with ten foot pole...

Invisible Woman said...

@madame z: 'In my humble opinion, the true stars of this film were: Ali's body, Idris' sexy sans the facial hair, and Beyonce's wig. LOL.'

girl, i saw that movie, and i must say, the "star" of Beyonce's weave was wearing me out--it was as big as the Mattahorn at Disneyland!


@ keli: straight lifetime tv honey, period.

@omar: and believe it or not, that wasn't even the worst of it! :-(

@eeaster: every time i see him in something i ALWAYS think the same thing; "what the f*ck was that?!" lol, for real...

@tafari: daddy's little girls=hot, red, smokin' garbage

@SDG: just call me Ms. S & V! haha

and about the not good strange--girl you ain't nevah lied!

Invisible Woman said...

@eby: welcome. about sbf; unfortunately, i will watch just about anything when it comes to black cinema--unfortunately, i usually end up regretting it :-(

@Bria: hey girl!!! :-)

please please please don't see that movie unless there is absolutely no coin involved!

@reelwhore: mcginley? really?! hmmm...dunno

@Daro Rupiawan: thanks! come back when i'm up again...

@regina: you better make that a hundred foot pole--lol!

Reel Whore said...

I don't know where my McGinley-Roger G confusion ccame from. I thought it was cuz I saw them in similar roles around the same times. Here's some flicks they both starred during my formative film years:

McGinley: Wall Street, Point Break, On Deadly Ground, Surviving the Game

Roger G: Deep Cover, Poetic Justice, Tales from the Hood,

It doesn't look all that similar now. I bet it's cuz they both play douchebags/jackasses so well.

nickelforathought said...

didn't know that bit about Idris and the press for Obsessed. I don't blame him, but like you said, he should have thought that one through.

and, you know, although i thought it was a bad movie, it's rather enjoyable, definitely worth the laughs. i've hardly seen worse scriptwriting and overdone aerial shots. but the man did the best her could do with a crappy role.

i'm guilty of being the person who'll watch any movie that brother is in (he hooked me with The Wire, and i think many of us are just waiting for him to do something that compares in quality to his role in that show).

anyway, thanks for the post.

bklyn6 said...

Keli said: I mean, look at Vivica Foxx...trying to stay young...now she looks like Madam.LOL. Or, how about Jiffy?

Re: aging.... I always say, "Good black, don't crack." The operative word of course is, "good."