F*ckery All Around Me...

I know my posting has been spotty. The truth is, I've finished a transition back to the Bay Area to be closer to my parents, and I miss L.A. terribly...I will probably have to have residences in both places to keep everyone happy, the main person being me.

The weather has been atrocious in the Bay; cold, rainy, windy--the kind of weather that puts me in a deep, grouchy funk, as I am very, very much a sunshine person. I think my blogging has been affected as well...but fear not--I have come out of my cave for a moment to comment on some of the f*ckery that keeps slapping me in the face, haha.


How can I not say anything about the severe and unmitigated f*ckery that is Samuel Jackson? After being the super-overexposed version of Beyonce in the movie biz, he seems to want to dare us to hate him. He has signed on to do 9, yes nine, yes IX more pictures as the character Nick Fury. Is there anyone in life we want to see that much? I would saw off someone's foot to get close to Dwayne The Rock Johnson, but even I wouldn't want to see him in nine freaking pictures playing the same character. Just boo!


Also on my grouch radar is Tyler Perry. I said to myself that I wasn't going to dedicate anymore space to his projects except for straight reportage, but gawtdayum, a movie version of "I Can Do Bad All By Myself"? What next--Stepin Fetchit on Parade? I mean, that play was all sorts of funny, but it puts the chitlin', fatback, and hog maws in chitlin' circuit.


Speaking of chitlins, for some crazy Black History f*ckery, check out Thembi's post on white (and Black) America's tributes to our so-called history and tastes. True WTF?!? shenanigans if you ever saw it!


I kept silent about Slickback's stupid statement about the Chris Brown/Rihanna debacle (my advice still stands to only speak through a publicist, Terrence), and it is even more stupid as he was arrested for the exact same thing a few years back.

But what is this that Chris Brown was to star with Fantasia as Harpo in the Washington D.C. stage play version of "The Color Purple" (which he has been dropped from)? Remember this line? "You told Harpo to beat me!" Ummmm...ironeeeee....


Just setting my grouch/disgust factor off the charts is Marlon Jackson's complete lunacy about building a slavery theme park, complete with golf courses, spas, etc., coupled with a Jackson family museum. How much do we really know about Marlon? I mean he has never really said much before....how do we know he might not have some mild form of autism or something like that? All signs point to it with an idea so stupid I can dedicate 3 posts to it.


And finally, just the type of f*ckery that wears one to the bone--why, Whoopi, why?


Not that her wardrobe of choice should be any surprise. Let's take a look at some of her other Oscars dress choices, yes?





Clearly this woman has never been introduced to, or been within a 50 mile radius of a stylist, ever.


Okay, rants over. Just to balance out my mid-winter crotchetiness is some good news. I will be starting a sort of West Coast version of Reelblack, showing screenings of yet to be released independant and rarely seen throwback films, along with talks with actors, directors, etc. this summer called "Black Cinema At Large". Those of you in the Bay are very welcome to hang with yours truly. Each event will be posted on this blog so stay tuned, and stay blessed :-)

Umm, Black Box Office Wins, I Guess (?)

Normally I wouldn't write about these two films, as in my eyes they do not constitute what I define as black cinema....from Black Talent News:

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Oscar winner Jamie Foxx led the box office this weekend taking the number 1 and 2 spots with Disney's "Game Plan" and Universal's "The Kingdom," respectively.

The PG family comedy, "The Game Plan," stars Johnson as a superstar football quarterback and bachelor whose lifestyle is disrupted with he finds out he has a daughter. It open No. 1 with $22.7 million, according to Media By Numbers. averaged a solid $7,307 from 3,103 theaters. "Game Plan" marked The Rock's second biggest opening ever in a lead role after 2002's "The Scorpion King" with opened with $36.1 million.

The R-rated "The Kingdom" stars Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman and Chris Cooper as members of a U.S. team investigating a terrorist attack in Saudi Arabia. It debuted at No. 2 with $17.7 million, averaging $6,335 from 2,793 locations.

Also debuting nationwide, MGM's "Feast of Love," starring Morgan Freeman, didn't fare as well opening in the No. 11 spot and earning only $1.8 million from 1,200 theatres .

From IW: Now leaving my geriatric husband out of this one (Morgan), how does one define a "Black Film"? My definition is that the cast has to be at least two thirds black, or there has to be a heavily defined black theme/plot/storyline. I don't necessarily believe that the director has to be black, though that would definitely add weight to the definition of black cinema. Black distribution would help immensely as well. What do you guys think? Do these 2 films count as a win for our community?

My Fourth Husband's Next Shady Move

From one third of The Negro Justice League, Supernegro's site:

The Rock has played both the face and the heel in his WWE wrasslin' career, but it looks like the former People's Champ and semi-movie star is once again split on which side of the fence he should ride. Dwayne Johnson's in discussion to play both the hero and the baddie in the upcoming Shazam movie, and he wants MTV viewers to help sway the decision.

"Shazam, of course, I would love to play. They approached me about [Captain Marvel] and [villain] Black Adam as well," he revealed. "We've been meeting for months. We're toying with either one. I think it's up to the fans. Without question."

Now, I always thought Shazam to be a pretty assy hero, although my homie dburt over at Afronerd is digging on the new stories. He's the alter-ego of a 13-year old kid who houses the smarts of Solomon, the muscle of Hercules, the endurance of Atlas, the power of Zeus, and the balls of Achilles, and the swiftness of Mercury. He's pretty much the immovable object in the D.C. Universe, but like any good hero, he has a great nemesis. Black Adam was a previous Shazam weilder and one of those crazy 'ol evil Arabs that America just loves to hate, so the Rock's natural tan may give him the nudge in that direction on a purely superficial level.

If you'd like to cast your vote, head over to the MTV Movie Blog and sound off. - Jay Wilson

From IW: Alrighty then.

Ummm....okay

Maybe I better rethink my marriage plans to The Rock. From Black Talent News:

Wrestler-turned-actor Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson ("The Scorpion King") is set to star in a new "Witch Mountain" movie for Disney. The Rock will play a Vegas cab driver who picks up two children with magical powers.

The film is a remake of the 1975 family film "Escape From Witch Mountain" which was based on the Alexander Key novel, which follows the adventures of siblings Tony and Tia, who discover they have special powers and aren't from this world. Chased by men who would use their powers for evil, the two escape to the mysterious Witch Mountain.

Andy Fickman is slated to direct with shooting due to get underway in early 2008. Fickman recently completed "The Game Plan" with The Rock.

From I.W.: Okay, there is nobody alive that didn't like the original...I just hope they don't eff it up with a bunch of special effects and that super loud Disney music we all know so well. I don't blame Rock tho, once you venture into family films, you can coast and keep your wallet padded into infinity....right Eddie and Will?