WTF??!!! Volume 15

Please. please, PLEASE let this be some BS! From Dlisted:

Why did I have to read about Morgan Freeman allegedly Wood-Allen-ing his step-granddaughter?! If I dip my head in a pot of boiling bleach will it burn away that image along with 99% of the skin on my face? I might be willing to try it.

I hope the National Enquirer was just telling jokes when they wrote about 72-year-old Morgan Freeman's 10-year-long affair with his 27-year-old step-granddaughter E'Dena Hines. Please let them issue a statement that they thought April Fool's Day got moved to mid-June for some reason.

A source tells the Enquirer that E'Dena is the granddaughter of Morgan's first wife Jeanette. Morgan and his second wife Myrna raised E'Dena ever since she was a little girl. The affair reportedly started when E'Dena was a teenager. The source went on to say, "Myrna said E'dena told her that when she was a teenager, she and Morgan went to dinner at a friend's house one evening. Both had been drinking, and when they returned home, Morgan attempted to have sex with her. They stopped just short of having intercourse. E'Dena explained to Myrna that she stopped Morgan from going any further."

Myrna told Morgan to step off E'Dena and he promised he would. Without Myrna knowing, Morgan's relationship with E'Dena continued for years.

The source wants all to know that it's technically not incest since they aren't blood relatives,
"but Morgan is trying desperately to keep his divorce out of open court so all the shameful facts won't become public."

I know most of you stopped at "National Enquirer," but they sound serious about this one. Maybe we should all just pretend this is a work of creepy fan fiction and then slowly back away until we get further evidence? Okay, I won't dip my head in bleach just yet, but in the meantime.....

MustthinkofkittensMustthinkofkittensMustthinkofkittensMustthinkofkittens

From IW: Oh hayell to the naw!!!

WTF?? Volume 14

Sorry I've been MIA for awhile...trying to make that cheese, cheddar, cake, ifyaknowwhatimean. I shouldn't stay away for such long stretches, cause blogs are like your children, and right now my child has hair like Zahara Jolie-Pitt and is dressed in rags with no shoes...in other words, a blog needs maintenance! So here I am.

I haven't done a WTF Volume in a long time, but this sh*t right here just puzzled the hayell out of me. I know it's a bit late, and I really meant to put it on my last post, but I just had to share.

I mean, can somebody please explain to me who deemed Mrs. Martha's Vinyard the authority on Kwanzaa? This has to be the most disgusting cake I've ever laid eyes on--they bill it as "famous"...what self-respecting Negro would be checking for this sorry nastiness? Acorns on a cake? I'm through.

spotted on Dlisted

WTF? Volume 13

P. Diddy, Puff Daddy, what the f**k ever, as Miles Davis? I don't care what he calls himself, I just call him Ballsy!

WTF?....Volume 12

Jamie Foxx's career is starting to sound like a practical joke. First "From G's To Gents", now this.

Jamie is set to portray Mike Tyson in his biopic. Says Iron Mike (read this in his lispy voice):

“Jamie Foxx and I will be working together. He will play me in the film about my life. We already talked about it several times.” Tyson also insists he is finally free of drugs for the first time in years, admitting he was never completely sober - even in his boxing heyday.

Says IW: Just.....damn. Wonder if Jamie is drug-free.

WTF?.....Volume 11

Dayum, Snoop. I'm gonna really have to see the rest of this; I'm hoping this just looks hella crazy out of context.

WTF?.....Volume 10

Unrelated to black cinema, but interesting just the same.

c&d

An update from Crunk And Disorderly:

A local DJ and party promoter retreated Thursday from a plan to sponsor a bash that would let "light-skinned" black women into a downtown club for free.

But the "Light Skin Libra Birthday Bash" at Club APT on Woodward Avenue turned out to be a bashing -- of promoter Ulysses "DJ Lish" Barnes after word of the unusual party spread on the Internet.

"I made a mistake," Barnes said. "I didn't think there would be a backlash."Barnes, who said he's been a party promoter for six years, canceled the event.He said he has gotten angry calls and e-mails from around the country about the party."I didn't mean to offend anyone," he said. "I had planned a party for other shades (of black women). We were going to take a shade of color each week. Next week was going to be a party for 'Sexy Chocolate' and the week after that 'Sexy Caramel.' "Barnes is African-American and describes himself as "dark skinned."

The issue of skin color is an often painful and emotional among African-Americans. The history of slavery and the resulting legacy of intra-racial segregation have sometimes pitted darker-skinned and lighter-skinned blacks against one another.

From I.W.: Suuuuure he planned other parties for other skin tones.

WTF?.....Volume 9

I don't know what to make of this. Two folkses apparently had a tiff over a couple of movies I wrote about, and these emails were forwarded to me...I left out their specific names and replaced them with fake ones, but it's a bit confusing to me; maybe you can help me out.....

1st Email:

From Rhonda:

Why write to me? Write to the writer of the critique directly at: invisiblecinema@gmail.com. Have the same vigor when you write that person directly as you did below.

Penelope wrote:
Thanks for sharing! does not fluster me or upset me and critics well- admonish all they want- Not masterpiece theater, but the real beauty here is that we all had a vision and a dream- we carried it out; we finished the movie; got it sold and distributed and more important in this business we gave people work! Most of these folks can only have their criticisms and admonishments. Truth is- we get no admonishment from our peers who understand the struggle and the sacrifice in making a film- however bad you may think it is. Are we each responsible for the kind of message we send out? No. It's entertainment and in this case a comedy! Get a life people. What about the gangster, oh not so funny , can't spell filmmaker wack crap on BET? What about the mess that makes it to the big screen? What about the real problems facing folks trying to make it to the big screen? Where's that fight and those articles? What about the folks who refused to help and guide when they could have? Let's discuss that...These folks don't know me, my character, background or life story and struggles or what I go through daily to make a better way for Black people and women and the rest of us who do our thing and aren't afraid .

What about the awards So Fresh won? and the fact someone, somewhere keeps buying the movie; renting the movie; ordering the movie? can't speak for the others. But what is your point in sending this? Are we hurting filmmakers and writers? are we killing brain cells? are we making a political statement? did we rob anyone of dignity in the process of the filmmaking? no! So again- why are you sending this to me after 2 years of the movie being in store and nearly 6 since it was made? No mad. Just curious.

Thank you for the publicity oh critical ones! Perhaps my partner, the screenwriter and co-director can better address you...

Keep it funky

2nd Email:

From Penelope:

You sent the original email, and thus I responded to you. The author is free to contact me.

I've made my peace with it all and have spent my energy creating and producing more pieces to be critiqued or enjoyed!

3rd Email:

From Rhonda:

Your film was stereotypical garbage and I hope you don't make anything else remotely like that. You and your filmmakers have not progressed the noble cause of making quality African-American cinema, but impeded it seriously. I'm glad the Invisible Cinema site blasted that garbage. This below should be the face of your production company.

From IW: Bear in mind I was never part of this email exchange, and have absolutely no idea where it came from or why. What I do know is "Confessions of a Call Girl" and "So Fresh, So Clean" are hot petrified garbage, and the fact that either one of them won an award that was worth more than a Tic-Tac is completely dumbfounding to me, as well as deeply disturbing.

As one who has had the experience of working for a major studio, pitching scripts, working on production, and dealing with unbelievable executive racism every freaking day, I am even more firmly entrenched that just because someone has the means to make a film doesn't mean it should be "acceptable", non-threatening, stereotypical bullshit. That's why so many black films go to DVD. That should NOT be our goal; we have spiritual love, we have family, we have fierce sexual intensity and incredible beauty, none of which I saw an iota of in either one of these movies.

I admire ANYONE who can get a film made that is black, but I DO NOT agree that it should be some lazy, tired, 5th grade f__ed up mess to get it done. Not everything has to be a masterpiece, but there are so very, very, little of them made in our community. I find it laughable that someone defends "So Fresh, So Clean" so nobly. It would have been just as easy to try to make a decent film; Charles Burnett never has any Hollywood money, but he always has something to say in his films.

Let's fight the good fight and ELEVATE, people! How did we get from Langston Hughes and James Baldwin to this? Jena and BET were just the beginning....we are on our way.

WTF?.....Volume 8

Apparently in a cheeto and burrito induced coma, Aretha Franklin now says she wants Halle Berry, not Jennifer Hudson, to play her in her on screen biopic.

This is wrong on so many levels that it would take all day to list why. No wonder it has now been downgraded from a feature film to a television movie. Update: I'm sorry, but I just have to put up this comment from Thembi, who suggested that maybe she was misquoted and meant "Fred Berry".

WTF?.....Volume 7

This has absolutely nothing to do with Black Cinema, but for those of you that haven't seen this calamity on other blogs, I just had to share. I had to create new tags just for this post. Btw, this is Toni Braxton's sister, supposedly.

picture taken from queerty

WTF?.....Volume 6

Terrence Howard says he doesn't believe in pre-marital sex. This from Bossip:

“There were some women who pushed for sex and sometimes, they won,” he confesses. “Afterward, I would feel unclean, like I’d compromised my own values… so I had to let them go.”

I.W.: Huh? His quote seems a bit strange coming from someone whose wife left them for serial cheating. Way to get rid of those zesty, man-purse carrying rumors, Terrence.

picture taken from zillasays and click here for a very funny blog post about "man bags'

WTF?.....Volume 5

From Stereohyped:
I’ve been reading about the new movie "Wanted" with Morgan Freeman, Common, and Angelina Jolie, but I confess I had no idea what it was about. I figured I would wait for the trailer. To my immense surprise, I find out that the movie is based on a comic book series by a guy named Mark Millar, and Angelina Jolie will be playing a Catwoman-esque character named Fox.

This was all well and good until some comic book-obsessed bloggers realized out that Fox was a black woman in the original comics. Now she’s Angelina Jolie. Well, she famously admitted that there was a shortage of roles for people of color, but that her portrayal of Mariane Pearl in A Mighty Heart was not a good example of the problem. And now? I’m fully aware that this sort of thing is often done in film adaptations of comic books. But Angie again? I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to notice a pattern here.

[AfroGeek via Racialicious]

From Invisible Woman: No comment necessary....in one of my very first posts I stated how I felt about St. Jolie and the blackface.

WTF?.....Volume 4

From Black Talent News:

Evan Shapiro, the Executive Vice President and General Manager of IFC TV announced the acquisition by IFC of the exclusive rights to the 10 new episodes of R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" during the network's panel at the television critics summer press tour.

From Invisible Woman: I won't even begin to say how I feel about R. Kelly--don't get me started on that one. But the Independent Film Channel has slowly, but surely, lost it's credibility with me over the past couple of years, and this just seals it. I know people need to generate revenue and ratings, but what genius at IFC thought that this was a good idea?

WTF?.....Volume 3

To expand just a bit on my BET post yesterday--I appreciate when readers take the time to share things with me, and this was forwarded to me from Hottnikz.....I knew BET was on some ish, but this just takes it to a whole new level. It is a must-read so you can peep the mentality behind these "executives":

http://crunktastical.blogspot.com/2005/09/bet-thinks-youre-dumb.html

I have to say I'm a bit surprised by Debra Lee, BET's president. I know as a woman in that position it must be hard, but when I worked at the studio "that will henceforth remain unnamed" (TWHRU), she was the right hand to a very, very, very well-known black actor who had his offices downstairs from us. This actor is noted for his dignified roles and making it without selling out, ever. She should remember her time with him--it would serve her very well right now.

WTF?...Volume 2

From Stereohyped (an excellent blog by the way):

I hope that the production of this ridiculous movie Eddie Murphy’s filming in NYC involving clowns doesn’t suffer because of the news that he of the interesting career and personal choices is indeed the biological father of Angel Iris Murphy Brown.

I know this post is supposed to be about paternity tests, but didn’t we all already know what the outcome would be? Let’s talk about "Starship Dave", the plot of which is even more foolish than the picture above suggests. Here’s the outline, according to IMDB:

A crew of miniature aliens operate a spaceship that has a human form. While trying to save their planet, the aliens encounter a new problem, as their ship becomes smitten with an Earth woman. (invisible woman-WTF?!)

Two things. Number 1, this is a rip-off of Innerspace. That may be okay, since most of you probably don’t know what that is. Number 2, really, Eddie Murphy? This is the type of post-Oscar-nomination work you’re choosing for yourself? At least it’s one less movie little Angel will have to see featuring her dad in a black woman fat suit. I hope.

From Invisible Woman: I don't know what is going on in this picture, and I don't wanna know. Way to save your career, Eddie.

WTF?.....Volume 1

From Crunk and Disorderly:

"Fashion icon Karl Lagerfeld (?!) is set to produce "Only The Hood Dies Young" starring Fabolous and Keyshia Cole."

From Invisible Woman: Who brokered this deal? I've never seen Karl with anybody darker than an orange Lindsey Lohan. How nice that he's trying to make his geriatric ass relevant by producing a stereotypical "drug dealer from the streets story" . Kudos!