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Friday, February 8, 2008

You Be The Judge.....


A question was proposed over at the sitcom that is "O Hell Nawl!". Slausin Azz Slaus a.k.a. Senor Beige, was wondering about the new movie "Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins" in the post "Damn you, James Earl Jones!".

He said from the look of the trailer, it looks like coonery at it's top level finest, but would Mr. Earl Jones allow himself to participate in such shenanigans?

To which I say this. Name 2 films James has done since he was the voice of Darth Vader. You do the math.


Which brings me to this email reader Fred Halpern (or maybe Nikki Rocco) sent me:

"Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins got a scathing review. Must read below. The reviewer literally says the film is so bad that she wants to slap the filmmakers, everyone involved with the film, and especially actress Monique in the face!"

From IW: Dayum! Here is the review from Hollywood Bitchslap:


Obnoxious comedian Martin Lawrence plays an obnoxious talk-show host who takes his obnoxious “Survivor”-winner fiancĂ©e (Joy Bryant) home to Georgia for his parents’ 50th wedding anniversary, where he suffers many humiliations at the hands of his obnoxious family members. Not to spoil the ending for you, but he ultimately learns a valuable lesson about the importance of family. Yeah, I was surprised, too.

I'll be shocked if this doesn't turn out to be the single worst movie I see in 2008, because right now it's impossible to imagine that anything released in the next 11 months could be more trite and aggressively unfunny than this piece of shit. James Earl Jones and Margaret Avery play the parents, and law enforcement officials should look into whether their real-life families were being held hostage at an undisclosed location to ensure their cooperation -- that's the only reason I can think of why either of them would have agreed to appear in this dreck.

The 50th anniversary reunion setup provides a rich canvas of cliches, onto which Lawrence and director Malcolm D. Lee fling feces like incontinent circus monkeys. Lawrence's girlfriend won't let him eat meat -- so boy, is she mad when she sees his face all covered with barbecue! Lawrence's car-dealer cousin (Cedric the Entertainer) always beat him at everything when they were kids -- so don't you know it, they face off in the annual obstacle course race! And boy-oh-boy, it's high-larious when they're fighting and they end up in the kitchen, sending all of the fried fish flying into the air and covering the women-folk in batter and foodstuffs!!

It's the sort of film that leaves no crotch unkicked, no head unbonked, and no opportunity for insult unsaid. In particular, there's "comedienne" Mo'Nique as a badly dressed, Bible-thumping, man-hungry, utterly abhorrent bitch, who's both the butt of a number of dumb, distasteful fat jokes and the instigator of some of Lawrence's ugliest humiliations. At one point the pair, who play brother and sister, get into a down-and-dirty physical fight, and he punches her in the face -- and I was glad. I'd wanted to punch her in the face myself for at least 40 minutes. In fact, if I ever meet her in person I'm going to slap her and yell, "That's for Roscoe fucking Jenkins!" Everyone involved in the making of this movie deserves to be punched in the cock. Even James Earl Jones.

Let's not forget the comedic possibilities of dogs, either, and the uproarious comedy that comes from canine sex. Early in the film, there's a squirm-inducing scene with Lawrence and Bryant having girl-on-top sex, with Lawrence making a whole lot of those eye-crossed faces that he thinks are funny. Later, it's established that Lawrence's family dog is a "playa" and that they should keep an eye on Bryant's tiny little bitch, Fifi ... and if you can't see where this is going, then you're functionally retarded. What you probably couldn't predict though, is that the payoff involves an unbelievably repellent, extended gag involving Fifi riding the male dog like Bryant was riding Lawrence -- which is not only biologically impossible (I think. I hope.) but shot with the sort of loving attention to detail that's generally reserved for double-penetration porn videos.

To adequately describe how horrifically bad "Roscoe Jenkins" is, I'd have to catalog every single "joke" of the movie's two hours (yes ... it's TWO HOURS LONG) and I can't relive it. I just can't. Honestly, like the survivor of some sort of traumatic personal violation, my first instinct is to just bury the memory and pretend that it never happened. It doesn't take away the scar, but at least I'll be able to get on with my life.


From IW: Alrighty then, tell us how you really feel, haha! Following is the trailer in question Slaus referred to....if anyone goes to see this, PLEASE tell me what you thought. Sucio!

29 comments:

darkbrotha said...

WOW! every time i see the previews i think about staying away from this movie. but when i was at the barbershop they were flipping through the channels and the cast or whatever was on Oprah. i know she had to have gotten an advance copy of the movie before having the "B" level cast on her show right?

Danielle said...

Oooooo we! That review was no joke, but it has to be said. We have got to cut this nonsense out. I mean damn. Is this all we're capable of?

Slausin-Ass Slaus said...

Thanks for elaborating on this one Invis! I knew you were the go to person on this issue.

As much as I love me some James Earl Jones, I cant even participate in such niggadry.

thanks again!!

Anonymous said...

IW. It makes me a little sad that this movie has received this kind of review. Partially because as an African American you want to have high hopes for all things brown and partially because I think that overall Martin Lawrence is funny (forgive me comedic gods). But since I haven't seen the movie (for fear that you are right...again, in your opinion of this film.) I must reserve my vote. Also I wanted to bring to light a video that I watched on MSNBC this morning. It was an interview with the brother of the man who went on a killing spree in Missouri or as I have often heard it referred to "Misery". Of course the news anchor conducting the interview was Barbie's twin sister Stacy. Anyway even though this act of blatant killing and cannot be condoned when you listen to the brother you get a since that this man (the killer, nicknamed "Cookie") had stood all he could stand and he couldn't stanz no more. And at the risk at being mis-understoond there was a since of pride that I felt for the brother of the perpetrator. He did not possess the oratory qualities of Barack but he intelligently got his message across - even though Stacy was hatin' it. I guess my point is before we label "Cookie" crazy let's please take a look at all the facts. I would love to hear - or read your thoughts on this one.
Happy Friday to I.W
Malika

Sergio said...

Aft seeing the trailer several times, I really don't have ANY interest in seeing Roscoe Jenkins let alone because the vile Mo'Nique (who always looks like she's 30 seconds away from having a major heart attack) is in it.

But I have say something to the previous poster's comments about the brother of the guy who went on a shooting spree in Missouri. Out of curiousity I went to MSNBC's website to look at the video and I's baffled by what the poster is praising this guy about. He plainly justifies his nutcase brother's violent act as "an act of war" So let me get this straight. It's O.K. to kill six innocent people because you're supposedly "at war"? Was he in physical danger, threatened with death threats or was there a previous attempt by the council to kill him? I don't think so.

What this guy's brother is really saying is "My brother's a hero because he killed a bunch of white people in revenge for all the 400 years of opression we've suffered". Oh please. I'm supposed to assume the this guy and his brother are the last true real revolutionary black men left in the world. Give this guy a white woman he so desperately wants and he'll calm down real fast

The Obenson Report said...

Absolutely zero interest in seeing Roscoe Jenkins. I was quite surprised when I saw that Oprah had the cast on her show, about a week ago, plugging the film. I didn't think this was the kind of fare she would choose to push.

Regina said...

Ouch!! I didn't bother to watch the clip because the commercials were bad enough for me! I have no interest at all in seeing this trifling movie. It is the only sort of role that Martin seems to play so I am not at all surprised at that review!
I love James Earl Jones, Michael Duncan Clark and I even liked Avery, so I hope they got paid really well for this mess. As for Mo'Nique I really used to like her but her movie roles have killed that for me!
This movie probably is coonery at it's best...

Anonymous said...

Sergio I appreciate your opinion and as i mentioned I did not condon the behavior and perhaps pride was not a good word to use. I guess I was simply trying to get people to view all of the information before saying he was crazy. And please let me reiterate that it is absolutely NOT okay to go on random killing sprees - but what lead up to this man feeling that he had no alternative but to kill people?

MsMarvalus said...

Oh boy...it's hot in here!

As for Roscoe Jenkins...miss me with this...

The scene at the MO council meeting...I live in MO and that's all that has been on the news and quite frankly, no matter what lead to this man going in with guns blazing, there is no justification for taking peoples lives...NO JUSTIFICATION...

MrsGrapevine said...

Why do they have critics for these type of movies, do they actually aspect one of these films to have some redeeming cinematic quality?
Give me a break, she had her expectations way too high. James Earl Jones is just trying to stay relevant and working, leave the poor man alone.

I thought the topic was Roscoe Jenkins; and yes, anyone who kills 5 people and shoot 2 others is CRAZY. War includes 2 opposing sides that know they are apart of the battle, and actively engaged, without that it's called murder or terrorism. Is that his cell phone ringing on the news 3 times in a row? Family members are calling him trying to tell him to shutup.

Crazy, crazy, crazy...

And the brother on the news is crazy, too.

Darkside said...

I went over to my friends house his cousin was outside watching the bootleg on his portable dvd player while we were playing eight ball on the pool table. Every ten minutes or so he would scream "My Eyes, My Eyes."

theblackactor.com said...

I can certainly appreciate the candor of the reviewer. Had it not been for this blog, I would not have read any review about this film. When I heard the movie’s title, I knew then I had no interest in seeing it. So, I haven't looked at any trailers.

@ Grapevine

"James Earl Jones is just trying to stay relevant and working, leave the poor man alone."

What?!

MorganLighter said...

Okay, the census above says this film is not worth your time.
But here's one that is and you don't even have to pay for it.
PBS is broadcasting "Prince Among Slaves" which is a true story - and one of the best docu-dramas I've seen in a long time.
So, sit your butts down, google PBS.org and find out when it's playing in your town.

Vanessa said...

I had no interest in seeing this movie before reading the review but am I to believe that this movie worse than Soul Plane? That one along with Jeremy's Family Reunion make me nauseous.

IVENTBYBLOGGING said...

I'll take ur cue: if u must see it...find it for free online-at least u won't kick yourself for having paid to watch the drivel, smh

((((HEY, IW!!))))

thanks for the warning!

Mahoganydymond said...

Well I never thought about seeing it in the first place. I rarely go to the movies anymore. The prices are just to high for my taste. So if I see it, it will be on my Friday night did rental. Although I like Martin, Mo'Nique, Mike Epps, and James Earl Jones, lately I only pay my 8.50 to see something Denzel is in.

Invisible Woman said...

@darkbrotha: I'm just glad Oprah has a bunch of black folks on the show

@danielle: I know, that review was fiyah!

@SAS: anything for you, sweet pea!

@anonymous: I know the frustrations of the world can build, but I have to agree Ms. M, Sergio, and Mrs GV. We all go thru trials and tribulations, every one of us, and we do it without killing 5 random people out of the blue.

Invisible Woman said...

@sergio: I must say, I have been more and more turned off on Monique as the years have passed (never a big fan in the first place)...what sealed it was a DVD that she made of her "comedy" act at a women's prison, which imho she was completely condescending to the prisoners, not to mention extremely unfunny.

@ms m: that review was hott huh? haha

@MGV: unfortunately for the film reviewers, they have to review all films black and non black that are sometimes a boatload of crap. That's why there was a review like this, I think--they get so tired of having to do it that they put the film on blast hardcore to let out their frustrations.

@darkside: but I bet he kept watching it didn't he? lol

@TBA: methinks Mr. Earl Jones has a mortgage payment or two to deal with, haha. Or maybe he was bored.

Invisible Woman said...

@TAO and Regina: I agree. This movie looks so tired it doesn't even get me riled up, just apathetic.

@Vannessa: what is Jeremy's Family Reunion? I'm not familiar---was anyone of note in it?

@Morgan Lighter: thanks for the heads up!

@ivent and mahogany dymond; that's why I'm glad i get advance copies of some things. Most things aren't even worth $5 much less $10. I am very, very picky about what I'll pay to see, and I usuallly go to the first showing when nobody is there!

Sergio said...

@IW

I never liked Mo'Nique from the get-go but what REALLY turned me off was that Queens of Comedy cable special she did a few years ago with 4 other black women comics.

Funny how black women can complain about the degrading lyrics in rap music yet that "so-called" comedy show was the most viciously degrading-to-black-women program I've ever seen in my life (worst than 100 of the worst rap album combined), and yet I didn't hear a peep from anyone about that show (expect from author bell hooks) And Mo'Nique was the worst of them all. All it revealed was a genuine and deep self-hatred that these black women had for themselves

Anonymous said...

I.W. As I sit here I am shaking a little as I raise my fingers to the keyboard to type this comment...I'm not even sure if I should. At the risk of being drawn and quartered here goes. I enjoyed the movie. This may be my last comment on any blog because after this I won't have the stomach to read the death threats that I am going to receive for this. I don't know about any one else out there but I spent a great deal of summers in a small country village like that in a house similar to that one (not a big) on huge acreage like that. Those were some of the happiest, most memorable times of my life. Some of my dearest family who is no longer with me shared those times. So maybe while most of you see "coonery" I just see a family gathering in one of the most peacful looking places on the planet. And even if I had to suffer through Monique and Joy Bryant I would jump at the chance to be back at my great-grandmothers again. I guess sometimes you can go home again - even if it is in a movie theater on Van Ness.

Invisible Woman said...

@Sergio: THANK YOU. I see those comedy acts and I am always cringing. Can women talk about anything besides f***ing? It's so base and uncreative, and not funny to me AT ALL. I'm not a prude either--I just think it's tired, and no one ever seems to say anything about it.

@anonymous: thanks for braving the waters---at least we heard from someone who atually saw it!

Anonymous said...

martin also continues his hatred for dark skinned women ,by having nicole ari parker as his true love. from martintv show to this movie.

Invisible Woman said...

@anon: I almost agree, but he had Regina King as his love in "It's A Thin Line Between Love And Hate". A movie that I hated, btw.

Orville said...

The paucity of film choices for black film viewers is a serious problem. I wonder is it expensive to run a distribution company? Does anyone know the process how films are selected for certain movie theaters? It seems to me we are also a part of the problem the public. Martin Lawrence film has had made money and that's a quandary because we want to see something better. Yet the studios look at the profit margins that's all they care about. Also, Oprah is a business woman and I think we have to understand she doesn't speak for all black people. It is surprising that Oprah has this filth on her show but then again Oprah plugs Tyler Perry to. Maybe we are expecting too much from these black celebrities? Maybe all they just care about is making money and telling us to support them so they can generate more money? And where is the black media on this crappy kind of movies? Where are the young black filmmakers?

Bygbaby said...

Damn, yall ate this movie alive. I saw it & loved it & pretty choosy when it comes to films. To me, it was more that just another Black film. The cast in this movie could have easily been another race or ethnic group.
I have seen some Black movies that have downright pissed me out (Friday, Soul Plane) & this is mos def not one of them.

I actually smiled while leaving the theater because I felt like I got my moneys worth & identified with the them of the movie.

Bygbaby

Invisible Woman said...

Hi Orville: I was wondering when you would come around my way :-)

I reflected on what you said for awhile. And my conclusion was regretfully (and what I've suspected for a while) that 99% of the time it is just all about the money. Certain actresses and actors just seem to do ANYTHING that comes their way. I think that is part of the puzzle.

A huge part of the problem is also new filmmakers are not being let in. I need to reflect on how to change this, cause the why of it is already obvious.

@bygbaby: it is funny that the 2 people who actually saw this and commented gave it love. Interesting.

Anonymous said...

All the complaining about black cinema. Why must EVERY black film make a "statement" or be profound? I'm sure some black folks were offended by Bill Cosby and Sidney Poitier in "Let's Do It Again", "Uptown Saturday Night" and "A Piece of the Action"...Those films were comedies and featured many top-rated black actors and they too would fall into the "stereotype" category you so-called black cinema critics love to throw around. Get over yourselves and go make your own black comedy if you can do better! I think you made up your mind about the movie before you even saw it...along with you others who've slammed it without seeing it.

The movie was funny. Period. And I'm grateful to Malcolm Lee that he brought America an all-star black comedy like back in Bill's and Sidney's day!

Invisible Woman said...

Anonymous, are you referring to me? Because if you are you are clearly brand new to this blog.

I never gave my personal opinions about this film, just posted others' thoughts. I also stated in the comments that the people who actuallly saw this film thought it was pretty good.

I have stated on this blog many times that I don't think every Black film has to be a masterpiece. "Friday" is my number one favorite film, a fact that I have stated more than once on this blog as well.

If you read my profile, you will see that "Uptown Saturday Night" is listed as one of my favorite films. I have never once thought it was sterotypical Why? Because it was well written, well acted, very witty and funny, and full of wonderful music. I cannot say the same for most of the Black comedies as of late.

I am not a "film critic" I am a "film lover". This blog is about my observations, and should not be taken as critique. There are plenty of other blogs for that purpose.

I have given Malcolm Lee props and kudos on this blog more than once; I happen to think he's a very fine director.

And for the record, I was a Creative Developer for a Black production company at a major studio, that made several theatrically released Black comedies.

Maybe you should read this blog and it's archives.