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Monday, March 2, 2009

F*ckery All Around Me...

I know my posting has been spotty. The truth is, I've finished a transition back to the Bay Area to be closer to my parents, and I miss L.A. terribly...I will probably have to have residences in both places to keep everyone happy, the main person being me.

The weather has been atrocious in the Bay; cold, rainy, windy--the kind of weather that puts me in a deep, grouchy funk, as I am very, very much a sunshine person. I think my blogging has been affected as well...but fear not--I have come out of my cave for a moment to comment on some of the f*ckery that keeps slapping me in the face, haha.


How can I not say anything about the severe and unmitigated f*ckery that is Samuel Jackson? After being the super-overexposed version of Beyonce in the movie biz, he seems to want to dare us to hate him. He has signed on to do 9, yes nine, yes IX more pictures as the character Nick Fury. Is there anyone in life we want to see that much? I would saw off someone's foot to get close to Dwayne The Rock Johnson, but even I wouldn't want to see him in nine freaking pictures playing the same character. Just boo!


Also on my grouch radar is Tyler Perry. I said to myself that I wasn't going to dedicate anymore space to his projects except for straight reportage, but gawtdayum, a movie version of "I Can Do Bad All By Myself"? What next--Stepin Fetchit on Parade? I mean, that play was all sorts of funny, but it puts the chitlin', fatback, and hog maws in chitlin' circuit.


Speaking of chitlins, for some crazy Black History f*ckery, check out Thembi's post on white (and Black) America's tributes to our so-called history and tastes. True WTF?!? shenanigans if you ever saw it!


I kept silent about Slickback's stupid statement about the Chris Brown/Rihanna debacle (my advice still stands to only speak through a publicist, Terrence), and it is even more stupid as he was arrested for the exact same thing a few years back.

But what is this that Chris Brown was to star with Fantasia as Harpo in the Washington D.C. stage play version of "The Color Purple" (which he has been dropped from)? Remember this line? "You told Harpo to beat me!" Ummmm...ironeeeee....


Just setting my grouch/disgust factor off the charts is Marlon Jackson's complete lunacy about building a slavery theme park, complete with golf courses, spas, etc., coupled with a Jackson family museum. How much do we really know about Marlon? I mean he has never really said much before....how do we know he might not have some mild form of autism or something like that? All signs point to it with an idea so stupid I can dedicate 3 posts to it.


And finally, just the type of f*ckery that wears one to the bone--why, Whoopi, why?


Not that her wardrobe of choice should be any surprise. Let's take a look at some of her other Oscars dress choices, yes?





Clearly this woman has never been introduced to, or been within a 50 mile radius of a stylist, ever.


Okay, rants over. Just to balance out my mid-winter crotchetiness is some good news. I will be starting a sort of West Coast version of Reelblack, showing screenings of yet to be released independant and rarely seen throwback films, along with talks with actors, directors, etc. this summer called "Black Cinema At Large". Those of you in the Bay are very welcome to hang with yours truly. Each event will be posted on this blog so stay tuned, and stay blessed :-)

31 comments:

SDG said...

I have NO words for any of this shyte. lol

The weather here sucks like hell and I've been a total byeotch because of it. Winter in San Francisco stinks.

Since I'm in your neck of the woods, I will most DEF come hang out for some indie and throwbacks.

Welcome back to the Bay even if the weather does suck donkey ass.

:-)

msladydeborah said...

I like the picture on your post. I love rainy day scenes.

There are too many things going on and too many of them seem like some kind of wrong. Or at the very least, really annoying.

Reel Whore said...

This is some kind of freaky. I just finished writing my Sam Jackson post for the week (a review of Lakeview Terrace that will post tomorrow).

Nine more films for Marvel? I;m sure that won't hinder his other projects either. Does he officially have more money than God now? You'd think so.

SolShine7 said...

I'm glad your back to blogging! Will your show be available on the Internet via YouTube, etc.?

bklyn6 said...

How much do we really know about Marlon?

Back in the day, I remember hearing that Marlon was a better dancer than Michael. :-)

Whoopie's purple and green frock is so Barney it's scary.

noelanimahana said...

A slavery Theme park?!! I have no words. Please don't insult Autistic people, dumb-assery should not be attributed willy-nilly to people with a serious developmental disorder.

A Slavery Theme park?!!

I just ... oh for fuck's sake!

Harlepolis said...

Oh god, don't get me started on Ms."Jewish Wannabe" SMH

I mean Whoopi won't change for anyone, I love that about her but DAMN - you are not about to get in the tub! Or the bed! Or go get the paper! & what's w/ the shades??? OY, she frustrates me. She could make an effort, but NOOOOOOOO she intends to take her "Not giving a hint of a fuck" attitude to the EXTREME level.

She's one of the reasons why I wish fashion police did exist *sigh!*

Harlepolis said...

As for Marlon.

What do you expect from a member of the "Black Addams Family"???

Damn Paul Mooney for this lol.....

madame z said...

So I guess it's safe to say that Tyler Perry will make into film every stage play he's ever penned/been involved in? Hmm.

Whoopi is Whoopi. I've learned to accept the f*ckery.

Sam...9 more times as Mr. Fury? Word? Will there be 9 more films to accommodate these 9 more times? I'd settle for the Rock, too....he's nothing 'but' the sexy. Rowr!

Good luck on your move!!! :)

Thembi said...

That disgraceful rundown of Whoopis outfits belongs in the Smithsonian.

Whoopi Goldberg's Fashion Faux Pas - Never Forget.

Tafari said...

IW - If I was in a funk, I would certainly be out of it now, you are funny as hell!!!

I love Sam & happy that he can pull off this kind of shit, but it is a bit much!

I'm going to see Madea Goes to Jail tomorrow & I'm gonna think about how much you are missing!!!

And that grocery display gave me a damn migraine when I saw it.

How sad to see that someone reduced our struggle to "just for me" perms, Glory Greens & piece of non-Kente cloth. Damn!!!

And as far as Whoopi goes, it's Whoopi, what can we expect. I love her for not giving a muctha fuck. Not only that, talking about her fashion sense or lack there of is like talking about a retarded cousin who eats his boogers, you know there fucked up so why bother. LOL!!!

BTW, I did that review on Medicine for Melancholy, will post it later. I have to do one of my janky proof reads.

Tafari

Wanda said...

Sorry you had to move back. that blows. at least you can always return since you didnt have to give up everything.

@whoopi - you know ive been watching the oscars for YEARS and i vividly remember whoopi in the lime green lined dress. it was horrible even then.

boris said...

-Sam Jackson: IW, this recession is REAL. you need to hustle that paper lol. i LOVE sam jackson as long as hes handled right

-I read thembis fuckery logs lmao. DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD. my fav was the fried chicken and macaronni in commemoration of black history month

-each time i think of SLickback or Baby Wipes(with apologies to bossip.com) i think of jamie foxx impersonating him lol. aaay maaayne. haha

-whoopi's swagger is NOT on a hundred thousand trillion. she needs to ask kanyes new jump off for fashion week(i cant) tips. whoopi looks like a crow in that black dress with feathers lol

Sergio said...

In regards to Whoopi it goes back to my theory that the reason he's...OOOPS I mean she's still popular and keeps working is because she works triple time to always look like an ugly, hot ass mess and therefore not threaten white women making them feel safe that a black woman could look better than them.

Marvalus said...

I think I agree with Sergio...why else would Whoop walk out the house looking like that?

Damn...makes me screw up my face like I smell something stinky...

dc_speaks said...

you know that is waaaaaay too much information to process all at once.

hey, IW. long time.

stoppin by to say hey.

good luck on the weather improving. atleast you dont have snow and/or rain everyday. LOL.

laters,

clnmike said...

1- Im sorry am I missing something how the hell did he get a deal for 9 movies for the character period?

2- Hey I aint mad at Tyler.

3- I guess thats why Terrance said what he said.

4- I wouldnt mind a slavery themed park if the guest actually lived like slaves did complete with left over pig parts for food, long days picking cotton, and being sold off.

Hell you can double it up by having black guest playing the slave owners and dealers so they no how it feels to be on top. I volunteer my services as an overseer.

La Diva Sim said...

LMAO! i love the word fuckery. its so fun to say.

Sam Jackson can do no wrong. He stays working. Hats off to the big dog in Hollywood.

Tyler Perry has been on my shit list since 2008s "Meet the Browns" but at least hes keeping black actors working even if its in pointless films.

I love me some Whoopi. She lets her wild personality come out even in her fashion choices. Its not always aesthetically pleasing but its always her.

La Diva Sim said...

p.s. IW, i know i didnt just read you are checking for my man, Dwayne. hes just too yummy for words. i might be willing to share him as long as you understand "its my name tattooed on his arm" hahaha!

Black Yoda said...

9 pictures? They're already scraping the bottom of the barrel for marvel character movies, but I guess the team-ups and cross-overs and off-shoots will soon start.

I was never a fan of Tyler Perry, but I won't hate on his success. My girl made me watch one of his plays...Marriage Counselor...I think. Anyway, I see why some people might be attracted to his brand of bawdy humor and melodrama, but it just isn't for me.

Whoopi is just Whoopi.

I'm going to remember this blog when they release Race to Witch Mountain part 9 or "Walking Tall..er....est" The Rock seems like he'll be doing well for him self doing these slightly comedic roles and Disney flicks. It's only a matter of time before they put him in a dress. Maybe he can do the remake of Mrs. Doubtfire. Black men (or partially black) in drag is always a crowd pleaser. It makes us less threatening...lol You should do a blog on that. From Jamie Foxx's Wanda to Martin Lawrence's Big Mama. This response has taken a strange twist. But it still would be a great blog idea to hear your analysis about the matter.

Naturally Sophia said...

I am an avid reader of your blog. This is not spam.

I have awarded you the Kreativ Blog Award. It is a blog to blog award. You were chosen because of your poignant perspectives and relevant content.

I have been requested to encourage you to create a post on 7 things you love and 7 blogs you deem worthy of bestowing the award. You are in turn requested to have them post on 7 things they love and 7 blogs they love.

just another opinion said...

First, I love your blog!

But oh, no, see, I'm an L.A. native now living in S.F. and I looooove the rain--more, please! Sunshine sucks day in, day out. Cancer and all that. Rain is an infrequent reminder that we haven't entirely destroyed nature.

And as much as I love looking at beautiful garments I truly detest stylists. What they do has nothing to do with style, just fashion. Hollywood has become so generic as a result. Whoopi, do your own fabulous awful thing; I wish more celebrities did. Makes the world go 'round.

V-Knowledge said...

Sam Jack in NINE Marvel films? Hey, he might as well, with the nonstop input of work he turns out. Will he be getting a Nick Fury film of his own is what I'm wondering.

As for Whoopi's wardrobe, I'll be nice and say her choices are...eclectic.

Regina said...

LOL @ Mike!!!!! Of course you would volunteer for that role!

I HATE Sam Jackson & I HATE Terrance Howard. They should do a movie together... Supa Negro Sam & his faithful sidekick Retard half negro, as they save the world from real black people trying to run things...
No words for Marlon the clown.
whoppi is going to keep on being Whoppi... Nothing can be done to stop her!

I want Tyler Perry to take a 3hour tour on an island somewhere and that display made me itch.
Thanks for brightening my Friday!

Invisible Woman said...

@sdg: lol!! you are funny. i do look forward to meeting you :-)

@ms lady: pretty to look at, no fun to be in, for sure :-(

@reelwhore: i'll be right over to add my 2 cents...

@solshine: oh, i won't be doing that part like reelblack--just movie showings at talks at a specified venue

@bklyn6: ya know, i heard that rumor too...but even rainman had his talents, haha!

@Noela: i know what you are saying, but i was actually being a bit serious about what i said...

Invisible Woman said...

Harlepolis: thanks for reminding me of that mooney bit--that is why me love him! as for whoopie, ya gotta give it to her--she really and truly doesn't care about anything associated with femininity it seems.

@madame z: thanks for the well wishes girl, but don't make me bust one over The Rock! :-)

and yes, i think it's safe to say each and every one of perry's plays will be a film...boo

@thembi: she just grates my last nerve with that mess--i know she must be purposely trying to look like that

@tafari: "How sad to see that someone reduced our struggle to "just for me" perms, Glory Greens & piece of non-Kente cloth. Damn!!!"

LOL!!! are you gonna review that madea movie? i can't wait to read what you thought

@wanda: there are worse places to live, i guess...are you moving to LA still?

Invisible Woman said...

@boris: at least kanye's girl is interesting to look at...whoopi can just be so painful sometimes

thembie's post was good, yes?

@sergio: i know you feel about the whoopster almost the same as you feel about the perry.

@ms m: you'll get no argument from me

@dc: hey hey! it is ALWAYS a pleasure to see you around these parts--stay up!

@clnmike: i laughed out loud at your slavery comment---it would only be a dream come true

@ladiva:"at least hes keeping black actors working even if its in pointless films"

at least.

but honey, come near my husband and it's war of the blogs...lol!

Invisible Woman said...

@blackyoda: i know we've touched a bit on the subject here in the past--and right now it looks like madea is the only one going that route...at least for now.

i would be hard-pressed to imagine the rock doing that, but he is a disney ho now, so you never know :-(

@just another: i am so glad you enjoy it--hope to see you around for a long time. but i'm sorry--no one will ever be able to change my mind about how i feel about rain, tho i know we always need it!

@v: eclectic? you are so kind...

i was sick of sam about 9, no make that 90 pictures ago

@regina: my meanie disease spreads to you more on each visit...i love it! haha
@naturally sophis: thank you so much!! i'm am sorry to be on the late train, but since you are an avid reader you are quite familiar with my slackery...I will post about it on my next movie news posting--thanks again :-)

Reel Whore said...

Thanks for your two cents.

BTW, I passed on the Dardos Award to you. Don’t know if you do the whole blog awards thing or not. This is a new one for me. The post is on my site.

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blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Whoopi tries... she really does... can't you see it on "The View"??

*LOL*