Please, Please, PleaseTell Me We're All Extras In "Inception"

Laurence Fishburne's daughter and some complete and total loser ...ummm..."speaking" about her "introduction" into the porn world. I know Larry is (allegedly) holed up with much weed, cigarettes, and the best case of vodka money can buy. I know I would be. Are they filming in a La Bon Pain chain restaurant in this youtube video? *le sigh*

I'm sorry, but this chick makes Kim Kardashian, Beyonce, and Paris Hilton look like Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Obama.

Disturbing Picture Of The Week...

Okay, we all knew the real deal about what when on in the GA with Katt, though not too many wanted to say it: straight cracka-docia moves.

Now I see this sh*t, with the ultra-bailing perm. This latest mugshot is even more disturbing than the last one. A negro that keeps his perm fresh at all times that doesn't bother to get a touch up in weeks? All signs point to not good at all...please Katt, come back up and recognize the gifts God gave you, before we have another Pryor on our hands.

WTF??!!! Volume 15

Please. please, PLEASE let this be some BS! From Dlisted:

Why did I have to read about Morgan Freeman allegedly Wood-Allen-ing his step-granddaughter?! If I dip my head in a pot of boiling bleach will it burn away that image along with 99% of the skin on my face? I might be willing to try it.

I hope the National Enquirer was just telling jokes when they wrote about 72-year-old Morgan Freeman's 10-year-long affair with his 27-year-old step-granddaughter E'Dena Hines. Please let them issue a statement that they thought April Fool's Day got moved to mid-June for some reason.

A source tells the Enquirer that E'Dena is the granddaughter of Morgan's first wife Jeanette. Morgan and his second wife Myrna raised E'Dena ever since she was a little girl. The affair reportedly started when E'Dena was a teenager. The source went on to say, "Myrna said E'dena told her that when she was a teenager, she and Morgan went to dinner at a friend's house one evening. Both had been drinking, and when they returned home, Morgan attempted to have sex with her. They stopped just short of having intercourse. E'Dena explained to Myrna that she stopped Morgan from going any further."

Myrna told Morgan to step off E'Dena and he promised he would. Without Myrna knowing, Morgan's relationship with E'Dena continued for years.

The source wants all to know that it's technically not incest since they aren't blood relatives,
"but Morgan is trying desperately to keep his divorce out of open court so all the shameful facts won't become public."

I know most of you stopped at "National Enquirer," but they sound serious about this one. Maybe we should all just pretend this is a work of creepy fan fiction and then slowly back away until we get further evidence? Okay, I won't dip my head in bleach just yet, but in the meantime.....

MustthinkofkittensMustthinkofkittensMustthinkofkittensMustthinkofkittens

From IW: Oh hayell to the naw!!!

Really, Vivica?

Is there ANYTHING this woman won't do for a check? No one can have this many bills to pay...just damn.


Update: Michael K. from D-Listed says this:

"In the meantime, maybe Vivica can ask one of her Psychic Friends where her damn hairline went!"

LMAO!


UPADATE #2 from Sergio:

NEWSFLASH!

Viv now has important announcement regarding the video:

"After an infomercial video and flyers for her alleged campaign with The Psychic Friends Networks hit the web on Monday, actress Vivica A. Fox contacted BV Buzz exclusively to address the matter.

In a statement that the star of ‘Two Can Play That Game’ and ‘Soul Food’ sent via e-mail late Monday night, she declared: “Vivica A. Fox is no friend of The Psychic Friends Network.” Fox is alleging that the footage circulating online “is using her unauthorized likeness, footage, voice and photographs as an endorsement of their service.” Additionally, the actress is demanding that The Psychic Friends Network “cease and desist immediately” with use of the video and images.

Details about why the video was shot or how the images were obtained by The Psychic Friends Network were not explained. In the early 1990s, The Psychic Friends Network was a telephone psychic service hosted by Dionne Warwick that offered a call-in service where viewers could call psychics for $3.99 a minute. The parent company, Inphomation, took in profits of over $100 million within the first few years of the Network’s operation. In 1998, profits for The Psychic Friends Network had plummeted substantially and the company filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy before ultimately closing."

So I'm confused. Is she saying that she didn't make the video and that somehow they took footage of her from something else and put it into this video

OR...

Is she simply embarassed by all the comments she's been getting about how low her career has slid and is trying to regain some diginity?

What say you all?

Disturbing Picture(s) Of The Week....

Not so "Dy-no-mite!" anymore, huh? A looooong way from Bootney Farnsworth.



And Georgie, Porgie, Porker Pie:

A looooong way from Karma Chameleon yes?





note to self: age is the enemy...

Disturbing Picture(s) Of The Week....

And I do mean disturbing in every single sense of the word.**

**i do know this is unrelated to black cinema, but these mugshots sent my soul to heaven, and i had to resurrect and share...thank you fresh

Dolemite Forever...

Damn, damn, damn! Icon Rudy Ray Moore, aka Dolemite has passed. We all have to go sometime, but it still sucks, bigtime.

For those of you that don't know anything about Dolemite, shame on you! But you can start here with this clip:

Really, Jennifer?

You probably already know this, but Jennifer Hudson got engaged to be married to Punk from "I Love New York 2" over the weekend.


pic from bossip

What tha?

These two ummm "films" have me perplexed with my lips extremely pursed. All I can say is: 'Who?' 'What?' and most definitely 'Why?' Also 'Huh?' and "The F**k?"

To wit, first up is Tichina Arnold (Pam in "Martin", aka 'BDB') in a dramatic role that seems to be a race reversal of "Black Snake Moan-The Sketch Drafts". That's the most I can say.




The second one is beyond description. When I saw it on the blog "Long Live The Message" I must have stared at the computer screen for a full minute after it was over.



The "star" of this "movie" is Ryan Leslie, the supposed manager of "singer" Cassie, who is also maybe probably Diddy's fiance. Since Ryan has the head- throbbing vanity to make this butter-fried mess, I am quite sure he is vain enough to Google himself on the daily. So Ryan, listen up-you are made to act like Cassie is meant to sing. Nuff said.

Really, Jada?

I promise to have some real movie news later today...but at the moment I am enjoying LA sunshine and Sapporo. In the meantime, here is a clip I've been meaning to post ever since I saw it on Undercover Black Man's blog. It is of Jada Pinkett and her "band" Wicked Wisdom on David Letterman. Just....damn.

She scares me now even more than before. All 4'11 of her.

ok, not really; i'd kick her ass, but she's still scary!

Gary Parties Like It's 1999...

I don't know if Gary is leaving CSI to make more movies or make more time to party. Either way he better slow his roll. Spotted on D-Listed:

Gary Dourdan of "CSI" was arrested in Palm Springs yesterday on suspicion of possessing heroin, cocaine, ecstasy and prescription drugs. TMZ reports that the cops found him asleep in his car at 5:21 in the morning. He was taken to a Palm Springs jail where he later posted $5,000 bail and was released.

From IW: Damn! At least wait till you get home. What is up with all these celebs flying high while driving? Shenanigans I tell ya.

btw, the pic is gary's mugshot

They Better Not Ask Him To Act Like Noxema...

Wesley Snipes gets 3 years in the pokey. Damn!

Terrence Watch! Part 13

This really should be a combined TW! and WTF Volume. This story alone almost brought me out of my hiatus. From EW:

Apparently members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences weren’t the only ones impressed by Terrence Howard’s Oscar-nominated role as a pimp-turned-rapper in 2005’s Hustle & Flow. EW has learned exclusively that the 39-year-old Crash veteran, now starring in the Broadway revival of Tennessee Williams’ Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, has landed a record deal with Columbia Records. “The full name [of the project] is Terrence Howard Presents Me and the Band of Kings,” says a label rep, who adds that the group’s as-yet-untitled debut CD “is slated for a fall release.”

From IW: *sigh*

Oh Dennis....(Part 2)

Do you think Dennis, Gary Coleman, and Malik Yoba should form a support group?


pic spotted on bossip

Can Somebody PLEASE Help This Fool?

Okay, this ish is now oficially out of control. I write about him cause he has made some cameos in some very, very low budget black films that will probably never be mentioned on this blog.

Can somebody please, please, please, PLEASE donate to the Gary Coleman fund? He is now selling his "Gap Kids" pants on E-Bay (bid now at $20.53)....he is one step away from being found nekkid and dead next to an empty bottle of Percocet and some weird shameful sex toy.

At least help Gary moisturize his situation and rid him of "the crack-level ash" as darkbrotha would say.

pictures thanks to my zesty blog pals afro and michael k

Just....damn.

**sigh**

(part one)

John Singleton is set to direct a feature adaptation of "The A-Team".

Et tu, John?

**sigh**

(part 2, a.k.a. douche alert)

Jamie Foxx at his "40th" (for the third or fourth time) birthday party.




**sigh**

(part 3)

What is really going on, Jasmine? I need the truth, and I need it now.

**sigh**

(part 4)

"First Sunday" with Ice Cube, Tracy Morgan, and Katt Williams. Forget just damn....just...why?





thanks celebrity blitz and undercover black man for nos. #1 and #4, respectively.

Really?

Pleeeeeasse, just like the story about Sanaa Lathan and that random football dude, don't let this be true.... I was just giving this girl props the other day:

A highly placed source close to actress Lauren London exclusively tells Bossip Lil Wayne recently slapped a “huge rock” on her finger and the two are engaged. The source tells Bossip “they have been on and off for years and have had an open relationship. Lauren is very hood and likes thugs”.

Lauren London has been linked to Baron Davis, T.I., and Pharrell before deciding to get serious with Weezy.

From IW: A) Weezy is extremely weird and B) he consistently dates Trina and Supahead (as well as boodie-calls Solange, Beyonce's Y-list sister). This situation would be a sad waste.

Update: Damn how could I possibly forget this one? Thembi also reminded me that his sexuality has been questioned a lot more than a few times.....c'mon, Lauren--I really thought you had it together--I'm hoping that this travesty is just a stupid rumor.

And here is a little taste on how most people feel about Lil Wayne aka Gollum:

I Love A Good Martini, But Damn....

This is about a different Morgan....from Stereohyped:

Oh, Tracy. Tracy! Just a little while longer and you would have been in the clear, free to shrivel your liver on your own time, without your SCRAM recording your every beer, your every patron shot, your every…you get the picture. Was it the 30 Rock Emmy win? Was it the divorce? Whatever it was, you drank some alcohol, SCRAM and all, and now you have to wear the device for another 80 days. If you cheat again, it’s 30 days in jail. Call me a bleeding heart, but what good is a SCRAM going to do for a man clearly addicted to alcohol? Can someone sentence him to a stint at Promises, please?

From I.W.: I love love love "30 Rock". Did I mention how much I love it? Tracy better not f__k it up.....

ps: why does he keep thinkin that shirt up showin' the belly thing is cute? I'm just sayin'...

Where's Martin Scorsese When You Need Him?

Okay, so I posted this video last week about the Blockbuster Black Movie Section, and these dudes were reviewing these bootleg movies, and talked about one called "The Watermelon Heist". I thought it would be fun to laugh at, cause you knew it was gonna be like some high school play.

Oh.....my....God....have you ever seen a movie so bad that you can't even laugh at it? A movie that defies description and what your eyes are seeing? A movie that any self-respecting 4th grader can write in their sleep, but was still made anyway? This is that movie.

It is the story of Nicodemus Brown, who calls himself "Nicca Brown" and his welfare check waitin' family....it goes downhill from there, culminating with a 2 minute appearance by Rudy Ray (Dolemite) Moore, who looks like a corpse in a suit and hat. And since it was based on a "true story" (that term is surely twisted to hell in this one) of John Amos' father, starred John Amos, and was "directed" by John Amos' son, K.C. Amos, I will be kind and simply say that this is the worst film I have ever seen in my life.

Instead I will focus on one of the oddities in this movie, Red Grant (he's the one with the watermelon in the back of the first picture). Who is this dude? I first saw him in the second worst move I've ever seen, "So Fresh, So Clean-Tidey Whitey Cleaners". This movie, supposedly set in Oakland, CA, made me ashamed to admit I grew up there.

In the w-list movies I've seen him in, I always marveled at how he got work...he makes Forest Whitaker look like The Rock in the face.....check out his names in the movies he's been in: "Horny", "Forty Ounce", "Ringworm" and "Greg Rant" (genius). Add "Leprechaun in the Hood" co-starring Ice-T and Coolio to his illustrious accomplishments.

There aren't too many pictures of him available on the net, but when I see how he looks in real life, he is not so scary to look at (unless his pictures are airbrushed). Why he chooses to look the way he does in his films...well, maybe he's a method actor. Yeah, that's it.

The Glamorous Life No More....

All this week I will be talking about things related to your favorite films and the comments made. A few people voted "Krush Groove" as one of their favorites, and justjudith asked if that was Sheila E's last film. Well, I don't know if it is, but the picture above may be one reason why we haven't seen her lately....I guess it all has to stop somewhere. She should give Prince a call-he hasn't aged a day in 25 years.